i know this guy who plays some really hot licks
funny thing about it, he's 66
used to accounting now he's hanging out in bars
got a hot young girl and a fancy guitar
you so high you don't need to smoke a bowl
Cause you're never too old to rock and roll
You don't need that cupcake, sugar
cause you're already sweet
So come with us to canters
for a bite to eat
hanging out with me is the perfect date
you can catch my band if you're
staying out late
My bassist was a lawyer
for the biggest band on earth
my drummers been a ninja
since the day of his birth
and me,
i make up for it
in multiple ways
time didn't take a toll
because you're never too old to rock and roll
got a girlfriend half his age
with more money then god
she's got a tattoo of his band
on her smoking bod
she's ready for the action
now i'm going gold
cause you're never too old
to rock and roll
and if you don't go you'll never know
cause you're never too old to rock and roll
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
माय newplJohnny and leif enter the motel room. It has two beds. Leif- you share this room? Johnny- Hell no. and it’s a gay hotel
Johnny and leif enter the motel room. It has two beds.
Leif- you share this room?
Johnny- Hell no. and it’s a gay hotel but I ain’t gay. Hell, I didn’t become a rockstar so I could be gay. My friend is though. The one who got me in this place.
Leif- So did you still want to jam?
Johnny- Yeah, we will we will. Just hold on.
Leif- Otherwise, I mean I was thinking of going to this thing-
Johnny- what?
Leif- like a lecture. On balancing your chi, healing charkas, you know healthy stuff.
Johnny- that’s cool. (cell rings, he answers) hey Theresa. You gonna come down? Yeah, hold on a minute. (to Leif) Can you find out the address?
Leif – (Opens the door, yells out)
hey, what’s the address here?
(effeminate voice-) 945 San Vicente.
Leif- (to Johnny) It’s 945 San Vicente
Johnny- (into the phone) San Vi-what?
Leif-Vicente. San Vicente.
Johnny- 945 San Vicente. Come soon! I love you too. (hangs up)
Leif- That your girlfriend?
Johnny- nah, my sister.
Leif- I thought she lived in Portland.
Johnny- That’s my other sister. Hey do you know how to program numbers into this? Can you write Theresa? For that last call?
Leif-(grabbing the phone) Sure. (starts punching numbers into the phone) (The phone rings.) Looks like your dad is calling.
Johnny- Fuck, I don’t want to talk to him right now. Reminds me, I gotta call my sponsor.
Leif- hey, I’m gonna take a leak. (he exits, gives the phone to Johnny.)
Johnny-(dials the phone, talks into it) this Bill? Yeah, what the fuck were you doing, spilling the beans to my folks like that? My dads about to have a fuckin’ heart attack, asshole. I didn’t get kicked out of rehab. I did my time there. I graduated. And now I’m clean. Don’t go telling them my shit. They already have been trying to control me for most of my life. And how dare you tell Carol Anne to stay away from me? I’ve never hit a woman in my life. Would you like it it if I said that to your wife? To stay away from you? You wouldn’t like that, would you? So you’re making money off of me, and your fucking me over. Double whammy…… Where the fuck d’ya go? Fuckin’ fuck, hanging up like that.
Leif- (coming back on) No, I think your phone was just low on batteries.
Jon- oh, can you charge it for me? I bought a new charger. 3 new chargers I couldn’t get them to work though.
Leif- give em here, let me see. (Jon hands him the chargers) Well your phone is Tmobile, and 2 of these are atand t. This one should work. (He plugs the phone into the wall.)
Jon- How long is it gonna take? Allison’s gonna be here soon.
Leif- your sister’s name is Allison? I thought it was Theresa.
Jon-No, allson’s a friend of mine. She’s taking me to a picnic. For sober living. Want to come?
Leif- Well I’m already sober, does that matter?
Jon- you’re my friend. Any friend of mine is invited.
Leif- Thanks man. I just met you two hours ago and I’m already your friend? And you’re famous. You must have a lot of friends.
Jon- Hey my sisters gonna be here soon- don’t talk with her about my band it’ll upset her.
Leif- Sorry, I mean, really, I’m sorry.
Jon- Dude, no worries. She used to go out with Kenny. When they broke up, I got kicked out. Pretty fair, huh?
Leif- It’s not cause you slept with Henry’s girlfriend?
Jon- no, kwit being so nosy.
Leif=I’m really sorry if I asked you too many kwestions on the way over.
Jon- it’s ok. Just don’t do any speed- I’ll really have to wring your neck, how much you talk.
Leif- I think I’made the same mistake with this producer who recorded me, jade you know him.. I asked too many kwestions. I can’t help it- I’m overly curious with musicians.
