(playing to live audience.)

I am the contradiction man. Seems like everything contradicts, is perpetually obtuse, ambivalent. Like take Porn for instance. any guy would love to be a porn star. wouldn't you? all that great sex? any guy who says he wouldn't love to be a porn star is lying. Let's see a show of hands to guys who would love to do porn. i'm talkin' with WOMEN. (to people not raising their hands) you bunch of liars. You wouldn't get paid to have sex with beautiful woment? my whole problem is, that i love my mama. she would cry if i did porn.

So there's this smug asshole in my apartment complex. always makes a big deal about what a wealthy self made man he is. I met his dad in the elevator. His dad was like, yeah this is a nice place- it better be, it cost me enough money. the guy's dad bought his apt. for him. What a douche.