Scoliosis is a disorder that causes an abnormal curvature of the spine or backbone greater then 10 degrees as shown on an Xray. A curve that is seen from the side in which the spine is bent forward is known as Kyphosis. This is what causes a person to look like they have terrible posture, even when they’re trying not to. Some call this having a “hunchback.” This is often accompanied by stiffness of the back and muscle fatigue.
Another form of Scoliosis is known as lordosis. This is where the spine is bent backward when looked at from the side.
In most cases, Scoliosis is idiopathic, which means the cause is unknown.
PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
The reason I chose to Scoliosis for my project is because I am affected by it but don't know very much about it. I was personally diagnosed with Scoliosis in a junior high physical assessment, but nothing was done to correct it. About a decade later a Chiropractor at a health seminar diagnosed me as having Scoliosis with a Forward pelvic tilt. I have tried to improve by staying active and was on a yoga regimen for a little while. Thankfully my condition has not gotten out of hand but I do feel it a challenge to stand at perfect posture for long periods of time and can tend to look like I'm slouching even when I am not.
Etiology
It is a mystery why some people develop scoliosis and some do not. For instance, I have a twin brother who never developed this problem. I sometimes wonder if it was the result of working out with weights incorrectly or perhaps a random sports injury of my youth. According to the National Scoliosis Foundation, there is no known cause of most human spine deformities. There has, however, been research done on certain hormones, like melatonin on the effect of Scoliosis. It has been noted that on research of certain animals, when the pineal gland has been removed scoliosis has been produced. This is very interesting to me because the pineal gland produces melatonin, which is linked to all sorts of things from our circadian rhythms and sleep patterns. Could there be a link between scoliosis and insomnia? Indeed, sleep does seem to be a recurring problem with people that suffer from this disorder, including yours truly.
Signs and Symptoms of Scoliosis
Besides unknown, or "Idiopathic" Scoliosis, which is the most common form, there is also Congenital, Neuromuscular, Postural, and Syndromic.
Congenital Scoliosis just basically means that a person inherited the genes from one of their parents, and were born with it. It is caused by an abnormality of one or more vertebrae when they fail to form properly. This can be seen directly on the X Ray or in the operating room.
Neruormuscular Scoliosis is usually a symptom of another disease which is usually more serious, such as Cerebal Palsey.
Syndromic Scoliosis is more rare and affects people with Marfan's syndrome, which is a genetic disorder of the connective tissue, or Achondoplasia, a syndrome that involves disorder of the bone growth, which is often linked to dwarfism.
Postural Scoliosis is also known as "hysterical Scoliosis" is often the result of a patient trying to recover from pain and so a patient tilts to relieve it. This is a form of the disorder that is temporary and curable. Usually when the pain subsides the Postural Scoliosis dissapears, and is never discernible via XRAy.
Remedies
A doctor in New Zealand by the name of Hans Rudolf Weiss has written about ways of managing and prevention of scoliosis through his physiotherapy rehabilitation program, which I intend to impliment on myself. In terms of prevention, he recommends that children and younger teens do squats, preferably what is known as the "Asian Toilet Squat." He presumes that this could cut down on Scoliosis 7 fold. This is an exercise that performs "pelvic leveling." Odd but true, the countries such as China and Japan, where people have to squat very low for the toilet, there is 7 times lower cases of scoliosis.
It has also been proven that The Alexander Technique has been effective for improving, yet not fully curing scoliosis. Hopefully in conjunction with with medical care, the Alexander Technique gives patients tools to manage and increase the length and balance of postural methods. This in turn relieves compression on discs, nerves and joints throughout the body. Think of a muscle like a rubber band, which can change it’s length and tension. While muscles can habitually shorten and pull asymmetrically on the skeleton, it is possible to educate the muscles to lengthen and thus reduce those pulls on the body. With partial fusion, there is still movement in other areas of the spine, and maximum lengthening can help reduce pain and improve alignment. With a total fusion, the concepts of good use can reduce tension which can cause pain - and increase ease of movement through other joints in the body.
List of Resources
Pilates-pro.com
Getbodysmart.com
Mayoclinic.com
Easyvigour.net.nz
The Progression of Idiopathic Scoliosis under the influence of a Physiotherapy Rehabilitation Program
By Hans Rudolf Weiss
Healthcentral.com
Orthop.washington.edu
Introduction to the three dimensional Scoliosis treatement according to Schroth by Christa Lehnert-Schroth
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
He believes that he's living in a friendly world
so it's a friendly world
She believes she's living in a cat fight
oh my baby girl
what kind of world do you want to live in
is it one where you need to be forgiven
in order to feel like you've forgotten
different people different realities
open your eyes you'll see what i mean
while you're living it up
someone is scrounging it down
how do you feel free
how do you feel free
tell me now
tell me how
you've learned to live inside a world that never frowns
while i'm having trouble just getting from day to day
in a world that suffers from decay
different people
in different realities
maybe i can learn from you just how to break free, maybe i can learn from you?
so it's a friendly world
She believes she's living in a cat fight
oh my baby girl
what kind of world do you want to live in
is it one where you need to be forgiven
in order to feel like you've forgotten
different people different realities
open your eyes you'll see what i mean
while you're living it up
someone is scrounging it down
how do you feel free
how do you feel free
tell me now
tell me how
you've learned to live inside a world that never frowns
while i'm having trouble just getting from day to day
in a world that suffers from decay
different people
in different realities
maybe i can learn from you just how to break free, maybe i can learn from you?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
a Rock n Roll Espionage
absurdist Tale
One More cup of coffee
By Redub Sargent Gary Friday finished his first cup of coffee as he waited to board the plane to Cusco. From Lima it would be a rapid flight, a little over an hour. From there it was a puddle jumper to Puerto Maldonado. How they were going to get from there to a cabin in the middle of the jungle was anyone’s guess.
Gary Friday had done this trip dozens of times before.
He had his international certificate of vaccination ready next to his passport just in case. Usually he carried his Samsonite Delegate trusty briefcase but opted instead for a handicraft wool shoulder bag that he had bought at one of the souvenir shops near Macchu Pichu on his last visit. His job entailed that he either had to dress up or dress down, depending on the locale of his work. In this situation he wore blue jeans and black new balance running shoes, and a plain off white all cotton button down shirt that he got in Kathmandu. He noticed that dressing down took about the same amount of time as dressing up. Either way he felt like an actor preparing for a role. But this time would be different because of the costar: Juan Santiago the medicine man.
That was who Gary was expecting to meet up with. The man was an enigma. He had succeeded in eluding himself from any authorities of the western world who emitted any sort of vibe that had to do with greed. That is why Gary was the chosen one. Because he possessed virtues that nobody else on the team had. Well, at least not in the amounts that he did. Namely, integrity.
Gary believed that without integrity life couldn't work. He had experimented on himself in his own life. Breaking his own moral codes periodically just to see what would happen, as if he could measure hypothesis after hypothesis through witnessing what worked and what didn't. This next project was not settling easily in his brain. Hadn’t he already earned his stripes in his 25 years of active duty? What exactly did they want him to find out about this old medicine man? That's what confused him more then anything. Try as he may he had a hard time coming to terms with the ambiguity of the duty set before him. He would be recording every nuance, all conversations, and going over it with a fine tooth comb. He made a vow to himself that after retirement, he would go back on to this land without any electrical devices on his person. But for now, he had a job to do. Finishing the thick tar like coffee that he had bought on the side of the road 30 minutes earlier, he tossed the cup into the small trash can and boarded the plane. He knew that drinking the coffee wasn't the wisest idea. It probably would have been more advantageous for him to skip the caffeine and sleep on the short flight. But the caffeine had become part of his ritual. Not an addiction as much as a comfort. He leaned back into his chair and thought about his children. They weren't children any more. His youngest was in his 20s, already a force in the rock and roll world to be reckoned with. It was surreal the heights to which he had achieved so at so young an age. He was proud of his son but they maintained an ambivalent relationship. There was respect, but too much pride on both sides to really bond. and where was the time? 'Maybe after I retire,' he thought to himself,' I'll see them more.'
The flight was over before it began, and Juan Santiago met Gary Friday right as he was coming off of the plane. The medicine man nodded at him unceremoniously and motioned for Gary to follow him. Usually in the past, his hosts had been much warmer to him. What was happening here? Now Gary began to wonder how they were going to be getting to the cabin, which was supposedly about 25 miles away. “Do I have to change out my money so I can pay for a cab?” The medicine man grunted softly and shook his head. Gary figured maybe they were going to take motorcycles. He had done that before, several years back, when he was much younger. He was shocked at the callousness and disregard of his almost senior citizen status. Of course at the time, he scarcely considered the fact that Juan was just about the same age as he was, give or take a year or two.
To the north of the airport was a dirt road that stretched out towards the mountains. The sun was at an apex and was beginning to beat down on them. “So we gonna jump on some motorcycles or what?’ asked Gary. “We walk,” grumbled Juan incredulously. “Time to cleanse out the toxic poisons you have been building up. Only one way to do that: sweat.” Seargent Friday stopped dead in his tracks. “Wait just a minute now, sir. Hiking a marathon through Peruvian wild lands is not in my job description.” Juan Santiago held a finger to his lips. ‘Silencio- silence.” “I know what the hell silencio means. I’m fluent in spanish, along with six other languages in case they haven’t told you.”
Sargent Friday was glad he had brought plenty of water and packed lightly. But he still felt indignified over this long walk. “The hell do they think I am?” He thought to himself. His thoughts were bursting with anger, like screams of injustice taking over his whole body. “after nearly 3 decades of service this is what they give me? I thought I was in for some kind of transformational journey. Instead they give me some gap toothed lunatic. The head case in charge of the asylum.”