Jon- Cuz you want to be one- it’s understandable. I wanted to be one ever since I was twelve. I went home from school and Rod Fisher showed me his drum set. We had a band back in the day, the Vinyl Clocks. Then I met Wolf and the rest was history. But don’t even ask me how I met him.
Leif- I was in high school when you guys put out that first album.
Jon- so hey where was that place we met at called?
Leif- pita way.
Jon-and you live over there?
Leif- yeah.
Jon- I might need to crash with you. I don’t know how long I’m staying here.
Leif- holy shit Jon from the reds wants to crash at my place. Wonder what my brother will say.
(Theresa walks in. Jon gets up from Couch and hugs her.)
Jon- sis, I haven’t seen you in forever and a day.
Theresa- I know. (looks at leif) who’s this?
Leif- (goes to shake her hand) I’m leif.
Theresa-(shaking his hands) hi leif, your hands are greasy.
Leif- We been walking. It’s hot outside.
Theresa- You a narc?
Leif- Me?
Jon- No, he’s a musician. We’re gonna play together.
Theresa- good, cause I brought you something. (She pulls out a pipe.)
Jon- (Leif) this stays in this room. I’m supposed to be clean.
Leif- oh, you’re going to……
Jon- Yeah, you want some?
Theresa- (lighting it up) Uh, I mean, I’m not tryin’ to sound like a hypocrite, but I wouldn’t recommend it, if you haven’t, I just wouldn’t……..
Jon- Plus, you might start talkin’ too much.
Leif- yeah, no, I’ll pass.
Jon- Good, cause I don’t want to have to wring your neck. ( he pats his back.) just kidding. (to Theresa) Leif’s cool. So dad’s a dick. He’s all upset that I checked out of rehab. They took all my money anyways. 50 thousand I make on the show and they leave me with six?
Theresa- sucks.
Jon- remember I bought mom that ring for 5 thousand? She sold it. I want them to send me my rolex and a few other things. Then I’m never talking to them again.
Theresa- they mean the best. I think they just don’t want you to spend it all on-
Jon- they’re gonna spend it all. Dad should get a job. He’s been living off of my successes for 20 years. He’s called me a dozen times today. So annoying.
Leif- (to Theresa) so how you liking L. a.?
Theresa- I don’t really like anywhere right now, to tell ya the truth. Everybody gets angry about stupid things, even if I don’t do nothing.
Jon- That’s cause you’re hanging with all them idiots. They aren’t your real friends. Like Chris, he almost got shot. What if you’re next to him when it happens again? That’s what I worry about.
Theresa- Chris is the least of my worries.
Jon- Well that’s a problem. Maybe you can stay with us for a while. I might be staying with Leif.
Theresa- Where do you live?
Leif- Pico Robertson. I just have to talk with my brother-
Jon- come on man, I won’t bring no crazies over.
Leif- I mean it’s tempting, you are John from the Reds and everything.
Jon- (gives him a look) not around her.
Leif- sorry.
Theresa- Its alright. (to Leif) So what do you do?
Leif- I play guitar and sing.
Theresa- you have a band?
Leif- trying to start one.
Jon- we were gonna jam later, maybe after the picnic.
Theresa- you’re playing again?
Jon- yeah, and I’m staying out here. I ain’t going back to seattle. Mom and dad suck. They just want to control everything.
Theresa- I’m glad you’re staying.
Leif- you coming to the picnic with us?
Jon- no she don’t like the sober picnics.
Theresa- cause I’m not sober, and I don’t want to hear no preaching. Plus, (looks at her watch) I gotta go soon. I’m meeting somebody.
Jon- who you meeting? You going on a date?
Theresa- yeah. Can I borrow 20 dollars?
Jon- (he opens his wallet, gives her a bill.)
Theresa- oh, I don’t need that much.
Jon- Sure, everybody does. You’re just lucky that you’re my sister.
Theresa- (putting the pipe in a drawer.) I would hide your things when you leave. And don’t carry anything on you. The West Hollywood P.d. is right there, like a block away. And you don’t need that shit.
Jon- thanks sis.
Theresa- he doesn’t know, he just moved here for the show.
Jon- like, 3 months ago. I love the weather here.
Leif- it’s too damn hot though.
Jon- hey, I got some text messages on my phone. I gotta figure out how to read them. That stupid kid keeps leavin something about trying to sell me xanax.
Theresa- that little punk Randy?
Jon- yeah.
Theresa- oh please stay away from him.
Jon- nothin’ worse then a rich kid acting all broke.
Theresa- idiot.
