10 Reasons Intelligent Men Fail With Women
>NOTE: If you're finally ready to stop failing
with women, and you want to learn how to
meet and attract women like a MASTER, then
go watch the VIDEO clips of the programs I've
created to give you the success you're
looking for. Go here now:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/Catalog/
The Ten Reasons/Mistakes Why HIGHLY INTELLIGENT
Men FAIL With Women... AND WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT...
I've been teaching men how to become more
successful with women and dating for several years
now... and one "problem scenario" just keeps
coming up OVER AND OVER... and OVER and OVER and
OVER again...
...and it really amazes me.
I'm going to refer to it as "The Genius Failure
Paradox".
"The Genius Failure Paradox" is the tendency
for UNUSUALLY intelligent men to have very LOW
levels of success with women and dating.
After contemplating this particular paradox,
discussing it, and working on it for an awesome
amount of time, I'd like to share my thoughts
about it with you.
I assume that if you've read this far, then you
probably see yourself as smarter than the average
guy.
You know that you're a little different than
other guys.
You probably realized at a young age that you
saw things differently and thought differently
than others in school...
And you've probably realized that your smart
mind gives you an advantage over others in many
areas of life...
Your smart mind gives you a particular type of
advantage that can be very, very powerful in life:
YOU'RE USUALLY RIGHT.
Smart people get used to being "right" because
they usually ARE right.
And when you're RIGHT more often than others,
you can get ahead in many situations.
But unfortunately, this smart mind of yours can
actually be WORSE than USELESS when it comes to a
key area of life:
WOMEN AND DATING.
By the way, I did say WORSE than useless.
It can actually be like having a hammer when
you need to tighten a bolt. If you use the tool
you have for the job, you'll most likely make the
situation WORSE.
Of course, it's hard for a smart guy to even
IMAGINE a situation where his smart mind could
HURT his chances for success...
But trust me, this is one of those situations.
So relax, open your smart mind, and let me
share with you the ten reasons why smart guys fail
with women... and what to do about it.
REASON #1: THEY'RE WRONG, BUT THEY CAN'T OR WON'T
SEE IT OR ADMIT IT.
I mentioned that smart guys are used to being
RIGHT in most situations.
And what do most smart guys do when they come
across a situation where they're WRONG?
They find a new situation... one that fits
their strength. They know they'll be right next
time, so they just walk away... knowing that it
won't be long before they're right again.
(OR they let the "problem situation" destroy
them... more on that later.)
Well, the BITCH about being wrong when it comes
to women and dating is THERE'S NOWHERE TO RUN AND
HIDE.
There's no quick "I'm right" around the next
corner to make you feel better.
It only takes "failing" with a few women in a
row for a smart guy to see the pattern... and
realize that something isn't working.
Solution? Think harder.
A smart guy just assumes that his logic must be
good... so he just keeps thinking harder.
But when no success comes, it really starts to
become mentally difficult.
Accepting that you're wrong is a VERY hard
thing for a "smart guy" to do.
Accepting that you're not only wrong, but you
have NO CLUE WHERE TO EVEN START is even more
difficult.
Ultimately, many smart guys come up with the
following logical conclusion:
I AM A SMART GUY, THEREFORE IF I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND DATING, THEN
THE PROBLEM MUST NOT BE SOLVABLE OR WORTH SOLVING.
Try that on for a self-defeating idea.
REASON #2: THEY'RE BLIND AND ARROGANT.
In short, many smart guys refuse to accept that
a good, solid, workable answer could come from
someone "dumber" than them, so they discount any
idea that comes from an "obviously less
intelligent person" before trying it.
Let me ask you a question:
If you were going to be walking across Africa
on foot, would you rather have your guide be the
guy on this planet with the highest I.Q., or a
caveman who lived a million years ago that had an
I.Q. of about 50... but who grew up being chased
by lions and all kinds of animals that wanted to
eat him all his life?
It's an interesting question.
Now, hopefully you'd like to have the guide who
isn't the smartest guy around... but who has
escaped from many, many dangerous situations with
deadly animals...