The medicine man interrupted his thoughts. “You’re murdering me with your thinking, aren’t you? Start to breath your hatred out like this.” He began breathing slowly and very loudly, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. Then he covered one nostril with his index finger and proceeded with the exercise, eventually switching nostrils. He noticed that Sargent Friday was not following the rules. “So I suppose you already have the rules figured out. You don’t need to learn from me, or anyone else for that matter. No wonder you look so confused.” With that, Gary put his finger over his mouth and said, ‘Shhhh, silencio.” Then, “see, I listen better then you thought, DON’T I?
The medicine man didn't speak for a while. Neither did Gary Friday. In different circumstances, he would have been entranced by the beauty of this region. But this project was not off to a productive start. Besides feeling oppressed by his host, he felt bitter about the progressive americanization of a country he had once loved escaping to. It was more convenient now. There were trains up to tourist sights that used to be attainable by hard core trekking or uneasy bus trips. He even noticed that his old favorite Cafe in Cusco, ayullo de cusco, had been replaced by Starbucks. Was it selfish of him to want a place to escape to? He wondered what the medicine man thought about it. ‘Maybe he’s taking his anger out on me,’ he thought to himself.
Several minutes went by and there was a continual hush.The medicine man kept walking in silence. He let Gary think. The only thing that could be heard were footsteps and labored breathing. Then a few minutes later he spoke again.
'Thing is, your people have finally come as far as they can with machines. Yet it solved nothing. So now, more people then ever are coming for the resources that lie in two places.' He put his right hand over his heart, and then covered his head with his left. 'You can have all the money in the world, but if you haven't learned the ways of the heart, the ways of the mind, you are more poor then the poorest beggar in lima.'
Gary nodded his head in agreement. 'I hear what you are saying. I apologize for the ignorance of my people. But I can only apologize so much.'
Juan continued. 'I learned the ways of the world. Your people put me through their schools. Some considered me a techno shaman. Because I am adept at both worlds. The ancient and the modern. Both have not eluded me. There are things I may choose to show you that will make you stronger. But I do not trust you yet. I had a friend from the west who taught me the phrase, 'respect is earned.' He did not earn it from me. Nor have you. I will teach you somethings. But I will pull away if I feel trust wanting.'
Gary felt a knot of disapointment churning in his stomach. 'Did we not have the agreement to complete initiation? The mimosahuasca ritual? Did you forget your promise?'
Juan stomped a foot into the ground. 'I said in good faith. This is what I told your masters. You do not want this experience without working for it first. It is up to you whether you will count the cost, and finish what you've started.'
Gary was livid internally but was not about to argue with Juan. He would save his anger for a telephone call to his superiors. He was beginning to hate this so called medicine man. What had he done to earn his derision? He had already renounced his old ways of materialism. Now he was risking his life to go out into the jungle with whom he was now past beginning to consider a half wit. He was not about to apologize for being reared in a callous culture- he had worked too hard to overcome the mistakes of his own people.
'Don't be a hypocrite. If you want me to respect where you came from you should respect what I've gone through to understand you, and to make reparations-'
'No more talking.'
'Excuse me?'
With that, Juan pointed the opposite direction from where they were walking, to where the sun was beginning to set. 'GO BaCK NOW,' he firmly said.
'Go What?' He stammered, slightly shocked.
'Go back to your land. This was a big misdeed on my part. I thought we had a better comprensivo. I thought you were further advanced on the true path.'
Gary crossed his arms. They both stood their ground for a moment, staring into each other's weather beaten faces. The fierce eye contact these men made with each other was strong, neither one giving over to yielding. Without breaking focus, Juan touched his shoulder, and said, 'if you come, no more speaking until morning.'
Gary was even more livid but kept his composure. He had no choice at this point. There was a continually silent hush between Gary and the medicine man.Gary was lost in his angry thoughts. Somebody back home was in trouble for putting his ass on the line like this. Then the medicine man stopped in front of a small patch of nicandra physalodes, or 'apple of peru' flowers. He sniffed one of them. Then he looked up at Gary.
'Your people have created a lot of change for us,' he said, as if reading Gary's mind. Gary nodded silently. He had nothing to add. He just wanted to listen to this man, trying desperately as possible to control his temper. 'When I was a young man, your people began to come here seeking wisdom. Some of them found what they were looking for, and some of them didn't.' He paused for a second, and gazed across the mountains. 'There has been damage done. But only a certain amount of damage. Our people will persevere. These mountains, too, will survive. I’m not certain I can say the same of your people. Unless they are truly willing to change.”
Puerto maldonado had been beautiful but Gary no longer noticed the beauty. He had not been in a 'wild card' situation for over a decade. He had been used to everything in it's right place, with a certain order. His job had never been easy, but he was able to have complete control for the most part. He had never dealt with anyone like Juan before, and there had never been a problem with communication with anybody else on his peruvian journeys. Suddenly promises were being broken. Or had they been? Whose promises? after all, Juan had not directly given him his word about the ritual. Had there been a miscommunication between his superiors, himself, and the third party? Had he been lied to by his superiors? Or had Juan lied to him? There really was no way to know. He felt, for the first time in years, in over his head. He felt too old for this, and all of the sudden wished he hadn't taken the assignment. But at the same time, he felt lost. The last time he felt this lost was as a teenager. The memories began to flood his mind.
They got to their destination and Gary Friday was famished and too tired to think straight. The luxury of the place surprised him as he had expected less. He would have been happier with less comfort but also less surprises. Juan showed him to his cot, which was delicately decorated with blankets intricately woven into bright colors.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed. Then he sreThey got to their destination and Gary Friday was famished and too tired to think straight. The luxury of the place surprised him as he had expected less. He would have been happier with less comfort but also less surprises. Juan showed him to his cot, which was delicately decorated with blankets intricately woven into bright colors.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed. Then he screamed.
'Debon, what the HELL are you doing sending me out to this kangaroo court in the jungle?' He tried his best to lower his voice but was bursting at the seams. The veins in his neck all but popped off. 'Everything I do is dictated to me. I can't take a piss without permission- i feel like i'm back in prep school.'
'Do you choose to abort your mission?'
'No. But I have never been thrown out to the goddamn wolves like this. How could you do this? I'm not 25 years old any more goddamn it.'
'Come on Friday. You knew you were in for a challenge. How can you tell me that we didn't educate you about the unpredictability of this tour?'
'You always say it's unpredictable. But you never told me I'd be with an SS general in medicine man makeup. I feel deceived.'
'You don't have to do anything you don't want to.'
'I'm going to give it one more day. If it gets much worse i'm hitching the next flight back.' He closed his phone, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Opening the door, Juan was standing at the other side. He glared into his eyes.
'You cannot trust me, then I cannot trust you,' Juan said to him. He genuinely looked hurt.
'Were you listening to me?'
'Stop talking and follow me. We are completing phase one of the mission. This will take about 77 minutes. Upon completion you may drink 2 cups of water if necessary.'
Gary was about to snidely, sarcastically thank him - but he bit his toungue. Truth be told, he knew the old codger knew what he was doing. He just didn't like to be told what to do so sternly, especially by someone who was around the same age, and as much as he would never admit it, not formally educated in the way he was.
'You are a poised egoist, ' said Juan. 'You make a show to the world. You want to be a bigshot, a big humanitarian with books in libraries. Big star. You will never know anything until you become humble as the dust.'
'Oh is that so?'
'Yes.'
'and so now, you're trying to break me down. Right?' He got loud. 'Trying to crush the large yet fragile ego of a white man. Well, you're doing a good job.'
They walked over to a side office that had a desk and a couch. Near the couch was a coffee table. Juan sat down at his desk and had Gary sit down on the couch. He slumped down, and noticed a black box with small controls on it. The box had no power source, but was connected via copper wire to a chrome plated piece of metal the size of a clipboard. He touched the knobs on the panel of the box. There were four knobs. Juan said nothing. In the right hand corner of the box there was a metal control switch. He began clicking it up and down, trying to figure out what it was.
'What is this piece of junk?' He said, looking up at Juan. Juan pulled out a notepad and began scribbling in it. 'This makes no sense.' He flipped it over to check for batteries or any alternate power source he could find. 'How do you plug this in, and what is it for? I mean for godsakes, at least a solar panel, something.'
'Please continue to play with the knobs. But as you do, visualize yourself floating into the sky. Close your eyes, please.'
Now he was certain he was being duped. Never had he seen what he would label as such absurd pseudo science. and his mind was opened to possibilities. But he would not be taken for a fool. 'What the HECK are you talking to me about? are you trying to make me play the role of the idiot?'
"I am an idiot, we all are-idiots. Now do as I say.' Gary Friday closed his eyes.
He decided to use this opportunity to rest. If he wasn't going to have his expectations met, he just wouldn't play ball. He figured he would pretend to, but his mind would be elsewhere. But the game just seemed to get stranger and stranger. Juan pulled out a medal helmet from under his desk. It had copper wires attached to it. Gary kept his eyes glued shut.
'Keep your eyes just like that,' coaxed Juan. He got up and put the helmet on Gavin's skull. Then he pulled out the copper wires and ducktaped them to the chrome plate on the coffee table, that was also attached to the black box. Then he went and sat back down at his desk. 'Think of somebody you love very much,' he said matter of factly. Gary's posture softened. He almost thought of his ex wife. Even though they had been divorced five years he still had a soft spot in his heart for her. 'Now think of who you love the most.' Gary hated to play favorites with his kids. But he chose Robert to concentrate on. He thought about the last time he saw him, having lunch with him at an elegant restaurant in santa monica. 'Have you got a photograph of this person?'
Gary had become compliant. He pulled out a black and white print of his son that he had in his wallet. It was actually a band photo of jawtojaw. He had ripped it out of a magazine. 'Please place it on the chrome tray.' Juan decided to match Gary's newfound complacency with courtesy. It seemed to be working.