Jon- he’s all, oh, come party with us. Like that sounds fun, go party with a bunch of spoiled rich pricks.
Theresa- yeah, sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Leif- so when we goin’ to that picnic?
Jon- good kwestion. Wonder what’s taking that chick so long. (grabs his phone and dials) Where are you? We’re still waiting. On Fairfax? I don’t even know what that means. See ya soon darling.
Theresa- well, I’m gonna hit the road. (To Leif) It was nice meeting you.
Leif- nice meeting you too.
Theresa- (hugging Jon) Have fun.
Jon- You be careful little sis. (she exits.)
Leif- wow, so you just got out of rehab and you’re already smokin’ crack again? That was fast.
Jon- You’d better not tell anybody. And I shot heroin last night with a hooker. That doesn’t go past this door.
Leif- really?
Jon- yeah, but I’ll get clean again. I gotta go back on the show again. And this time I’m callin my lawyer. Dad and mom won’t be seeing a dime. Know what sucks most about the show?
Leif- what?
Jon- they don’t let you listen to music. All the cameras and stuff.
Leif- that does suck.
(There’s a knock at the door.)
Jon- can you get that? (Leif opens the door and Allison walks in.)
Allison- oh my god, I forgot about traffic in this town, and it’s gotten worse in the past 6 months. That’s how long I’ve been in PRC. Finally just got my car out of storage. (between kisses on Jon’s cheek) I’ll drive you wherever you want, Malibu, Beverly hills………(To Leif) Who are you?
Jon- That’s my new friend.
Leif- I’m Leif. Leif Franklin. But my hands are sweaty. I’ll settle for a hug.
Allison- (giving him a half hug.) you in treatment too?
Leif- no.
Allison- how do you guys know each other?
Jon- he’s a musician. We just met, we might jam after the picnic.
Leif- or at the picnic, if they have any guitars there.
Allison- oh shit. (looks at her watch.) I think we’re too late. They’re ending now, and it’s all the way in silverlake. We can hang, like I said, I’ll be your driver, wherever you want to go is good.
Leif- that sounds fun. Where we gonna go?
Allison- oh, it’s just a two seater. Mazda miata.
Leif- so I can’t come. (looks at watch) and it’s too late for my class now, shit.
Jon- hey man, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to ya. Stick around.
Leif- that’s alright, I was just hoping we could jam. Maybe I should just go. (Allison kind of nods her head.)
Jon- nah you don’t have to go yet. (to Allison) see that gay magazine? I’m not gay, but this place is. In fact I got laid last night with a really hot girl but I couldn’t really get it up. First time in 2 years. I gotta really lay off the junk. Not worth it if you can’t get it up.
Allison- yeah, it’ll do it to ya. Unless you’re on speed. Me and my boyfriend stayed in for a week once. (a beat.) you’ve got beautiful hair.
Jon- Thanks.
Allison- honestly, I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear your music before. A girlfriend played it for me last night. I liked it!
Jon-Thanks. We were great weren’t we? Then Henry had to go and die the bastard. No, if he was president, I was vice president of the band. When he left us, the other guys didn’t want me to have the power. They figured, just hire some other drummer. Then they wouldn’t have to pay me as much.
Leif- wasn’t it also cause of the affair with Pete’s wife?
Jon- (waving his hands in the air) You read too many stoy books.
I still get like 300 g’s a year in royaltys though. Plus I get paid to play with other dudes from the bands I always loved. Last Friday I played a benefit show at the avalon. Too tell you the truth, even if the Reds asked me back, I’d say no.
Allison- I was actually with Henry at Exodus, him and his girlfriend a year before he died. But I didn’t know your music back then. Thing is, I wasn’t interested in the rock stars or celebrities. I just wanted to get home to my little girl. I mean, what did she do to deserve having a junkie for a mother?
Jon- (picks up his phone and dials) you guys hungry, thirsty? I’m calling pink dot. I need to shave, I hate feeling like a bum. (into phone.) I need razors. I don’t care how much it costs, and I’m right down the street. 945 san Vicente. Hurry up. The names is Jon ashdown. We’re in the back, just ask the guy at the front for me.Hurry up, please. Thanks. (he hangs up.) where’s the towels? (looking around) They didn’t give me towels?
Leif-(sticks his head out the door) Can you get my friend some towels please?
Harv, the gay hotel employee, enters.
Harv- did you check the bathroom?
Jon- (Exiting) Oh. (offstage.) here they are.
Harv- That’s usually where towels are kept, right? (He exits)
Jon- (poking his head out) Hey, you two hang out. I need to take a shower. Just slip the razors under the door when they get here. (Gives Leif a bill) you can give him a tip and stuff. (Exits.)