But now let me ask you:
If you'd like to learn how to be more
successful with women and dating, would you take
advice from a guy who isn't very intelligent, but
who knows how to attract women?
There's something about being smart that makes
some guys unwilling to accept input, ideas, or
instruction from anyone who isn't either as smart
or smarter than them.
Well, any SMART GUY can see the folly in this
particular approach... once it's examined closely.
If you've been making this mistake, then you
need to STOP IT. Stop being an arrogant bastard,
and open your eyes.
Look around.
Learn from some "dumb" guys... and let them
teach you how to get what you REALLY want.
REASON #3: POOR SOCIAL SKILLS.
It BLOWS MY MIND how many smart guys I meet
that just don't GET IT when it comes to basic
social skills.
It's as if they have logically reasoned that
social skills are for lower beings who need to
play games... and not worth the time it would take
to learn them.
In fact, I believe that there are a lot of
smart guys running around this planet who don't
even have "social skills" and "be a cool guy that
people like" in their MENTAL MODEL of what it
could possibly take to be successful with women
and dating.
Social skills are just that... SKILLS.
They're not social INFORMATION.
They're not social THEORIES.
They're social SKILLS.
And you don't get them by THINKING about them.
You get them by GETTING them.
Excellent social skills are the foundation for
good communication with other humans... and if you
don't have good social skills, you dramatically
lower your chances for success with women.
REASON #4: THEY PSYCH THEMSELVES OUT.
Smart guys do something that fascinates the
hell out of me...
They come up with all the reasons why
everything WON'T WORK when it comes to women and
dating.
They actually figure out why what it is that
they would like to do will probably fail...
They use their amazing creative imaginations to
imagine all kinds of horrible pictures and
scenes... and then they use those imaginary
outcomes to create negative emotions... which
ultimately stop them from having success with
women and dating.
THEY DON'T EVEN TRY.
Now, if you've thought something through and
come up with a good reason why it would fail, it
makes sense to not do it, right?
I mean, why would you want to do things that
are going to fail?
It is sound logic, but HORRIBLE thinking when
it comes to the REAL WORLD... and success with
women.
Because smart guys don't UNDERSTAND women, and
they don't UNDERSTAND what it takes to be
successful with women, they are working with bad
figures. They're wrong before they even start
figuring!
Using your mind to come up with all the reasons
why things won't work in this area of your life
leads to ULTIMATE FAILURE.
You must learn to overcome this habit if you
have it.
REASON #5: THEY SEEK ONLY "INFORMATIONAL
SOLUTIONS"
What does a smart guy do when he runs into a
problem... or he needs to figure something out?
He looks for INFORMATION to help him solve the
problem.
MORE INFORMATION is always the answer.
Information is the friend of a smart guy.
Got a strange virus on your computer? Just hop
on the Internet and search for how to eliminate
it.
Don't know how to change the alternator on your
car? No prob. Just buy the manual and turn to page
147.
Don't know the definition of a word? Open up
your dictionary.
MORE INFORMATION solves the problem.
So what do smart guys do when it comes to
overcoming a problem with women?
They want MORE INFORMATION.
They think the answer lies in learning just ONE
MORE TECHNIQUE... or one more magic concept.
Well what if there were a situation in life
where the "get more information" strategy actually
made things WORSE?
How would you even know that it was making
things worse?
Now, I don't want to suggest that learning more
about how to be successful with women is a bad
thing. It's not.
But if you have a problem that is EMOTIONAL or
PHYSICAL in nature, then reading five million
theories on it probably isn't going to help you
very much.
You need to get out in the real world and try
some stuff!
You need to look at the REAL problem... the
ROOT of the problem.
When it comes to women and dating, there's a
very good chance that you have MORE than enough
"information".
Smart guys often use "more information" to
distract them from TAKING ACTION.
I've heard this referred to as "Creative
Avoidance".
Nod silently if you've ever figured out a
creative way to avoid facing something in your
life.
Good, thank you.
REASON #6: THEY FOCUS ON LOGIC INSTEAD OF EMOTION.