The picture at this point was absurd. Officer Gary Friday was sitting in a cabin in the jungle of peru, a mad medicine man placing a helmet on his head that was connected to a black box and chrome tray with no power supply. But Gary's resistance had been overcome. He drifted into flashbacks. The terrible times he had in his youth. They had prepared him for his rough career but that didn't mean he wanted to revisit old memories. Who was controlling him like this? Was the fake black box connected to nothing but a helmet on his head and a chrome plate actually working?
Juan began to stroke his chin and psychically give himself a pat on the back for hard work done. It hadn't been easy to subjugate this brainwashed egomaniac. But this medicine man was determined to change the world, by changing one asshole at a time.
"My Dad was an asshole," said Sargent Friday.
"What is your people's expression?" Lamented Juan, "The papaya doesn't fall far from the tree?"
His father had been a hard boiled SOB. Sent him off to military prep school at the age of fourteen. It was fine with him at the time. He could go through the motions and draw on his own time. His dream job had been to become an architect. He planned to persue this as soon as it was time for college. But as some have said before, 'life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.' He never dreamed of what could happen next.
absurdist Tale
One More cup of coffee
By Redub Sargent Gary Friday finished his first cup of coffee as he waited to board the plane to Cusco. From Lima it would be a rapid flight, a little over an hour. From there it was a puddle jumper to Puerto Maldonado. How they were going to get from there to a cabin in the middle of the jungle was anyone’s guess.
Gary Friday had done this trip dozens of times before.
He had his international certificate of vaccination ready next to his passport just in case. Usually he carried his Samsonite Delegate trusty briefcase but opted instead for a handicraft wool shoulder bag that he had bought at one of the souvenir shops near Macchu Pichu on his last visit. His job entailed that he either had to dress up or dress down, depending on the locale of his work. In this situation he wore blue jeans and black new balance running shoes, and a plain off white all cotton button down shirt that he got in Kathmandu. He noticed that dressing down took about the same amount of time as dressing up. Either way he felt like an actor preparing for a role. But this time would be different because of the costar: Juan Santiago the medicine man.
That was who Gary was expecting to meet up with. The man was an enigma. He had succeeded in eluding himself from any authorities of the western world who emitted any sort of vibe that had to do with greed. That is why Gary was the chosen one. Because he possessed virtues that nobody else on the team had. Well, at least not in the amounts that he did. Namely, integrity.
Gary believed that without integrity life couldn't work. He had experimented on himself in his own life. Breaking his own moral codes periodically just to see what would happen, as if he could measure hypothesis after hypothesis through witnessing what worked and what didn't. This next project was not settling easily in his brain. Hadn’t he already earned his stripes in his 25 years of active duty? What exactly did they want him to find out about this old medicine man? That's what confused him more then anything. Try as he may he had a hard time coming to terms with the ambiguity of the duty set before him. He would be recording every nuance, all conversations, and going over it with a fine tooth comb. He made a vow to himself that after retirement, he would go back on to this land without any electrical devices on his person. But for now, he had a job to do. Finishing the thick tar like coffee that he had bought on the side of the road 30 minutes earlier, he tossed the cup into the small trash can and boarded the plane. He knew that drinking the coffee wasn't the wisest idea. It probably would have been more advantageous for him to skip the caffeine and sleep on the short flight. But the caffeine had become part of his ritual. Not an addiction as much as a comfort. He leaned back into his chair and thought about his children. They weren't children any more. His youngest was in his 20s, already a force in the rock and roll world to be reckoned with. It was surreal the heights to which he had achieved so at so young an age. He was proud of his son but they maintained an ambivalent relationship. There was respect, but too much pride on both sides to really bond. and where was the time? 'Maybe after I retire,' he thought to himself,' I'll see them more.'
The flight was over before it began, and Juan Santiago met Gary Friday right as he was coming off of the plane. The medicine man nodded at him unceremoniously and motioned for Gary to follow him. Usually in the past, his hosts had been much warmer to him. What was happening here? Now Gary began to wonder how they were going to be getting to the cabin, which was supposedly about 25 miles away. “Do I have to change out my money so I can pay for a cab?” The medicine man grunted softly and shook his head. Gary figured maybe they were going to take motorcycles. He had done that before, several years back, when he was much younger. He was shocked at the callousness and disregard of his almost senior citizen status. Of course at the time, he scarcely considered the fact that Juan was just about the same age as he was, give or take a year or two.
To the north of the airport was a dirt road that stretched out towards the mountains. The sun was at an apex and was beginning to beat down on them. “So we gonna jump on some motorcycles or what?’ asked Gary. “We walk,” grumbled Juan incredulously. “Time to cleanse out the toxic poisons you have been building up. Only one way to do that: sweat.” Seargent Friday stopped dead in his tracks. “Wait just a minute now, sir. Hiking a marathon through Peruvian wild lands is not in my job description.” Juan Santiago held a finger to his lips. ‘Silencio- silence.” “I know what the hell silencio means. I’m fluent in spanish, along with six other languages in case they haven’t told you.”
Sargent Friday was glad he had brought plenty of water and packed lightly. But he still felt indignified over this long walk. “The hell do they think I am?” He thought to himself. His thoughts were bursting with anger, like screams of injustice taking over his whole body. “after nearly 3 decades of service this is what they give me? I thought I was in for some kind of transformational journey. Instead they give me some gap toothed lunatic. The head case in charge of the asylum.”
The medicine man interrupted his thoughts. “You’re murdering me with your thinking, aren’t you? Start to breath your hatred out like this.” He began breathing slowly and very loudly, inhaling through his nose and exhaling through his mouth. Then he covered one nostril with his index finger and proceeded with the exercise, eventually switching nostrils. He noticed that Sargent Friday was not following the rules. “So I suppose you already have the rules figured out. You don’t need to learn from me, or anyone else for that matter. No wonder you look so confused.” With that, Gary put his finger over his mouth and said, ‘Shhhh, silencio.” Then, “see, I listen better then you thought, DON’T I?
The medicine man didn't speak for a while. Neither did Gary Friday. In different circumstances, he would have been entranced by the beauty of this region. But this project was not off to a productive start. Besides feeling oppressed by his host, he felt bitter about the progressive americanization of a country he had once loved escaping to. It was more convenient now. There were trains up to tourist sights that used to be attainable by hard core trekking or uneasy bus trips. He even noticed that his old favorite Cafe in Cusco, ayullo de cusco, had been replaced by Starbucks. Was it selfish of him to want a place to escape to? He wondered what the medicine man thought about it. ‘Maybe he’s taking his anger out on me,’ he thought to himself.
Several minutes went by and there was a continual hush.The medicine man kept walking in silence. He let Gary think. The only thing that could be heard were footsteps and labored breathing. Then a few minutes later he spoke again.
'Thing is, your people have finally come as far as they can with machines. Yet it solved nothing. So now, more people then ever are coming for the resources that lie in two places.' He put his right hand over his heart, and then covered his head with his left. 'You can have all the money in the world, but if you haven't learned the ways of the heart, the ways of the mind, you are more poor then the poorest beggar in lima.'
Gary nodded his head in agreement. 'I hear what you are saying. I apologize for the ignorance of my people. But I can only apologize so much.'
Juan continued. 'I learned the ways of the world. Your people put me through their schools. Some considered me a techno shaman. Because I am adept at both worlds. The ancient and the modern. Both have not eluded me. There are things I may choose to show you that will make you stronger. But I do not trust you yet. I had a friend from the west who taught me the phrase, 'respect is earned.' He did not earn it from me. Nor have you. I will teach you somethings. But I will pull away if I feel trust wanting.'
Gary felt a knot of disapointment churning in his stomach. 'Did we not have the agreement to complete initiation? The mimosahuasca ritual? Did you forget your promise?'
Juan stomped a foot into the ground. 'I said in good faith. This is what I told your masters. You do not want this experience without working for it first. It is up to you whether you will count the cost, and finish what you've started.'
Gary was livid internally but was not about to argue with Juan. He would save his anger for a telephone call to his superiors. He was beginning to hate this so called medicine man. What had he done to earn his derision? He had already renounced his old ways of materialism. Now he was risking his life to go out into the jungle with whom he was now past beginning to consider a half wit. He was not about to apologize for being reared in a callous culture- he had worked too hard to overcome the mistakes of his own people.
'Don't be a hypocrite. If you want me to respect where you came from you should respect what I've gone through to understand you, and to make reparations-'
'No more talking.'
'Excuse me?'
With that, Juan pointed the opposite direction from where they were walking, to where the sun was beginning to set. 'GO BaCK NOW,' he firmly said.
'Go What?' He stammered, slightly shocked.
'Go back to your land. This was a big misdeed on my part. I thought we had a better comprensivo. I thought you were further advanced on the true path.'
Gary crossed his arms. They both stood their ground for a moment, staring into each other's weather beaten faces. The fierce eye contact these men made with each other was strong, neither one giving over to yielding. Without breaking focus, Juan touched his shoulder, and said, 'if you come, no more speaking until morning.'
Gary was even more livid but kept his composure. He had no choice at this point. There was a continually silent hush between Gary and the medicine man.Gary was lost in his angry thoughts. Somebody back home was in trouble for putting his ass on the line like this. Then the medicine man stopped in front of a small patch of nicandra physalodes, or 'apple of peru' flowers. He sniffed one of them. Then he looked up at Gary.
'Your people have created a lot of change for us,' he said, as if reading Gary's mind. Gary nodded silently. He had nothing to add. He just wanted to listen to this man, trying desperately as possible to control his temper. 'When I was a young man, your people began to come here seeking wisdom. Some of them found what they were looking for, and some of them didn't.' He paused for a second, and gazed across the mountains. 'There has been damage done. But only a certain amount of damage. Our people will persevere. These mountains, too, will survive. I’m not certain I can say the same of your people. Unless they are truly willing to change.”
