Thursday, April 1, 2010

ciaband

Jimmy Friday is the singer for a rock and roll band. He’s also the son of Renegade CIa man Daniel Friday, a man whose wherabouts are unknown. In an attempt to forget his troubled past, Jimmy has developed into a Rock and roll singer and persued his dreams fronting a band called jaw2jaw. Now that band has disbanded and he is looking for new players for his next project.
ZIggy Prague is the pseudonym given to guitar master and CIa agent Martin Siegel. He’s A frustrated musician who has given up his dreams for a real living as a government agent. When he is called upon to be in Jimmy’s new band, he realizes it’s a plan drawn straight from mephistoles – he must betray the singer he idolizes in order to play with him. He is given orders from on high to protect him, inspect him, and be ready to reject him.
Then there is Tina Dahl, the hot bass player who becomes his love interest. She is a government agent who’s skills in the espionage department are so hot that even though she is not a musician, she is given crash courses in bass playing just so that she can keep Jimmy in line as well.
Then there’s Johnny 2 times, the drummer, who has no connection to the cia. He’s just a great drummer and naïve to the craziness around him. The sole survivor along with jimmy from jaw2jaw, he is naïve at first but starts to pick up on the conspiracy within his band thanks to his brilliant engineer girlfriend Sheila, who jokes about it constantly. I am Cadence Miller, ringleader manager, and cia agent.


So I’ve come to the conclusion that generally, people who love to travel are those who haven’t done much of it. I, for one, am tired of the early mornings rushing to the airport, being packed in a tin can in the sky. Coming into Lax last week a friendly united airlines employee was grilling me about my travels. He wore a red vest and expressed a friendly enough demeanor.
‘Wow, you got back from Tokyo? I’ve always wanted to go jaPan.’
‘It’s a lot of fun,’ I growled curtly. He must of remembered me somehow, I couldn’t recall how.
‘I’m hal, remember I checked you in?’ he said. ‘I’m just on break right now. I’d rather come to the magazine rack then go into the break room and listen to everyone complaining about unions and stuff.’
I remembered him now.
‘great memory you have,’ I said reaching my hand out as if he’d earned my respect. He had. He seemed like a smart enough guy, stuck here as a wage slave. Maybe he was a student. ‘Do you go to school?’
‘no I’m in a band. I play the drums.’
‘Really? I manage a band. In fact, we may be auditioning new players. Do you have a card?’
He didn’t waste a second, but reached into his coat pocket and grabbed a card. I grabbed it and looked at it. It didn’t just have his phone and email, but links to a website and EPK.
‘never know who you’re going to meet at the airport,’ he said, smiling. ‘that’s why I don’t mind working here.’
‘But you don’t love it.’
‘of course not. I love playing drums.’
I gave him a card as well. It said my name, Cadence Miller, then, UNITED Management. It had my email and phone number. Then I left and caught a cab.

