Renouncer Ramblings

Setting up your morning routine.
We've all had those moments where we feel invincible. I can recall certain athletic settings, a brisk jog in the mountains, swimming on a pristine beach on the big island of hawaii. We have to recreate those kinds of feelings in the morning when we wake up so that we can program the day for success. I have a lot of things I'm worried about right now, but I can't let that get in the way: For instance, I don't have any money. Literally, I have like not even a dollar left in my bank account. And yet, today, I'm going to therapy, (I may have to ask my therapist if I can pay her next week.) I am practicing with my band downtown. I owe $50 for rehearsal space rent, and I have barely any gas in my car to get there. I've been ignoring my dental problems for months now and on saturday part of one of my upper back molars got chipped off while I was using a plastic floss stick. So I think I'm going to need to go to the LA free clinic tomorrow.
Shit! I've just realized I have a 115 pm appointment at apple one which coincides with my therapy appointment- gonna have to make a change. Oops, now I'm realizing I don't even know whether my therapy appt. is today or wednesday- I don't have a set routine with my therapist- we pretty much decide on the next meeting at the end of every session.
So I'm beginning to realize why people establish order and routines in their life. Have I EVER had that? If I really think hard about it, the most routine time in my life was Junior High School. I actually got decent grades in Junior High (not like high school), and I played soccer in the fall after school. On top of that I did theater the first year and a lot of guitar playing too. (That was when I started.)
There was also a time when I lived in North Carolina, where all I did was work. I was 19 years old. I was paying $200 a month in this rinky dink room adjacent to the landlord, who was a paranoid Greek man who claimed to be ex-CIA- I think that's what made me interested in espionage. Anyways, I would get up and be at work at whole foods at like 8 or 9 in the morning, than at 5 I would ride my bicycle way across town to my other job, Salsa Fresh, over 6 miles, than ride back home another 6 miles when I got out at like 11. So I'd get home at midnight or 1 and I'd fall asleep to Tom Snyder.
I never really had a very regimented life. Hard as it is for me to admit it, I'm just not very disciplined. Now when it comes to doing things I like, I'm pretty good at cracking the whip on myself. But if I really look at it realistically, I do tend to be more motivated when somebody is cracking it on me. AHA! That's why I haven't developed the leadership t start my own band! I must develop discipline.