Puerto maldonado had been beautiful but Gary no longer noticed the beauty. He had not been in a 'wild card' situation for over a decade. He had been used to everything in it's right place, with a certain order. His job had never been easy, but he was able to have complete control for the most part. He had never dealt with anyone like Juan before, and there had never been a problem with communication with anybody else on his peruvian journeys. Suddenly promises were being broken. Or had they been? Whose promises? after all, Juan had not directly given him his word about the ritual. Had there been a miscommunication between his superiors, himself, and the third party? Had he been lied to by his superiors? Or had Juan lied to him? There really was no way to know. He felt, for the first time in years, in over his head. He felt too old for this, and all of the sudden wished he hadn't taken the assignment. But at the same time, he felt lost. The last time he felt this lost was as a teenager. The memories began to flood his mind.
They got to their destination and Gary Friday was famished and too tired to think straight. The luxury of the place surprised him as he had expected less. He would have been happier with less comfort but also less surprises. Juan showed him to his cot, which was delicately decorated with blankets intricately woven into bright colors.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed. Then he sreThey got to their destination and Gary Friday was famished and too tired to think straight. The luxury of the place surprised him as he had expected less. He would have been happier with less comfort but also less surprises. Juan showed him to his cot, which was delicately decorated with blankets intricately woven into bright colors.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed. Then he screamed.
'Debon, what the HELL are you doing sending me out to this kangaroo court in the jungle?' He tried his best to lower his voice but was bursting at the seams. The veins in his neck all but popped off. 'Everything I do is dictated to me. I can't take a piss without permission- i feel like i'm back in prep school.'
'Do you choose to abort your mission?'
'No. But I have never been thrown out to the goddamn wolves like this. How could you do this? I'm not 25 years old any more goddamn it.'
'Come on Friday. You knew you were in for a challenge. How can you tell me that we didn't educate you about the unpredictability of this tour?'
'You always say it's unpredictable. But you never told me I'd be with an SS general in medicine man makeup. I feel deceived.'
'You don't have to do anything you don't want to.'
'I'm going to give it one more day. If it gets much worse i'm hitching the next flight back.' He closed his phone, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Opening the door, Juan was standing at the other side. He glared into his eyes.
'You cannot trust me, then I cannot trust you,' Juan said to him. He genuinely looked hurt.
'Were you listening to me?'
'Stop talking and follow me. We are completing phase one of the mission. This will take about 77 minutes. Upon completion you may drink 2 cups of water if necessary.'
Gary was about to snidely, sarcastically thank him - but he bit his toungue. Truth be told, he knew the old codger knew what he was doing. He just didn't like to be told what to do so sternly, especially by someone who was around the same age, and as much as he would never admit it, not formally educated in the way he was.
'You are a poised egoist, ' said Juan. 'You make a show to the world. You want to be a bigshot, a big humanitarian with books in libraries. Big star. You will never know anything until you become humble as the dust.'
'Oh is that so?'
'Yes.'
'and so now, you're trying to break me down. Right?' He got loud. 'Trying to crush the large yet fragile ego of a white man. Well, you're doing a good job.'
They walked over to a side office that had a desk and a couch. Near the couch was a coffee table. Juan sat down at his desk and had Gary sit down on the couch. He slumped down, and noticed a black box with small controls on it. The box had no power source, but was connected via copper wire to a chrome plated piece of metal the size of a clipboard. He touched the knobs on the panel of the box. There were four knobs. Juan said nothing. In the right hand corner of the box there was a metal control switch. He began clicking it up and down, trying to figure out what it was.
'What is this piece of junk?' He said, looking up at Juan. Juan pulled out a notepad and began scribbling in it. 'This makes no sense.' He flipped it over to check for batteries or any alternate power source he could find. 'How do you plug this in, and what is it for? I mean for godsakes, at least a solar panel, something.'
'Please continue to play with the knobs. But as you do, visualize yourself floating into the sky. Close your eyes, please.'
Now he was certain he was being duped. Never had he seen what he would label as such absurd pseudo science. and his mind was opened to possibilities. But he would not be taken for a fool. 'What the HECK are you talking to me about? are you trying to make me play the role of the idiot?'
"I am an idiot, we all are-idiots. Now do as I say.' Gary Friday closed his eyes.
He decided to use this opportunity to rest. If he wasn't going to have his expectations met, he just wouldn't play ball. He figured he would pretend to, but his mind would be elsewhere. But the game just seemed to get stranger and stranger. Juan pulled out a medal helmet from under his desk. It had copper wires attached to it. Gary kept his eyes glued shut.
'Keep your eyes just like that,' coaxed Juan. He got up and put the helmet on Gavin's skull. Then he pulled out the copper wires and ducktaped them to the chrome plate on the coffee table, that was also attached to the black box. Then he went and sat back down at his desk. 'Think of somebody you love very much,' he said matter of factly. Gary's posture softened. He almost thought of his ex wife. Even though they had been divorced five years he still had a soft spot in his heart for her. 'Now think of who you love the most.' Gary hated to play favorites with his kids. But he chose Robert to concentrate on. He thought about the last time he saw him, having lunch with him at an elegant restaurant in santa monica. 'Have you got a photograph of this person?'
Gary had become compliant. He pulled out a black and white print of his son that he had in his wallet. It was actually a band photo of jawtojaw. He had ripped it out of a magazine. 'Please place it on the chrome tray.' Juan decided to match Gary's newfound complacency with courtesy. It seemed to be working.
The picture at this point was absurd. Officer Gary Friday was sitting in a cabin in the jungle of peru, a mad medicine man placing a helmet on his head that was connected to a black box and chrome tray with no power supply. But Gary's resistance had been overcome. He drifted into flashbacks. The terrible times he had in his youth. They had prepared him for his rough career but that didn't mean he wanted to revisit old memories. Who was controlling him like this? Was the fake black box connected to nothing but a helmet on his head and a chrome plate actually working?
Juan began to stroke his chin and psychically give himself a pat on the back for hard work done. It hadn't been easy to subjugate this brainwashed egomaniac. But this medicine man was determined to change the world, by changing one asshole at a time.
"My Dad was an asshole," said Sargent Friday.
"What is your people's expression?" Lamented Juan, "The papaya doesn't fall far from the tree?"
His father had been a hard boiled SOB. Sent him off to military prep school at the age of fourteen. It was fine with him at the time. He could go through the motions and draw on his own time. His dream job had been to become an architect. He planned to persue this as soon as it was time for college. But as some have said before, 'life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.' He never dreamed of what could happen next.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
whiterabbit
Gary Friday decided to use this opportunity to rest. If he wasn't going to have his expectations met, he just wouldn't play ball. He figured he would pretend to, but his mind would be elsewhere. But the game just seemed to get stranger and stranger. Juan pulled out a medal helmet from under his desk. It had copper wires attached to it. Gary kept his eyes glued shut.
'Keep your eyes just like that,' coaxed Juan. He got up and put the helmet on Gavin's skull. Then he pulled out the copper wires and ducktaped them to the chrome plate on the coffee table, that was also attached to the black box. Then he went and sat back down at his desk. 'Think of somebody you love very much,' he said matter of factly. Gary's posture softened. He almost thought of his ex wife. Even though they had been divorced five years he still had a soft spot in his heart for her. 'Now think of who you love the most.' Gary hated to play favorites with his kids. But he chose Robert to concentrate on. He thought about the last time he saw him, having lunch with him at an elegant restaurant in santa monica. 'Have you got a photograph of this person?'
Gary had become compliant. He pulled out a black and white print of his son that he had in his wallet. It was actually a band photo of jawtojaw. He had ripped it out of a magazine. 'Please place it on the chrome tray.' Juan decided to match Gary's newfound complacency with courtesy. It seemed to be working.
The picture at this point was absurd. Officer Gary Friday was sitting in a cabin in the jungle of peru, a mad medicine man placing a helmet on his head that was connected to a black box and chrome tray with no power supply. But Gary's resistance had been overcome.
'Keep your eyes just like that,' coaxed Juan. He got up and put the helmet on Gavin's skull. Then he pulled out the copper wires and ducktaped them to the chrome plate on the coffee table, that was also attached to the black box. Then he went and sat back down at his desk. 'Think of somebody you love very much,' he said matter of factly. Gary's posture softened. He almost thought of his ex wife. Even though they had been divorced five years he still had a soft spot in his heart for her. 'Now think of who you love the most.' Gary hated to play favorites with his kids. But he chose Robert to concentrate on. He thought about the last time he saw him, having lunch with him at an elegant restaurant in santa monica. 'Have you got a photograph of this person?'
Gary had become compliant. He pulled out a black and white print of his son that he had in his wallet. It was actually a band photo of jawtojaw. He had ripped it out of a magazine. 'Please place it on the chrome tray.' Juan decided to match Gary's newfound complacency with courtesy. It seemed to be working.
The picture at this point was absurd. Officer Gary Friday was sitting in a cabin in the jungle of peru, a mad medicine man placing a helmet on his head that was connected to a black box and chrome tray with no power supply. But Gary's resistance had been overcome.
skweexebox
They got to their destination and Gary Friday was famished and too tired to think straight. The luxury of the place surprised him as he had expected less. He would have been happier with less comfort but also less surprises. Juan showed him to his cot, which was delicately decorated with blankets intricately woven into bright colors.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed.
'Debon, what the HELL are you doing sending me out to this kangaroo court in the jungle?' He tried his best to lower his voice but was bursting at the seams. The veins in his neck all but popped off. 'Everything I do is dictated to me. I can't take a piss without permission- i feel like i'm back in prep school.'
'Do you choose to abort your mission?'
'No. But I have never been thrown out to the goddamn wolves like this. How could you do this? I'm not 25 years old any more goddamn it.'