Leif goes and sits down in a chair and Allison is on the couch. The Matrix plays on t.v., without any sound. There is an awkward silence.
Allison- first time I met Jon, I could see in his eyes, he’s so innocent. He’s like a child. He needs someone to take care of him, yeah, a caretaker. A mommy.
Leif- You want to take care of him?
Allison- My husband left his body three years ago. It was too much for him. We lived our disease together. He was a lawyer, I was his paralegal. We were functional at first. Then it got out of hand. When he finally cleaned up, his body went into shock. It’s ironic, ya know? Sometimes the junk is what keeps us alive. Sometimes we clean up, then we die. I have twelve months now, with the help of the lord. And I want to be there for Jon. You know he just got out and I don’t want him relapsing.
Leif- oh, I think he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do.
Allison- What’s that supposed to mean?
(Leif shrugs. There’s an awkward moment of silence.)
Allison- I just need to take it one day at a time. He just needs tender loving care. Sometimes a ladyfriend is all a guy like him needs to keep him…….. distracted.
Leif- Have you met his sister?
Allison- no I haven’t, not yet.
Leif- She was just here, right before you.
Allison- He is a bit younger then me. I mean, I think my son has some of his CDs. But I know how to keep looking young. Don’t you think? How old am I, can you guess?
Leif- I mean, you look great, what maybe 50, a young 50?
Allison- Why I never, people never think I look that old.
Leif- Well it’s just a guess. I was never good at judging age.
Allison- You think I’m 50? I should have never asked.
Leif- I have his cds, and my mom’s 55, so I figured……..
Allison- doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter. I’m 48. Not a huge difference, but I thought I glued myself together better then I apparently do, that’s all.
Leif- Hey, look, I didn’t mean to offend you.
Allison- Oh, you didn’t offend me. (looks at him sharply) You couldn’t.
Leif- What?
Allison- Some people get it, some people don’t. Odd thing is, it’s the users that always get me.
Leif- Birds of a feather…..
Allison- well I never.
Leif- I’ll just shut up. Apparently you offend easily. Maybe I should just leave. (knocks on the bathroom door.) I’m leaving.
Jon- no, bro, stick around. I’ll be out in a jiff.
(knock on the door, Leif opens it. It’s harv.)
Harv- Pink dot is here, can you just pay at the gate and get your stuff? We don’t want a bunch of in’s and out’s here. (Leif exits. The shower turns off.)
Allison- where’d you find this guy? He’s not very polite.
Jon- (offstage) nah, he’s cool. Plus my sister likes him.
Allison- You really love your sister, don’t you?
Jon- Yeah. She’s always right about people. Except the ones she hangs out with.
Allison- Can we go when you’re done? And just me and you though?
(Leif comes back in with the razors. Knocks on the bathroom door.)
Leif- here’s your razors. (Jon’s wet arm opens the door, grabs them, then closes the door.) (there is an awkward moment of silence.) you are really pretty. You do yoga or something?
Allison- no. (she lightens up a bit.) I do some pilates.
Leif- I didn’t mean anything, you know, before.
Allison- I know you didn’t. I’m just very protective over Jon. This isn’t about me. I don’t want him relapsing. So I’m just very careful about who he hangs out with. (Jon emerges with shaving cream on his face.)
Jon- I hang out with whoever I want to. (He grabs a beer from the fridge, pops it opened, and goes back into the bathroom.)
Allison- I mean, it’s just, people aren’t who they say they are. A lot of people out in the world are only out for themselves.
Leif- Look, Allison. I don’t know what you’re insinuating here, but Jon INVITED me over here. I didn’t just waltz in here, I didn’t just show up. And I’m not even a user. I just play music. In other words, my motives are on the table, out in the open. Yes, I’m trying to ‘make it’ in the music industry. What are you trying to do?
Allison- You might not USE drugs, but that doesn’t mean-
Leif- (pounding on the bathroom door) Jon, I really gotta go.
Jon- No, just STICK around a little while.
(Leif pounces about and sinks down onto the couch at the opposite end of where Allison is. She gets up and nervously gets out some makeup and begins applying it as she leans on the table.) ( Leif is shaking his head.)
Jon- (entering, wrapped in a towel. His face has no shaving cream.) Just what the doctor ordered. (Allison puts away her makeup, and adoringly embraces Jon)
Allison- my knight in shining armor, look at that lovely face, all clean as a baby’s bottom.
Jon- I feel like a baby in your arms. (They kiss.) (Jon looks over at Leif) so I want to maybe move in with you and your brother. (To Allison) I trust this guy. Don’t you? (she says nothing.) I got plenty of money, if that’s an issue.