NEWS JUST IN: Women don't feel ATTRACTION for
men who make them THINK.
Women feel ATTRACTION for men who make them
FEEL.
So what do most smart guys do when they first
meet a woman?
EXACTLY!
They get into a LOGICAL CONVERSATION.
I'm shaking my head right now...
Smart men try to engage women in LOGICAL
conversations and interactions because that's
where THEY feel comfortable... not knowing that
they're SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT by doing
it!
Get this: A monkey sitting at a typewriter will
type the collected works of Shakespeare before you
will make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you by
engaging her in logical conversation.
When you start a logical conversation with a
woman you've just met, you are basically taking
out a NEON SIGN that says, "I don't get it when it
comes to women" and putting it on your head.
Typical "logical" conversations include talking
about work, family, school, and jobs... discussing
politics, religion, weather... and anything that
has to do with math, science, or INTELLIGENCE.
On the other hand, if you start talking to a
woman and you say, "OK, so tell me something...
Why is it that all women say that they want sweet,
nice guys... but they all date sexy, selfish, bad
boys?" (and then make fun of any answer she gives)
Now you're having an EMOTIONAL conversation.
If you don't know what I'm talking about, keep
reading. You need more help than I thought.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you just read this section,
and you can identify with what I'm talking about,
then I highly recommend that you go to this page:
http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/SexualCommunication
REASON #7: THEY'RE NOT USED TO THE CHALLENGE OF
THE MOMENT
Smart people usually have time to THINK about
things.
If you're taking a test, you can sit there and
work out the answers.
If you have a math problem, you can work on it
until you've figured it out.
If you're trying to fix something, you can keep
working on it until it's fixed.
Smart guys are used to being able to take at
least a LITTLE bit of time to prepare and show off
their "good sides" in most situations.
Not so with women...
If you don't know what to do at every step
along the way, you'll be shut down very quickly.
Women have an AMAZING "He doesn't get it" radar
system.
Women have all kinds of subtle and ingenious
tests that they throw at men to separate the "get
its" from the "don't get its".
And if you don't get it, then you're going to
fail one of these tests VERY quickly.
But the worst part is that you won't ever KNOW
that you were being tested... OR that you failed.
Smart guys aren't used to dealing with complex
EMOTIONAL and COMMUNICATION challenges in the
moment... and especially the "women and dating"
kind.
One of the keys to becoming more successful
with women and dating is learning to handle all of
the tests that women throw at you effortlessly.
But before you can learn how to deal with the
tests, you must first learn how to communicate on
an emotional level, how to demonstrate that you
have fundamental social skills, and how to keep
your cool in the moment.
REASON #8: THEY THINK THAT DOING "NICE" THINGS IS
THE "SMART WAY"
OK, let me ask you a trick question:
If I told you that you were going to have a
date with the super model of your choice, which of
the following would you choose as a "smart" way of
preparing:
1) Find out what her favorite type of flowers are,
and show up with a dozen of them so she would be
"wowed".
2) Learn about her favorite travel destination so
you could discuss it with her.
3) Find out what her favorite type of food is so
you could take her to dinner... and she could see
that you cared enough to choose something that she
enjoyed.
OK, time's up. Which did you choose?
Now, I already mentioned that this was a TRICK
question.
The answer is NONE OF THE ABOVE.
But WHY?
These three options all seemed logical, right?
I mean, why WOULDN'T you want to show up with
her favorite flowers?
Why WOULDN'T you want to talk about to her
about her favorite places to travel?
Why WOULDN'T you want to take her to eat her
favorite foods so she enjoyed herself?
Go with me here...
Smart guys think that they're being CLEVER when
they do things like buying a woman her favorite
flowers... and bringing them to the FIRST DATE.
Right?
In their minds they're thinking, "I'm going to
be the guy who is thinking ahead... and I'm going
to show up with the flowers that I KNOW she
loves... and she's going to see them and like me
more because of it".
Makes sense... good math, right?