'Come on Friday. You knew you were in for a challenge. How can you tell me that we didn't educate you about the unpredictability of this tour?'
'You always say it's unpredictable. But you never told me I'd be with an SS general in medicine man makeup. I feel deceived.'
'You don't have to do anything you don't want to.'
'I'm going to give it one more day. If it gets much worse i'm hitching the next flight back.' He closed his phone, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Opening the door, Juan was standing at the other side. He glared into his eyes.
'You cannot trust me, then I cannot trust you,' Juan said to him. He genuinely looked hurt.
'Were you listening to me?'
'Stop talking and follow me. We are completing phase one of the mission. This will take about 77 minutes. Upon completion you may drink 2 cups of water if necessary.'
Gary was about to snidely, sarcastically thank him - but he bit his toungue. Truth be told, he knew the old codger knew what he was doing. He just didn't like to be told what to do so sternly, especially by someone who was around the same age, and as much as he would never admit it, not formally educated in the way he was.
'You are a poised egoist, ' said Juan. 'You make a show to the world. You want to be a bigshot, a big humanitarian with books in libraries. Big star. You will never know anything until you become humble as the dust.'
'Oh is that so?'
'Yes.'
'and so now, you're trying to break me down. Right?' He got loud. 'Trying to crush the large yet fragile ego of a white man. Well, you're doing a good job.'
They walked over to a side office that had a desk and a couch. Near the couch was a coffee table. Juan sat down at his desk and had Gary sit down on the couch. He slumped down, and noticed a black box with small controls on it. The box had no power source, but was connected via copper wire to a chrome plated piece of metal the size of a clipboard. He touched the knobs on the panel of the box. There were four knobs. Juan said nothing. In the right hand corner of the box there was a metal control switch. He began clicking it up and down, trying to figure out what it was.
'What is this piece of junk?' He said, looking up at Juan. Juan pulled out a notepad and began scribbling in it. 'This makes no sense.' He flipped it over to check for batteries or any alternate power source he could find. 'How do you plug this in, and what is it for? I mean for godsakes, at least a solar panel, something.'
'Please continue to play with the knobs. But as you do, visualize yourself floating into the sky. Close your eyes, please.'
Now he was certain he was being duped. Never had he seen what he would label as such absurd pseudo science. and his mind was opened to possibilities. But he would not be taken for a fool. 'What the HECK are you talking to me about? are you trying to make me play the role of the idiot?'
"I am an idiot, we all are-idiots. Now do as I say.' Gary Friday closed his eyes.
'Sleep now. Do not say a word. You will eat in the morning.'
Gary did not want to argue, he just wanted to sleep. He fell down on his bed and kicked off his shoes. He soon fell into a dream. In his dreams, he kept being offered gifts that were already his. Gold was given to him that he had already possessed. Things that he had owned had been stolen. Material objects, money, things that he felt owed came back to him. He did not understand the dream.
He was awoken by Rosa, the guest worker. Gary did not know if the worker was somehow related to Juan. His daughter perhaps? She looked to be about twenty one. She placed a plate full of kinoa salad down on his night table, along with a fork and napkin. He sat up and thanked her. 'Muchas Gracias, senora.'
'Te nada. This is salad with kinoa,' she said. 'Kinoa is a grain that makes you very strong. Our pollos grow muy gordo off this.' She smiled. 'also onions, peppers, y radishes.'
Gary was no stranger to this type of food. He had radically altered his diet years ago and was used to this sort of fare. This was one other reason why he was chosen for the job. Most of the other guys on the team were meat and potatoes consumers. They did not care for what they described as bird food. He dug in voraciously, eating like a ravenous boar. 'Senora, no agua?' He said to Rosa, making the signal for drinking.
She shook her head no.
'ke? no comprende.'
Juan who had gone un-noticed was carving wood in the next room. His voice boomed.
'There will be no drinking for you until two hours has gone by after you are finished.' He paused. 'It is for reasons of digestion. Don't ask now - you will understand later.'
'What the h-?' he stopped himself. Now this was getting to be too much. Water deprivation? 'So you're feeding me like a fat chicken but no water?'
'The water will upset your digestion, ' juan blurted it out. This will affect your brain, your training, as everything is connected. But since you think you know it all, and cannot bring yourself to dismiss your pride, you may have a glass of water. Rosa, por favor-'
'No Rosa. Forget it.' He was not about to be manipulated into guilt for being thirsty of all things. He excused himself to use the bano. Only he didn't have to use the restroom. He locked the door, and sitting down on the toilet, pulled out his cellphone. He dialed.
'Debon, what the HELL are you doing sending me out to this kangaroo court in the jungle?' He tried his best to lower his voice but was bursting at the seams. The veins in his neck all but popped off. 'Everything I do is dictated to me. I can't take a piss without permission- i feel like i'm back in prep school.'
'Do you choose to abort your mission?'
'No. But I have never been thrown out to the goddamn wolves like this. How could you do this? I'm not 25 years old any more goddamn it.'
'Come on Friday. You knew you were in for a challenge. How can you tell me that we didn't educate you about the unpredictability of this tour?'
'You always say it's unpredictable. But you never told me I'd be with an SS general in medicine man makeup. I feel deceived.'
'You don't have to do anything you don't want to.'
'I'm going to give it one more day. If it gets much worse i'm hitching the next flight back.' He closed his phone, flushed the toilet and washed his hands. Opening the door, Juan was standing at the other side. He glared into his eyes.
'You cannot trust me, then I cannot trust you,' Juan said to him. He genuinely looked hurt.
'Were you listening to me?'
'Stop talking and follow me. We are completing phase one of the mission. This will take about 77 minutes. Upon completion you may drink 2 cups of water if necessary.'
Gary was about to snidely, sarcastically thank him - but he bit his toungue. Truth be told, he knew the old codger knew what he was doing. He just didn't like to be told what to do so sternly, especially by someone who was around the same age, and as much as he would never admit it, not formally educated in the way he was.
'You are a poised egoist, ' said Juan. 'You make a show to the world. You want to be a bigshot, a big humanitarian with books in libraries. Big star. You will never know anything until you become humble as the dust.'
'Oh is that so?'
'Yes.'
'and so now, you're trying to break me down. Right?' He got loud. 'Trying to crush the large yet fragile ego of a white man. Well, you're doing a good job.'
They walked over to a side office that had a desk and a couch. Near the couch was a coffee table. Juan sat down at his desk and had Gary sit down on the couch. He slumped down, and noticed a black box with small controls on it. The box had no power source, but was connected via copper wire to a chrome plated piece of metal the size of a clipboard. He touched the knobs on the panel of the box. There were four knobs. Juan said nothing. In the right hand corner of the box there was a metal control switch. He began clicking it up and down, trying to figure out what it was.
'What is this piece of junk?' He said, looking up at Juan. Juan pulled out a notepad and began scribbling in it. 'This makes no sense.' He flipped it over to check for batteries or any alternate power source he could find. 'How do you plug this in, and what is it for? I mean for godsakes, at least a solar panel, something.'
'Please continue to play with the knobs. But as you do, visualize yourself floating into the sky. Close your eyes, please.'
Now he was certain he was being duped. Never had he seen what he would label as such absurd pseudo science. and his mind was opened to possibilities. But he would not be taken for a fool. 'What the HECK are you talking to me about? are you trying to make me play the role of the idiot?'
"I am an idiot, we all are-idiots. Now do as I say.' Gary Friday closed his eyes.
you
are the salad, he's the cheeseburger
Robert gazed out of his window. That was a luxury he paid a bit extra for. Many rooms didn't have one. He saw the buildings that had been banks in the 20's and 30's, now being taken over by young renegades, artists who were beginning to move to downtown los angeles in droves. This part of the city had been desolate a decade earlier. Nobody wanted to move her then. Now at hip bars he was meeting USC students, new york city film makers, actors, you name it. But he was also paying under 800 dollars a month.
He drew the shades, sat down on the floor and shut his eyes. Beginning to gaze through the middle of his forehead, he became lost in a silent meditation. This simran, a group of 5 punjabi words had been given to him in india on his travels by a holy man in Julandar. He became lost in a trance- then the phone rang.
'You can't do this.' It was Jimbo Mcgee, his former band's manager. He cursed himself inwardly, knowing better then to just pick up the phone. 'You can't leave like this. You have a duty. I booked shows all through Europe, Japan. It's really a dick move on your part.'
'Listen,' Robert slowly and assertively interrupted him, 'You aren't going to string me along by the golden carrot any longer. They aren't easy to swallow. There was always some reason for me not to stop. Recording my songs in fancy studios with famous producers. Stevie kept treating me like crap. Where were you when he was treating me like crap?'
'I know, Robert. Do you think I'm stupid?' Jimbo took a drag from his american spirit and paced back and forth down the hall of his office. His irish brogue was just as passionate as a decade ago, before he lived in america. 'But think of jaw2jaw like a big supper. Stevie is the cheeseburger. Sexy appealing, and bad for you. Liable to give you a heart attack, raise your cholestorol but oh so full of taste. You, my friend, are the farmer's salad from urth cafe. Full of good organic, or biologike, as the french say, fresh vegetables. Your healthy, but a wee bit boring. That's why you'll never succeed on your own. Everybody needs some protein with their food.'
'The experts, actually, are saying that protein is overrated,' interrupted Robert again. (Interrupting was the only way he could get a word in edge wise.)'So is working with overly assertive assholes who you think are going to push their way through the door for you. They're not only stepping on everyone else's neck, they're stepping on yours as well. I'd rather play at mccabes on my own terms then the staples center on somebody else's.
Robert gazed out of his window. That was a luxury he paid a bit extra for. Many rooms didn't have one. He saw the buildings that had been banks in the 20's and 30's, now being taken over by young renegades, artists who were beginning to move to downtown los angeles in droves. This part of the city had been desolate a decade earlier. Nobody wanted to move her then. Now at hip bars he was meeting USC students, new york city film makers, actors, you name it. But he was also paying under 800 dollars a month.