Leif- I just gotta check it out, cause I don’t own the place. There’s certain restrictions we have to live by, I’ll let you know. (They go outside to stage left, on the veranda.)
Jon- Me and the lady, we might need a few hours alone. Definitely give a call tonight though. We’ll meet up later.
Leif- ok. We gonna jam soon?
Jon- Yeah, we will. I promise. (lights out.)
Leif- you share this room?
Johnny- Hell no. and it’s a gay hotel but I ain’t gay. Hell, I didn’t become a rockstar so I could be gay. My friend is though. The one who got me in this place.
Leif- So did you still want to jam?
Johnny- Yeah, we will we will. Just hold on.
Leif- Otherwise, I mean I was thinking of going to this thing-
Johnny- what?
Leif- like a lecture. On balancing your chi, healing charkas, you know healthy stuff.
Johnny- that’s cool. (cell rings, he answers) hey Theresa. You gonna come down? Yeah, hold on a minute. (to Leif) Can you find out the address?
Leif – (Opens the door, yells out)
hey, what’s the address here?
(effeminate voice-) 945 San Vicente.
Leif- (to Johnny) It’s 945 San Vicente
Johnny- (into the phone) San Vi-what?
Leif-Vicente. San Vicente.
Johnny- 945 San Vicente. Come soon! I love you too. (hangs up)
Leif- That your girlfriend?
Johnny- nah, my sister.
Leif- I thought she lived in Portland.
Johnny- That’s my other sister. Hey do you know how to program numbers into this? Can you write Theresa? For that last call?
Leif-(grabbing the phone) Sure. (starts punching numbers into the phone) (The phone rings.) Looks like your dad is calling.
Johnny- Fuck, I don’t want to talk to him right now. Reminds me, I gotta call my sponsor.
Leif- hey, I’m gonna take a leak. (he exits, gives the phone to Johnny.)
Johnny-(dials the phone, talks into it) this Bill? Yeah, what the fuck were you doing, spilling the beans to my folks like that? My dads about to have a fuckin’ heart attack, asshole. I didn’t get kicked out of rehab. I did my time there. I graduated. And now I’m clean. Don’t go telling them my shit. They already have been trying to control me for most of my life. And how dare you tell Carol Anne to stay away from me? I’ve never hit a woman in my life. Would you like it it if I said that to your wife? To stay away from you? You wouldn’t like that, would you? So you’re making money off of me, and your fucking me over. Double whammy…… Where the fuck d’ya go? Fuckin’ fuck, hanging up like that.
Leif- (coming back on) No, I think your phone was just low on batteries.
Jon- oh, can you charge it for me? I bought a new charger. 3 new chargers I couldn’t get them to work though.
Leif- give em here, let me see. (Jon hands him the chargers) Well your phone is Tmobile, and 2 of these are atand t. This one should work. (He plugs the phone into the wall.)
Jon- How long is it gonna take? Allison’s gonna be here soon.
Leif- your sister’s name is Allison? I thought it was Theresa.
Jon-No, allson’s a friend of mine. She’s taking me to a picnic. For sober living. Want to come?
Leif- Well I’m already sober, does that matter?
Jon- you’re my friend. Any friend of mine is invited.
Leif- Thanks man. I just met you two hours ago and I’m already your friend? And you’re famous. You must have a lot of friends.
Jon- Hey my sisters gonna be here soon- don’t talk with her about my band it’ll upset her.
Leif- Sorry, I mean, really, I’m sorry.
Jon- Dude, no worries. She used to go out with Kenny. When they broke up, I got kicked out. Pretty fair, huh?
Leif- It’s not cause you slept with Henry’s girlfriend?
Jon- no, kwit being so nosy.
Leif=I’m really sorry if I asked you too many kwestions on the way over.
Jon- it’s ok. Just don’t do any speed- I’ll really have to wring your neck, how much you talk.
Leif- I think I’made the same mistake with this producer who recorded me, jade you know him.. I asked too many kwestions. I can’t help it- I’m overly curious with musicians.
Jon- Cuz you want to be one- it’s understandable. I wanted to be one ever since I was twelve. I went home from school and Rod Fisher showed me his drum set. We had a band back in the day, the Vinyl Clocks. Then I met Wolf and the rest was history. But don’t even ask me how I met him.
Leif- I was in high school when you guys put out that first album.
Jon- so hey where was that place we met at called?
Leif- pita way.
Jon-and you live over there?
Leif- yeah.
Jon- I might need to crash with you. I don’t know how long I’m staying here.