Well the one teensy-weensy mistake that these
"smart" guys make is not realizing that it doesn't
actually take a smart person to think like this!
In fact, ANY jackass can figure out how to kiss
a woman's ass.
And guess what?
WOMEN KNOW THIS!
And guess what else?
EVERY WUSSBAG DOES THIS STUFF.
An intelligent guy, in his proud arrogance,
will think he's being such the charmer by using
this "thoughtful" approach...
...and the woman he is chasing will interpret
it as just another Wussy who's trying to
MANIPULATE her.
Ouch. Another blow to intelligence.
MISTAKE #9: THEY ALWAYS NEED TO BE THE EXPERT
Have you ever met a smart guy who always needed
to be "right"?
Have you ever met someone who would actually
argue with you about something they knew nothing
about... and make a fool of themselves because
they just couldn't shut their "smart mouths"?
Over the last few years helping guys improve
their success with women, I see this one pattern
over and over again...
Smart guys don't like to be "beginners" at
ANYTHING.
They don't like the idea of screwing up...
especially if others are watching.
They want to maintain this "smart guy" image of
themselves... so they try to always be "The
Expert" at whatever they do.
Instead of saying, "Hey, you know what? I'm a
beginner at this... how do I do it? What should I
do first? What next?"... and instead of being
totally OK with screwing up, making mistakes, and
making a fool of themselves in front of others in
order to LEARN...
...they won't risk embarrassment, failure, or
others thinking that they're beginners... so they
wind up ultimately FAILING.
MORE NEWS JUST IN: It's OK to be a beginner.
MISTAKE #10: THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH FEAR AND OTHER
EMOTIONS
A smart guy's STRENGTH is his MIND.
His WEAKNESS is often his EMOTIONS.
Smart guys are often IMMOBILIZED by FEAR.
Totally stopped.
FROZEN.
And since many smart guys aren't comfortable
dealing with things they're not good at, they just
repress or RUN away from fear.
Many men would rather DIE in lonely isolation
than admit that they don't know how to deal with
their emotions... or, GOD FORBID, ask for help!
Hey, I went for YEARS like this.
I know what it's like.
But the reality is that any guy can learn to
handle and even MASTER his emotions (even fear)...
if he just takes the time and effort to learn HOW
to do it.
If this is you, then do yourself a big favor...
take the time. Take the effort.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks of
you... it doesn't matter.
What matters is you doing the things that YOU
need to do FOR YOU.
...I think the reason why I'm so fascinated
with "The Genius Failure Paradox" is because I
have had to struggle with all of these issues for
a lot of years of my life.
Now, I'm not saying that I'm the smartest guy
on the planet...
But, I don't think mamma raised no fool.
And it always bothered the hell out of me that
even though I was so good at figuring things out,
I couldn't figure WOMEN out.
Something tells me that you know what I'm
talking about.
Well, after beating my head against the wall
for a few years... trying all kinds of crazy
"logical" stuff... I finally got the "bright" idea
to start studying guys who were "naturally" good
with women.
Of course, I found out that you could be both
NOT SMART and VERY SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN at the
same time.
I also learned that you can be SMART and VERY
SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN too.
By carefully studying what the "naturals" did
with women... and learning how they "thought"
about the topic, I began to realize that success
with women wasn't entirely LOGICAL.
Much of what I learned was very tough for me to
accept... because my logical brain just didn't
want to buy into it.
One thing I saw was guys pushing women away
from them... and having the women then chase them
in response.
Made no sense at all.
I saw guys tease beautiful women and make jokes
about them to their faces... and then watched
those women become "little girls" in response...
unable to maintain their composure and therefore
unable to maintain their manipulative power...
It took me quite a long time, but I continued
to learn, test, and refine what I was learning
until I personally figured out how to approach
women in any situation... get any woman's number I
wanted anytime I wanted... date any type of woman
I wanted...
...and most importantly, GET RID of that
"empty" feeling that I carried around my whole
life because I didn't know how to attract women.
And once I got this area of my own life
together, I decided to help other guys get this
area of THEIR lives together.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
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