He drew the shades, sat down on the floor and shut his eyes. Beginning to gaze through the middle of his forehead, he became lost in a silent meditation. This simran, a group of 5 punjabi words had been given to him in india on his travels by a holy man in Julandar. He became lost in a trance- then the phone rang.
'You can't do this.' It was Jimbo Mcgee, his former band's manager. He cursed himself inwardly, knowing better then to just pick up the phone. 'You can't leave like this. You have a duty. I booked shows all through Europe, Japan. It's really a dick move on your part.'
'Listen,' Robert slowly and assertively interrupted him, 'You aren't going to string me along by the golden carrot any longer. They aren't easy to swallow. There was always some reason for me not to stop. Recording my songs in fancy studios with famous producers. Stevie kept treating me like crap. Where were you when he was treating me like crap?'
'I know, Robert. Do you think I'm stupid?' Jimbo took a drag from his american spirit and paced back and forth down the hall of his office. His irish brogue was just as passionate as a decade ago, before he lived in america. 'But think of jaw2jaw like a big supper. Stevie is the cheeseburger. Sexy appealing, and bad for you. Liable to give you a heart attack, raise your cholestorol but oh so full of taste. You, my friend, are the farmer's salad from urth cafe. Full of good organic, or biologike, as the french say, fresh vegetables. Your healthy, but a wee bit boring. That's why you'll never succeed on your own. Everybody needs some protein with their food.'
'The experts, actually, are saying that protein is overrated,' interrupted Robert again. (Interrupting was the only way he could get a word in edge wise.)'So is working with overly assertive assholes who you think are going to push their way through the door for you. They're not only stepping on everyone else's neck, they're stepping on yours as well. I'd rather play at mccabes on my own terms then the staples center on somebody else's.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
lines
the spores release a noxious gas called a mycotoxin which penetrates the drywall. Then the mycotoxins create their own colonies. Then they reproduce hard and fast. Mycotoxins can be used in biological warfare to overthrow enemy agent. It only takes 48 hours for black mold to form on dry walls. Instead of trying to repair it some people just have their homes exploded.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Forhair
Proprietary Hair Essentials Blend
* Serenoa Repens (Saw Palmetto) studies have shown that Saw Palmetto is an effective anti-androgen that can inhibit or block the cell membranes from absorbing high levels of DHT. By lowering the levels of DHT in the body, Saw Palmetto encourages the body’s hormones to stay in balance and can promote a healthy environment for hair to grow.
* Fo Ti Root Powder (Polygoni Multiflori) ( He Shou Wu) nourishes the liver, kidneys and blood which can promote hair growth.
* MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) is vital to hair and skin. It’s absorbed very well and the body uses the sulphur in MSM for the structural development of hair. .
* Collagen Type II (Hyalrunic Acid and Chondroitin complex) adds strength and structure to connective tissues especially cartilage. Collagen also helps to restore strength and flexibility to skin, nails and hair.
* Bu Gu Zhi fruit powder increases circulation and the flow of nutrients to the scalp. Studies have shown that Bu Gu Zhi helps to encourage hair RE-growth.
* Eclipta Prostrata herb powder (Han Lian Cao) works for overall hair health and defense against premature gray.
* L-Cysteine HCI an amino acid works to form the antioxidant glutathione that helps the liver detoxify the body. It aides the body in the formation of protein, helps to boost energy and metabolism and the synthesis of fatty acids. Cysteine activates the production of T-cells in the immune system and has been reported to help increase the hair shaft diameter and density of hair growth.
* L-Methionine is an amino acid that converts first to S-adenosylmethionine (SAM) and then to homocysteine. Homocysteine turns into either methionine or cysteine. Both have been reported to; chelate toxins from the body, improve flexibility and tone of skin, strengthen nails and encourage new hair growth. It’s also been found to improve the thickness of fine hair.
* Horsetail Extract (7% silica) contains large amounts of silica which is necessary to maintain healthy nails, skin and hair. Silica helps the body absorb calcium, promotes strong bones and encourages healthy nails, skin, teeth and hair.
* Borage Oil (naturally occurring Essential Fatty acids) contains a high percentage of GLAs (gamma-linolenic acid). Borage Oil is moisturizing and has anti-inflammatory properties. It reduces inflamed hair follicles, combats a dry itchy scalp with moisture, and encourages new hair growth.
* White Tea Extract (80% polyphenols) contains high levels of phytochemicals called polyphenols. Pholyphenols boost the immune function of skin cells and protects them against oxidative stress allowing hair to grow freely.
* Oat (bran) contains B complex, minerals, proteins, fats and heart healthy soluble fibers called beta-glucans. Bran is rich in dietary fiber, helps the body to maintain regularity and eliminate toxic waste from the digestive tract. The good bacteria in the intestines digests Oat Bran into Small Chain Fatty Acids. SCFA’s act as a PRE-biotic and increase the colon’s acidity which inhibits the growth of unhealthy yeasts and bacteria. Oat Bran acts as an antimicrobial cleansing agent for the body.
* Milk Thistle (seed) has a main ingredient called Silymarin which is a plant based super-anitioxidant. This powerful antioxidant is often used to increase the detoxification process of the liver. Milk Thistle seed is thought to be much stronger than Vitamin E or C in fighting free radical damage. Studies have shown that it enhances protein synthesis and supports healthy blood flow.
* Flaxseed Oil (naturally occurring Essential Fatty acids) increases circulation to the scalp. A deficiency in Essential Fatty acids can result in dry lifeless hair. Flaxseed oil has been known to encourage healthy shiny new hair growth.
* Bioperine (black pepper extract) enhances the rate of how nutrients and herbal extracts are absorbed. Formulas that contain Bioperine offer the full benefit of the formulated supplement because Bioperine increases a blended supplements activity.
* Vitamin A (as beta carotene) helps to form and maintain healthy skin, hair and mucous membranes. It protects cells and acts as an antioxidant. It also neutralizes free radicals, prevents cell damage and helps to reduce bacterial growth in both glandular ducts and the skin’s surface allowing hair to grow naturally.
* Vitamin C (as calcium ascorbate) is an excellent free radical scavenger. Calcium ascorbate is a natural form of Vitamin C and easily absorbed into the bloodstream for maximum benefit. It can reverse oxidative stress and also functions to increase the synthesis of collagen.
* Vitamin E (as d-alpha tocopherol succinate) is an antioxidant that protects the immune system from oxidative stress. In the form of d-alpha tocopherol succinate it is thought to be more stable than most other forms of Vitamin E. It interacts with other antioxidants by improving their nutritional absorption and enhances the use of Vitamin A
* Biotin is a B vitamin. A deficiency of Biotin in the body can cause alopecia (hair loss). Biotin promotes healthy nails and hair. Too much or too little oil on the scalp can inhibit hair growth. Biotin is well known to be able to improve the metabolism of scalp oils making the scalp a safe place for hair to grow.
* Iodine (from kelp) contains B-complex vitamins and is an excellent source of natural iodine, magnesium, zinc and calcium and is very high in vitamin K. Sea Kelp is very nutritional and helps hair grow. Hair grows faster and longer if it doesn’t lie dormant for too long. The iodine in kelp regulates the production of the thyroid gland’s hormone thyroxin. It helps to regulate how long hair stays in the dormant stage and encourages the hair to be active so it can grow.
* Zinc (as amion acid chelate) is essential for cell growth and easily absorbed by the body. Symptoms of a zinc deficiency can include dandruff and hair loss. Zinc acts as an antioxidant. It helps boost the immune system and fight infections. It has been found to have an affect on the levels of androgens (a hormone known to be involved with some forms of genetic hair loss).
* Selenium (as amino acid chelate) is a super antioxidant that the body can use to improve most inflammatory conditions. When combined with Vitamin E, selenium provides a significant benefit and helps the thyroid gland function properly.
* Made with the highest quality ingredients, derived from the oldest, safest, and most effective medicinal system in history.
* Cellulose capsules are filled with fine ground herbal powders that are easy to swallow and contain no animal products.
* Each bottle is approximately a one month supply, when used as recommen
* Serenoa Repens (Saw Palmetto) studies have shown that Saw Palmetto is an effective anti-androgen that can inhibit or block the cell membranes from absorbing high levels of DHT. By lowering the levels of DHT in the body, Saw Palmetto encourages the body’s hormones to stay in balance and can promote a healthy environment for hair to grow.
* Fo Ti Root Powder (Polygoni Multiflori) ( He Shou Wu) nourishes the liver, kidneys and blood which can promote hair growth.
* MSM (methylsulfonylmethane) is vital to hair and skin. It’s absorbed very well and the body uses the sulphur in MSM for the structural development of hair. .
* Collagen Type II (Hyalrunic Acid and Chondroitin complex) adds strength and structure to connective tissues especially cartilage. Collagen also helps to restore strength and flexibility to skin, nails and hair.
* Bu Gu Zhi fruit powder increases circulation and the flow of nutrients to the scalp. Studies have shown that Bu Gu Zhi helps to encourage hair RE-growth.
* Eclipta Prostrata herb powder (Han Lian Cao) works for overall hair health and defense against premature gray.
* L-Cysteine HCI an amino acid works to form the antioxidant glutathione that helps the liver detoxify the body. It aides the body in the formation of protein, helps to boost energy and metabolism and the synthesis of fatty acids. Cysteine activates the production of T-cells in the immune system and has been reported to help increase the hair shaft diameter and density of hair growth.
* L-Methionine is an amino acid that converts first to S-adenosylmethionine (SAM) and then to homocysteine. Homocysteine turns into either methionine or cysteine. Both have been reported to; chelate toxins from the body, improve flexibility and tone of skin, strengthen nails and encourage new hair growth. It’s also been found to improve the thickness of fine hair.