Leif- holy shit Jon from the reds wants to crash at my place. Wonder what my brother will say.
(Theresa walks in. Jon gets up from Couch and hugs her.)
Jon- sis, I haven’t seen you in forever and a day.
Theresa- I know. (looks at leif) who’s this?
Leif- (goes to shake her hand) I’m leif.
Theresa-(shaking his hands) hi leif, your hands are greasy.
Leif- We been walking. It’s hot outside.
Theresa- You a narc?
Leif- Me?
Jon- No, he’s a musician. We’re gonna play together.
Theresa- good, cause I brought you something. (She pulls out a pipe.)
Jon- (Leif) this stays in this room. I’m supposed to be clean.
Leif- oh, you’re going to……
Jon- Yeah, you want some?
Theresa- (lighting it up) Uh, I mean, I’m not tryin’ to sound like a hypocrite, but I wouldn’t recommend it, if you haven’t, I just wouldn’t……..
Jon- Plus, you might start talkin’ too much.
Leif- yeah, no, I’ll pass.
Jon- Good, cause I don’t want to have to wring your neck. ( he pats his back.) just kidding. (to Theresa) Leif’s cool. So dad’s a dick. He’s all upset that I checked out of rehab. They took all my money anyways. 50 thousand I make on the show and they leave me with six?
Theresa- sucks.
Jon- remember I bought mom that ring for 5 thousand? She sold it. I want them to send me my rolex and a few other things. Then I’m never talking to them again.
Theresa- they mean the best. I think they just don’t want you to spend it all on-
Jon- they’re gonna spend it all. Dad should get a job. He’s been living off of my successes for 20 years. He’s called me a dozen times today. So annoying.
Leif- (to Theresa) so how you liking L. a.?
Theresa- I don’t really like anywhere right now, to tell ya the truth. Everybody gets angry about stupid things, even if I don’t do nothing.
Jon- That’s cause you’re hanging with all them idiots. They aren’t your real friends. Like Chris, he almost got shot. What if you’re next to him when it happens again? That’s what I worry about.
Theresa- Chris is the least of my worries.
Jon- Well that’s a problem. Maybe you can stay with us for a while. I might be staying with Leif.
Theresa- Where do you live?
Leif- Pico Robertson. I just have to talk with my brother-
Jon- come on man, I won’t bring no crazies over.
Leif- I mean it’s tempting, you are John from the Reds and everything.
Jon- (gives him a look) not around her.
Leif- sorry.
Theresa- Its alright. (to Leif) So what do you do?
Leif- I play guitar and sing.
Theresa- you have a band?
Leif- trying to start one.
Jon- we were gonna jam later, maybe after the picnic.
Theresa- you’re playing again?
Jon- yeah, and I’m staying out here. I ain’t going back to seattle. Mom and dad suck. They just want to control everything.
Theresa- I’m glad you’re staying.
Leif- you coming to the picnic with us?
Jon- no she don’t like the sober picnics.
Theresa- cause I’m not sober, and I don’t want to hear no preaching. Plus, (looks at her watch) I gotta go soon. I’m meeting somebody.
Jon- who you meeting? You going on a date?
Theresa- yeah. Can I borrow 20 dollars?
Jon- (he opens his wallet, gives her a bill.)
Theresa- oh, I don’t need that much.
Jon- Sure, everybody does. You’re just lucky that you’re my sister.
Theresa- (putting the pipe in a drawer.) I would hide your things when you leave. And don’t carry anything on you. The West Hollywood P.d. is right there, like a block away. And you don’t need that shit.
Jon- thanks sis.
Theresa- he doesn’t know, he just moved here for the show.
Jon- like, 3 months ago. I love the weather here.
Leif- it’s too damn hot though.
Jon- hey, I got some text messages on my phone. I gotta figure out how to read them. That stupid kid keeps leavin something about trying to sell me xanax.
Theresa- that little punk Randy?
Jon- yeah.
Theresa- oh please stay away from him.
Jon- nothin’ worse then a rich kid acting all broke.
Theresa- idiot.
Jon- he’s all, oh, come party with us. Like that sounds fun, go party with a bunch of spoiled rich pricks.
Theresa- yeah, sounds like a barrel of laughs.
Leif- so when we goin’ to that picnic?
Jon- good kwestion. Wonder what’s taking that chick so long. (grabs his phone and dials) Where are you? We’re still waiting. On Fairfax? I don’t even know what that means. See ya soon darling.
Theresa- well, I’m gonna hit the road. (To Leif) It was nice meeting you.
Leif- nice meeting you too.
Theresa- (hugging Jon) Have fun.