Los angeles is not as bad as they say. There are so many micro communities and nature spots. Ironic as it seems though, the best places here are the ones that make you forget about the city itself. Topanga canyon, Malibu canyon. Hiking trails off of sierra bonita. You can have the sunset strip, I’d tell the driver to keep driving until were a few miles east, past where Hollywood blvd and sunset kiss, and a few blocks down into silverlake. Like El Cid where Janes addiction played their secret show with Eric avery on bass in 2008. Damn it I had to be in paris that week but I watched most of it on youtube. I made sure not to miss their show at the echoplex at least. That’s why I don’t like leaving this town. You never know what you’re going to miss out on. I told my boss I wanted a break from travels. I told him to get me something where I didn’t have to be a beatnik in the sky, downing adderall instead of Benzedrine. I want to go on juice fasts, bike rides, surfing, and work in my spare time. I’ll even take a pay cut. Hold the phone, I found out I don’t have to take a pay cut. Because of my encyclopedia like knowledge of rock and roll I could ‘play’ a rock and roll manager. Only it wouldn’t be a movie. It would be real life. I’d be talking to booking agents, etc. But I wasn’t in over my head. Andy diamond over at real life management would be talking me through the hard parts, and dealing with the practical aspects of the music business. I would be band psychologist, and spy. See, our boy Jimmy has information we want. It’s information that is so deep in him that he doesn’t even realize anybody would desire it. But it’s there. He’s the son of a mastermind. Sir Daniel Friday. The key is, we don’t need all the information at once. And we eventually want him to work for us. But we must make the spider desire the web. Why the government wants thousands of pages of dossiers on somebody who wants nothing to do with them baffles me. But it’s my work, and money makes the world go around. But music is the axis from what it spins. So I’m just going to have to let it whirl. Can I order you a drink? I’ll have the irish car bomb, but I’m not gonna dunk the shot glass into the Guinness, I’m just going to pour the likor in cause I’m a bit of a germophobe.
So our man jimmy thinks he’s some kind of modern day joe strummer. He’s never been the same since he saw the doc. About him at the nuart. The future is unwritten, it was called. He saw a film star washing his hands in the bathroom and didn’t say hello. But he did shout out, ‘wasn’t that awesome?’ and found it funny that this star was the son of an actress who’s most famous movie’s actor had one of his obscure early flicks showing in the future at the nuart and was shown in the trailer. He ran down the street in a manic skip, popped in his car rolled home. Once there, he got out his beat up graffiti sprayed macbook pro and began pecking in his online blog.
IN THE NEW BaND THERE WE won’t have a website. We will be all word of mouth. Possible band names: tantrum, vinyl clocks. Need to get some cool skinny ties and suspenders. Need to get a suit and spill paint on it. Only get band members that won’t sell out. Play venues downtown, like Rosebud, the smell. It’s not about the money.
So the way I’m going to get through to him is through sublety. I’ll go to some of his gigs, give him my card. It works every time. Let him know I’m no a&r guy. I’m an artist myself. Even have some of my very own songs on itunes. He’s not going to know what hit him.
Jimmy’s flat at the million dollar hotel. Plastic glow crucifix on a statue of Buddha. A book called the gospel of levi, which recounts jesus’s lost years. A carafe halfway filled with rice sake. A towel hung on the shower, used for drying hands and drying after bathing. Most of all the view. The view is that there is no view. His first room without a view. But that’s the price of freedom. No more record deal, the advance from jaw2jaw ran out long ago. No more trust fund, no more nothin’. Didn’t bother jimmy that much. Well, maybe a little bit. As ice cube said, mo money mo problems. His favorite watering hole a block down. His one stop lkor shop on the way. He told igor he wanted the camel reds where it said $6 and pleasantly reprimanded him when charged $7. He couldn’t let that stuff go anymore. He no longer had more money then god. And who’s hanging out at the watering hole? Let’s have a look see. Plenty of USC girls from new york city. Harboring a secret love for the new downtown because it’s reminding them more and more of the home they left behind. Personal assistants for actors who want to be actors, waiters who want to sing. It was perfect. He opened his journal and thought about Leah, the beautiful young woman who claimed to be one of the enlightened ones of the new age. They call them indigo children. She inspired this:
indigo, don’t say you gotta go:
crush is when the colors come out.

He thought about powdered incense, how it had to be crushed to smell good. He thought about Indigo leaving his flat, giving him nothing but a kiss on the cheek and that stomach ache that wouldn’t leave for a week. Hopeless romantic? No you would have gotten one too if you were a 26 year old straight male. Then he wrote down:
No more Girls.
For now.

They always got him off track. Like the last one. He wrote this for her:

It’s not your fault. You’re all the rage.
Addicted to angst but you’ve got great legs.
You will not download
Her emotional hardware
She’s bound to break
But acts like she don’t care

she’s beautiful but an emotional brain-bot
they taught her from birth
to be a dilettante
pharmaceutical clone with a large evil eye
it takes a semester just to learn how to cry.

Get ready for electrical brainwaves
Helmets visors and headphones too
We’ll get instructions
How to start our life all over again if that’s what we choose!

Hone in perfect detail
Lasers seen holographically
Spinning shapes so geometrical
Satellite systems I’m absorbed
In the screen

I’ve died / been reborn

Into a warrior never torn between what’s right and wrong
I live for the rye and the song. Human tongue/ snake tongue.

Then his cell phone rang. It was me.
‘We gonna do that audition?’ I asked. ‘Because I have somebody I think would be a great guitar player. He went to Berklee, and he’s amazing.’
‘I don’t want any jazz heads,’ he said. ‘I mean, I like coltrane, mingus, miles, as much as the next guy but I’m not looking for some dude with a strap on metronome.’
‘just shut up. Have I been wrong before? And I’ve got a great bass player for you too.’
‘Just as long as he’s into peter hook and eric avery.’
‘She’s like your twin.’
‘SHE? Is she pretty?’
‘That’s irrelevant. Be there tomorrow at noon.’

Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to go about the audition. All I knew is who had to be the chosen ones. Jimmy and his drummer Johnny 2 times were a given. And so were the chosen ones. Ziggy was already a master, but I had him study every note of the first 3 janes addiction albums and bought him an instructional video of Dave Navarro. He arrived to the audition with his long legs sticking out of his blue shorts which had long zippers going all the way to the bottom. He had a funky red tuxedo shirt with a black tie. It sounds odd but it kind of worked. Tina Dahl didn’t have to worry about her appearance. She was beautiful in the fishnet stockings, high heels that take talent to walk in, and a perfectly made up face with luscious red lips to match her strawberry red hair. She pulled out her red Gibson sg bass and was ready to go.
‘I don’t use any pedals, I just want to plug right in,’ she said. I had them wait a little while as we tried out some people from and ad we ran on craigslist. There were still plenty of old timers still trying to live the dream. Along with some straight out of rehabbers and other various burnouts. Good people, hearts in the right places, some were even skilled. But the timing was off. And rock and roll is all about timing. By the time Tina and Ziggy were ready, jimmy and Johnny were ready for action. They plunged into some old jaw2jaw favorites, and then mountain song by janes addiction. It was an easy fit, a cinderella’s shoe. Jimmy nodded me to come to the back room.
‘ok, I owe you one,’ he said.
Believe me, it’s not always this easy.

‘Shut the fuck up, this isn’t funny,’ Martin Siegel roared into the phone. Usually he wasn’t like this. He thought I was toying with him. I wasn’t. ‘jaw to jaw is one of my favorite bands. You can’t be serious.’
‘We’ve searched everyone in the database. There’s a few other notable musicians, but we are attracted to the fact that you specialize in guitar. In other words, that’s aLL you specialize in, in terms of music. and you’ve got the right taste for the band.’
‘This doesn’t make sense. So this is some kind of under cover job? Like I have to keep tabs on him or something?’
‘Just think of it like you’re journaling about the details of someone’s character. Oh, and also, you need to protect him. We don’t want him harmed. We just want to know what he’s up to. And you need to be able to rock, which you are.’
‘This is too bizarre. I feel like I’m in a movie. Shit. Does this mean I have to live in l. a.?’
‘Yeah, you’ll like it. And think of a pseudonymn.’
‘That’s easy. Ziggy Prague. I made it up on tour like a decade ago. Prague was my favorite city.’
‘Why?’
‘The girls.’

Band Meeting.
We all got into a room. All I know is it was by a pool table. Oh, and it was in a restaurant shaped like the titanic. It was a few blocks from the Wiltern. Don’t even ask how many shows I’ve been to there. The pogues was my favorite one.
‘So now we gotta think of a band name.’
“So we’re in?” Ziggy pounced. He still couldn’t believe it.
Jimmy took a swig from his black coffee and muttered, ‘of course.’ He sat at the head of the table like he was the CEO. He leaned forward a bit.
‘I’ve been thinking. One of my favorite bands from the early 80’s is the police. Ever thought how funny it is that they called themselves The Police?’
‘oh here we go,’ I thought.
‘Every band needs a myles Copeland. You’re our myles Copeland,’ he waved a finger toward me. ‘Did you know he’s the drummer Stuart’s brother?’
I nodded slightly, knowing the whole story. They were raised in Lebanon, along with the other brother Ian, whom I saw speak at the Roosevelt hotel before he passed away. He had run IRS records which had REM and the gogo’s, among others.
‘and their dad was in the cia.’ His eyes darted toward me knowingly.
‘shit,’ I thought. ‘Is he in on something?’
‘I was thinking. We could call the band Cia. What do you guys think?
Tina and Ziggy looked at each other for a brief second then looked away.
‘kind of weird,’ kwipped Johnny 2 times, not needing to be the yes man.
‘I like it,’ said tina, looking at me. ‘It’s endearing.’
Ziggy was back in his apartment in santa monica, trying to contain his excitement. Had I actually done something right in my life? He thought to himself. There had been no party in his soul before. Now there was a rager. He had to write.

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