* Horsetail Extract (7% silica) contains large amounts of silica which is necessary to maintain healthy nails, skin and hair. Silica helps the body absorb calcium, promotes strong bones and encourages healthy nails, skin, teeth and hair.
* Borage Oil (naturally occurring Essential Fatty acids) contains a high percentage of GLAs (gamma-linolenic acid). Borage Oil is moisturizing and has anti-inflammatory properties. It reduces inflamed hair follicles, combats a dry itchy scalp with moisture, and encourages new hair growth.
* White Tea Extract (80% polyphenols) contains high levels of phytochemicals called polyphenols. Pholyphenols boost the immune function of skin cells and protects them against oxidative stress allowing hair to grow freely.
* Oat (bran) contains B complex, minerals, proteins, fats and heart healthy soluble fibers called beta-glucans. Bran is rich in dietary fiber, helps the body to maintain regularity and eliminate toxic waste from the digestive tract. The good bacteria in the intestines digests Oat Bran into Small Chain Fatty Acids. SCFA’s act as a PRE-biotic and increase the colon’s acidity which inhibits the growth of unhealthy yeasts and bacteria. Oat Bran acts as an antimicrobial cleansing agent for the body.
* Milk Thistle (seed) has a main ingredient called Silymarin which is a plant based super-anitioxidant. This powerful antioxidant is often used to increase the detoxification process of the liver. Milk Thistle seed is thought to be much stronger than Vitamin E or C in fighting free radical damage. Studies have shown that it enhances protein synthesis and supports healthy blood flow.
* Flaxseed Oil (naturally occurring Essential Fatty acids) increases circulation to the scalp. A deficiency in Essential Fatty acids can result in dry lifeless hair. Flaxseed oil has been known to encourage healthy shiny new hair growth.
* Bioperine (black pepper extract) enhances the rate of how nutrients and herbal extracts are absorbed. Formulas that contain Bioperine offer the full benefit of the formulated supplement because Bioperine increases a blended supplements activity.
* Vitamin A (as beta carotene) helps to form and maintain healthy skin, hair and mucous membranes. It protects cells and acts as an antioxidant. It also neutralizes free radicals, prevents cell damage and helps to reduce bacterial growth in both glandular ducts and the skin’s surface allowing hair to grow naturally.
* Vitamin C (as calcium ascorbate) is an excellent free radical scavenger. Calcium ascorbate is a natural form of Vitamin C and easily absorbed into the bloodstream for maximum benefit. It can reverse oxidative stress and also functions to increase the synthesis of collagen.
* Vitamin E (as d-alpha tocopherol succinate) is an antioxidant that protects the immune system from oxidative stress. In the form of d-alpha tocopherol succinate it is thought to be more stable than most other forms of Vitamin E. It interacts with other antioxidants by improving their nutritional absorption and enhances the use of Vitamin A
* Biotin is a B vitamin. A deficiency of Biotin in the body can cause alopecia (hair loss). Biotin promotes healthy nails and hair. Too much or too little oil on the scalp can inhibit hair growth. Biotin is well known to be able to improve the metabolism of scalp oils making the scalp a safe place for hair to grow.
* Iodine (from kelp) contains B-complex vitamins and is an excellent source of natural iodine, magnesium, zinc and calcium and is very high in vitamin K. Sea Kelp is very nutritional and helps hair grow. Hair grows faster and longer if it doesn’t lie dormant for too long. The iodine in kelp regulates the production of the thyroid gland’s hormone thyroxin. It helps to regulate how long hair stays in the dormant stage and encourages the hair to be active so it can grow.
* Zinc (as amion acid chelate) is essential for cell growth and easily absorbed by the body. Symptoms of a zinc deficiency can include dandruff and hair loss. Zinc acts as an antioxidant. It helps boost the immune system and fight infections. It has been found to have an affect on the levels of androgens (a hormone known to be involved with some forms of genetic hair loss).
* Selenium (as amino acid chelate) is a super antioxidant that the body can use to improve most inflammatory conditions. When combined with Vitamin E, selenium provides a significant benefit and helps the thyroid gland function properly.
* Made with the highest quality ingredients, derived from the oldest, safest, and most effective medicinal system in history.
* Cellulose capsules are filled with fine ground herbal powders that are easy to swallow and contain no animal products.
* Each bottle is approximately a one month supply, when used as recommen
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
oddjobs
so i'm working or this lady who needs her office moved. She's a friend of my aunt and uncles. She works with kids and has thousands of miniature figures on shelves. of animals she has figurines of dogs, cats, sheep, goats, elephants, zebras, horses, armadillos, insects, etc. she's got cars, buildings, mini churches, etc. She has tons of stuff and she wants it all moved in on these identical shelves that we had to put up. one problem was the chintzy brackets for the shelves kept falling out.
(playing to live audience.)
I am the contradiction man. Seems like everything contradicts, is perpetually obtuse, ambivalent. Like take Porn for instance. any guy would love to be a porn star. wouldn't you? all that great sex? any guy who says he wouldn't love to be a porn star is lying. Let's see a show of hands to guys who would love to do porn. i'm talkin' with WOMEN. (to people not raising their hands) you bunch of liars. You wouldn't get paid to have sex with beautiful woment? my whole problem is, that i love my mama. she would cry if i did porn.
So there's this smug asshole in my apartment complex. always makes a big deal about what a wealthy self made man he is. I met his dad in the elevator. His dad was like, yeah this is a nice place- it better be, it cost me enough money. the guy's dad bought his apt. for him. What a douche.
I am the contradiction man. Seems like everything contradicts, is perpetually obtuse, ambivalent. Like take Porn for instance. any guy would love to be a porn star. wouldn't you? all that great sex? any guy who says he wouldn't love to be a porn star is lying. Let's see a show of hands to guys who would love to do porn. i'm talkin' with WOMEN. (to people not raising their hands) you bunch of liars. You wouldn't get paid to have sex with beautiful woment? my whole problem is, that i love my mama. she would cry if i did porn.
So there's this smug asshole in my apartment complex. always makes a big deal about what a wealthy self made man he is. I met his dad in the elevator. His dad was like, yeah this is a nice place- it better be, it cost me enough money. the guy's dad bought his apt. for him. What a douche.
Friday, September 24, 2010
हियर वे go
D E A
what are we gonna do now?
A D G A
taking off his turban they say is this man a Jew
A D A
Coz their working for the clampdown
D D G A
they put a poster saying "We earn more than you"
A D A
When were working for the clampdown
D G
we will teach our twisted speech
G D A
to the young believers
D G
we will train our blue eyed men
D D A
to be young believers
verse2
A D G A
The judge said five to ten but I said double it again
A D A
Im Not working for the Clampdown
A D G A
No man born with a living soul
D A D
can be working for the clampdown
D G
Kick over the wall 'cause governments gonna fall
G D A
How can we refuse it?
D G
Let fury have the hour ,anger can be power
G D A
Did you know that you can use it
bridge
E E G E
the voices in your head are calling
E E A E
stop wasting your time theres nothing comming
E E G E
only a fool can think someone can save you
E E A G
the men in the factry are old and cunning
E E G E
you don't own nothing boy get runnin'
E E G E E!
its the best years of your life they want to steal
verse3
A D G A
But you grow up and you clam down,
A D A
Working for the clampdown
A D G A
You start wearing Blue and Brown and
A D A
working for the clampdown
D G
So you got someone to boss around
G D A
make you feel big now
D G
You drift until you brutilize you
G D A
made your first kill now
A D G A muted
In these days of evil presidentes
A D A
working for the clampdown
A D G A
But lately one or two has fully paid thier due
A D A
working for the clampdown
what are we gonna do now?
A D G A
taking off his turban they say is this man a Jew
A D A
Coz their working for the clampdown
D D G A
they put a poster saying "We earn more than you"
A D A
When were working for the clampdown
D G
we will teach our twisted speech
G D A
to the young believers
D G
we will train our blue eyed men
D D A
to be young believers
verse2
A D G A
The judge said five to ten but I said double it again
A D A
Im Not working for the Clampdown
A D G A
No man born with a living soul
D A D
can be working for the clampdown
D G
Kick over the wall 'cause governments gonna fall
G D A
How can we refuse it?
D G
Let fury have the hour ,anger can be power
G D A
Did you know that you can use it
bridge
E E G E
the voices in your head are calling
E E A E
stop wasting your time theres nothing comming
E E G E
only a fool can think someone can save you
E E A G
the men in the factry are old and cunning
E E G E
you don't own nothing boy get runnin'
E E G E E!
its the best years of your life they want to steal
verse3
A D G A
But you grow up and you clam down,
A D A
Working for the clampdown
A D G A
You start wearing Blue and Brown and
A D A
working for the clampdown
D G
So you got someone to boss around
G D A
make you feel big now
D G
You drift until you brutilize you
G D A
made your first kill now
A D G A muted
In these days of evil presidentes
A D A
working for the clampdown
A D G A
But lately one or two has fully paid thier due
A D A
working for the clampdown
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
सुस्पिकिऔस minds
G C
We're caught in a trap; I can't walk out
D C G
because I love you too much, baby.
G C
Why can't you see, what you're doing to me,
D C D C Bm D7
when you don't believe a word I say?
(1st Chorus:)
C G Bm C D
We can't go on together, with Suspicious Minds;
Em Bm C D D7
and we can't build our dreams, on Suspicious Minds.
2.
G C
So, if an old friend I know, drops by to say hello,
D C G
would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
G C
Here we go again, asking where I've been.
D C D C Bm D7
You can see these tears are real I'm crying.
(2nd Chorus:)
C G Bm C
We can't go on together, with Suspicious Minds;
Em Bm C B7sus4 B7
and we can't build our dreams, on Suspicious Minds...