Jon- You be careful little sis. (she exits.)
Leif- wow, so you just got out of rehab and you’re already smokin’ crack again? That was fast.
Jon- You’d better not tell anybody. And I shot heroin last night with a hooker. That doesn’t go past this door.
Leif- really?
Jon- yeah, but I’ll get clean again. I gotta go back on the show again. And this time I’m callin my lawyer. Dad and mom won’t be seeing a dime. Know what sucks most about the show?
Leif- what?
Jon- they don’t let you listen to music. All the cameras and stuff.
Leif- that does suck.
(There’s a knock at the door.)
Jon- can you get that? (Leif opens the door and Allison walks in.)
Allison- oh my god, I forgot about traffic in this town, and it’s gotten worse in the past 6 months. That’s how long I’ve been in PRC. Finally just got my car out of storage. (between kisses on Jon’s cheek) I’ll drive you wherever you want, Malibu, Beverly hills………(To Leif) Who are you?
Jon- That’s my new friend.
Leif- I’m Leif. Leif Franklin. But my hands are sweaty. I’ll settle for a hug.
Allison- (giving him a half hug.) you in treatment too?
Leif- no.
Allison- how do you guys know each other?
Jon- he’s a musician. We just met, we might jam after the picnic.
Leif- or at the picnic, if they have any guitars there.
Allison- oh shit. (looks at her watch.) I think we’re too late. They’re ending now, and it’s all the way in silverlake. We can hang, like I said, I’ll be your driver, wherever you want to go is good.
Leif- that sounds fun. Where we gonna go?
Allison- oh, it’s just a two seater. Mazda miata.
Leif- so I can’t come. (looks at watch) and it’s too late for my class now, shit.
Jon- hey man, I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to ya. Stick around.
Leif- that’s alright, I was just hoping we could jam. Maybe I should just go. (Allison kind of nods her head.)
Jon- nah you don’t have to go yet. (to Allison) see that gay magazine? I’m not gay, but this place is. In fact I got laid last night with a really hot girl but I couldn’t really get it up. First time in 2 years. I gotta really lay off the junk. Not worth it if you can’t get it up.
Allison- yeah, it’ll do it to ya. Unless you’re on speed. Me and my boyfriend stayed in for a week once. (a beat.) you’ve got beautiful hair.
Jon- Thanks.
Allison- honestly, I’m sorry, but I didn’t hear your music before. A girlfriend played it for me last night. I liked it!
Jon-Thanks. We were great weren’t we? Then Henry had to go and die the bastard. No, if he was president, I was vice president of the band. When he left us, the other guys didn’t want me to have the power. They figured, just hire some other drummer. Then they wouldn’t have to pay me as much.
Leif- wasn’t it also cause of the affair with Pete’s wife?
Jon- (waving his hands in the air) You read too many stoy books.
I still get like 300 g’s a year in royaltys though. Plus I get paid to play with other dudes from the bands I always loved. Last Friday I played a benefit show at the avalon. Too tell you the truth, even if the Reds asked me back, I’d say no.
Allison- I was actually with Henry at Exodus, him and his girlfriend a year before he died. But I didn’t know your music back then. Thing is, I wasn’t interested in the rock stars or celebrities. I just wanted to get home to my little girl. I mean, what did she do to deserve having a junkie for a mother?
Jon- (picks up his phone and dials) you guys hungry, thirsty? I’m calling pink dot. I need to shave, I hate feeling like a bum. (into phone.) I need razors. I don’t care how much it costs, and I’m right down the street. 945 san Vicente. Hurry up. The names is Jon ashdown. We’re in the back, just ask the guy at the front for me.Hurry up, please. Thanks. (he hangs up.) where’s the towels? (looking around) They didn’t give me towels?
Leif-(sticks his head out the door) Can you get my friend some towels please?
Harv, the gay hotel employee, enters.
Harv- did you check the bathroom?
Jon- (Exiting) Oh. (offstage.) here they are.
Harv- That’s usually where towels are kept, right? (He exits)
Jon- (poking his head out) Hey, you two hang out. I need to take a shower. Just slip the razors under the door when they get here. (Gives Leif a bill) you can give him a tip and stuff. (Exits.)
Leif goes and sits down in a chair and Allison is on the couch. The Matrix plays on t.v., without any sound. There is an awkward silence.
Allison- first time I met Jon, I could see in his eyes, he’s so innocent. He’s like a child. He needs someone to take care of him, yeah, a caretaker. A mommy.
Leif- You want to take care of him?
Allison- My husband left his body three years ago. It was too much for him. We lived our disease together. He was a lawyer, I was his paralegal. We were functional at first. Then it got out of hand. When he finally cleaned up, his body went into shock. It’s ironic, ya know? Sometimes the junk is what keeps us alive. Sometimes we clean up, then we die. I have twelve months now, with the help of the lord. And I want to be there for Jon. You know he just got out and I don’t want him relapsing.
Leif- oh, I think he’s gonna do what he’s gonna do.
Allison- What’s that supposed to mean?
(Leif shrugs. There’s an awkward moment of silence.)
Allison- I just need to take it one day at a time. He just needs tender loving care. Sometimes a ladyfriend is all a guy like him needs to keep him…….. distracted.
Leif- Have you met his sister?
Allison- no I haven’t, not yet.
Leif- She was just here, right before you.
Allison- He is a bit younger then me. I mean, I think my son has some of his CDs. But I know how to keep looking young. Don’t you think? How old am I, can you guess?
Leif- I mean, you look great, what maybe 50, a young 50?
Allison- Why I never, people never think I look that old.
Leif- Well it’s just a guess. I was never good at judging age.
Allison- You think I’m 50? I should have never asked.
Leif- I have his cds, and my mom’s 55, so I figured……..
Allison- doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter. I’m 48. Not a huge difference, but I thought I glued myself together better then I apparently do, that’s all.
Leif- Hey, look, I didn’t mean to offend you.
Allison- Oh, you didn’t offend me. (looks at him sharply) You couldn’t.
Leif- What?
Allison- Some people get it, some people don’t. Odd thing is, it’s the users that always get me.
Leif- Birds of a feather…..
Allison- well I never.
Leif- I’ll just shut up. Apparently you offend easily. Maybe I should just leave. (knocks on the bathroom door.) I’m leaving.
Jon- no, bro, stick around. I’ll be out in a jiff.
(knock on the door, Leif opens it. It’s harv.)
Harv- Pink dot is here, can you just pay at the gate and get your stuff? We don’t want a bunch of in’s and out’s here. (Leif exits. The shower turns off.)
Allison- where’d you find this guy? He’s not very polite.
Jon- (offstage) nah, he’s cool. Plus my sister likes him.
Allison- You really love your sister, don’t you?
Jon- Yeah. She’s always right about people. Except the ones she hangs out with.
Allison- Can we go when you’re done? And just me and you though?
(Leif comes back in with the razors. Knocks on the bathroom door.)
Leif- here’s your razors. (Jon’s wet arm opens the door, grabs them, then closes the door.) (there is an awkward moment of silence.) you are really pretty. You do yoga or something?
Allison- no. (she lightens up a bit.) I do some pilates.
Leif- I didn’t mean anything, you know, before.
Allison- I know you didn’t. I’m just very protective over Jon. This isn’t about me. I don’t want him relapsing. So I’m just very careful about who he hangs out with. (Jon emerges with shaving cream on his face.)
Jon- I hang out with whoever I want to. (He grabs a beer from the fridge, pops it opened, and goes back into the bathroom.)
Allison- I mean, it’s just, people aren’t who they say they are. A lot of people out in the world are only out for themselves.
Leif- Look, Allison. I don’t know what you’re insinuating here, but Jon INVITED me over here. I didn’t just waltz in here, I didn’t just show up. And I’m not even a user. I just play music. In other words, my motives are on the table, out in the open. Yes, I’m trying to ‘make it’ in the music industry. What are you trying to do?
Allison- You might not USE drugs, but that doesn’t mean-
Leif- (pounding on the bathroom door) Jon, I really gotta go.
Jon- No, just STICK around a little while.
(Leif pounces about and sinks down onto the couch at the opposite end of where Allison is. She gets up and nervously gets out some makeup and begins applying it as she leans on the table.) ( Leif is shaking his head.)
Jon- (entering, wrapped in a towel. His face has no shaving cream.) Just what the doctor ordered. (Allison puts away her makeup, and adoringly embraces Jon)
Allison- my knight in shining armor, look at that lovely face, all clean as a baby’s bottom.
Jon- I feel like a baby in your arms. (They kiss.) (Jon looks over at Leif) so I want to maybe move in with you and your brother. (To Allison) I trust this guy. Don’t you? (she says nothing.) I got plenty of money, if that’s an issue.
Leif- I just gotta check it out, cause I don’t own the place. There’s certain restrictions we have to live by, I’ll let you know. (They go outside to stage left, on the veranda.)
Jon- Me and the lady, we might need a few hours alone. Definitely give a call tonight though. We’ll meet up later.
Leif- ok. We gonna jam soon?
Jon- Yeah, we will. I promise. (lights out.)
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