Em Bm C
Oh, let our love survive,
D
I'll dry the tears from your eyes.
Em Bm C
Let's don't let a good thing die, when honey,
D G C G D7
you know I've never, lied to you; Mmm, yeah, yeah!
We're caught in a trap; I can't walk out
D C G
because I love you too much, baby.
G C
Why can't you see, what you're doing to me,
D C D C Bm D7
when you don't believe a word I say?
(1st Chorus:)
C G Bm C D
We can't go on together, with Suspicious Minds;
Em Bm C D D7
and we can't build our dreams, on Suspicious Minds.
2.
G C
So, if an old friend I know, drops by to say hello,
D C G
would I still see suspicion in your eyes?
G C
Here we go again, asking where I've been.
D C D C Bm D7
You can see these tears are real I'm crying.
(2nd Chorus:)
C G Bm C
We can't go on together, with Suspicious Minds;
Em Bm C B7sus4 B7
and we can't build our dreams, on Suspicious Minds...
Em Bm C
Oh, let our love survive,
D
I'll dry the tears from your eyes.
Em Bm C
Let's don't let a good thing die, when honey,
D G C G D7
you know I've never, lied to you; Mmm, yeah, yeah!
Sunday, September 12, 2010
i don't even know what i'm doing anymore. i'm full of ambivalence, wondering what the point is. Half living here half living there. i don't feel like stopping i don't feel like ending. i don't really know anything at all. So what am i going to do in this life. what am i going to waste what am i going to taste. what the hell is wrong with the world what the hell is wrong with me?
Friday, August 27, 2010
Ab C#
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them though it’s just time they kill
Ab C#
oh angel, give me your sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them give me the time they kill
Chorus
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B Bb7
Gone, gone to valium can you get me some?
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B
Too Siamese to catch the leave from those trees
Verse2
Ab C#
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them though it’s just time they kill
Chorus
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B Bb7
Gone, gone to valium can you get me some?
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign,
B With sweet
do today,with sweet f.a.to do today
C#m Abm B A C#m
Eb
Hey….sweet F.A. ………sweet F.A….hey,……sweet F.A.
Ab C#
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills
------------------------
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them though it’s just time they kill
Ab C#
oh angel, give me your sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them give me the time they kill
Chorus
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B Bb7
Gone, gone to valium can you get me some?
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B
Too Siamese to catch the leave from those trees
Verse2
Ab C#
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills,
Bb C#
you don’t need them though it’s just time they kill
Chorus
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign
B Bb7
Gone, gone to valium can you get me some?
Ab C
You’re a water sign, I’m an air sign,
B With sweet
do today,with sweet f.a.to do today
C#m Abm B A C#m
Eb
Hey….sweet F.A. ………sweet F.A….hey,……sweet F.A.
Ab C#
Oh angel, don’t take those sleeping pills
------------------------
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
whatisamensch
It's somebody who does a lot of good deeds. Like a certain lawyer I know who is helping me out. Lawyers and attorneys are often pegged in an unsavory manor.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Cia
Gary Friday, a duplicitous government agent who has been helping exploit third world countries for years, goes through a one hundred and eighty degree change when a tribesman in Peru (whose people he is supposed to kick off their own land,) takes him on a journey through the unknown, introducing him to a wild psychadelic plant and changing him so completely that he decides to resign from his career and stay in the jungle. His switch to writing and confessing his past crimes is of grave concern to the federal government who insist on trying to silence him. In an effort to keep track of his whereabouts, they begin spying on his children, all of whom want nothing to do with the rigid military lifestyle he has spent his whole adult life trying to escape.
They begin focusing on his son Jimmy Friday, who is the singer for a Rock and Roll band called jaw2jaw. He is a believer in peace and inspired by musical leaders whom he believes have made a difference in the world such as Joe Strummer, bob dylan, Eddie Vedder, etc. In an attempt to forget his troubled past, Jimmy has developed into a Rock and Roll personality and pursued his dreams fronting a band that has enjoyed modest success. After disbanding the project due to fears that certain band members are becoming overly ambitious and wanting to change the creative process through what he labels ‘selling out,’ he goes on the lookout for a new bass player and guitarist. His Drummer, lifelong friend Johnny 2 times, is kept on in the project.
Officers who are desperately trying to discover more ways of keeping up wth Gary Friday decide that the change of band members presents the perfect way to keep a dossier on their favorite man’s son: plant moles within his band who keep track of his every move. This includes band manager Cadence Miller, who although being an experienced double agent with many years of experience, also has a past career as a songwriter in Nashville with many connections to the music business. This gives him a legitimacy and credibility that Jimmy buys hook line and sinker.
Ziggy Prague is the pseudonym given to guitar master and CIa agent Martin Siegel. Able to play just about anything by ear and the graduate of the prestigious Berklee school of music, he’s A frustrated talent who has given up his dreams for a real living as a government agent. When he is called upon to be a mole in Jimmy’s new band, he realizes it’s a plan drawn straight from Hades – he must betray the singer he idolizes in order to play with him. He is given orders from on high to spy on him and document his every move, even recording conversations with him where he is told what to say to help bring out information about his father, even using psychological methods such as Neurolinguistic Programming to draw out trust from his band member. Although Ziggy has been trained in the art of government deception, lines become blurred as he becomes emotionally drawn to his new friend and his allegiances switch, showing us that friendship is often more powerful then political obligation.
Tina Dahl, the hot bass player who becomes Jimmy’s love interest, is a government agent whose skills in the espionage department are so hot that even though she is not a musician, she is given crash courses in bass playing just so that she can keep Jimmy in line as well. She forms an inside alliance with Cadence and Ziggy that becomes compromised the more she realizes she actually enjoys playing rock music.
Johnny 2 times, the drummer, has no political connections, he’s just a great drummer with a naïve streak to the craziness around him. The sole survivor along with Jimmy from Jaw2Jaw, he is naïve at first but slowly starts to pick up on the conspiracy within his band thanks to his girlfriend Sheila, who can’t help but notice something is fishy. Cadence Miller is the ringleader, who can’t help but understand Ziggy and Tina’s eventual unwillingness to follow protocol when fun gets in the way. He soon realizes that trying to maintain his authoritarian position and keeping everyone on track becomes impossible, and can’t help but sympathize when his younger cohorts begin failing to do their job. They’re doing what he always wanted to. How could he possibly begrudge them of that?
What happens when Tina and Ziggy are supposed to continually deceive Jimmy but they grow to bond with and love him? Are they able to continue spying on him and using him as their means for livelihood? Are they tempted to move on from their government jobs when success in the music industry that so many covet comes knockin’ at their door? Will they eventually choose the music? Join us on a rock and roll journey and find out.
They begin focusing on his son Jimmy Friday, who is the singer for a Rock and Roll band called jaw2jaw. He is a believer in peace and inspired by musical leaders whom he believes have made a difference in the world such as Joe Strummer, bob dylan, Eddie Vedder, etc. In an attempt to forget his troubled past, Jimmy has developed into a Rock and Roll personality and pursued his dreams fronting a band that has enjoyed modest success. After disbanding the project due to fears that certain band members are becoming overly ambitious and wanting to change the creative process through what he labels ‘selling out,’ he goes on the lookout for a new bass player and guitarist. His Drummer, lifelong friend Johnny 2 times, is kept on in the project.
Officers who are desperately trying to discover more ways of keeping up wth Gary Friday decide that the change of band members presents the perfect way to keep a dossier on their favorite man’s son: plant moles within his band who keep track of his every move. This includes band manager Cadence Miller, who although being an experienced double agent with many years of experience, also has a past career as a songwriter in Nashville with many connections to the music business. This gives him a legitimacy and credibility that Jimmy buys hook line and sinker.
Ziggy Prague is the pseudonym given to guitar master and CIa agent Martin Siegel. Able to play just about anything by ear and the graduate of the prestigious Berklee school of music, he’s A frustrated talent who has given up his dreams for a real living as a government agent. When he is called upon to be a mole in Jimmy’s new band, he realizes it’s a plan drawn straight from Hades – he must betray the singer he idolizes in order to play with him. He is given orders from on high to spy on him and document his every move, even recording conversations with him where he is told what to say to help bring out information about his father, even using psychological methods such as Neurolinguistic Programming to draw out trust from his band member. Although Ziggy has been trained in the art of government deception, lines become blurred as he becomes emotionally drawn to his new friend and his allegiances switch, showing us that friendship is often more powerful then political obligation.
Tina Dahl, the hot bass player who becomes Jimmy’s love interest, is a government agent whose skills in the espionage department are so hot that even though she is not a musician, she is given crash courses in bass playing just so that she can keep Jimmy in line as well. She forms an inside alliance with Cadence and Ziggy that becomes compromised the more she realizes she actually enjoys playing rock music.
Johnny 2 times, the drummer, has no political connections, he’s just a great drummer with a naïve streak to the craziness around him. The sole survivor along with Jimmy from Jaw2Jaw, he is naïve at first but slowly starts to pick up on the conspiracy within his band thanks to his girlfriend Sheila, who can’t help but notice something is fishy. Cadence Miller is the ringleader, who can’t help but understand Ziggy and Tina’s eventual unwillingness to follow protocol when fun gets in the way. He soon realizes that trying to maintain his authoritarian position and keeping everyone on track becomes impossible, and can’t help but sympathize when his younger cohorts begin failing to do their job. They’re doing what he always wanted to. How could he possibly begrudge them of that?
What happens when Tina and Ziggy are supposed to continually deceive Jimmy but they grow to bond with and love him? Are they able to continue spying on him and using him as their means for livelihood? Are they tempted to move on from their government jobs when success in the music industry that so many covet comes knockin’ at their door? Will they eventually choose the music? Join us on a rock and roll journey and find out.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Contract
Jaime owes Jeremy $135. Jeremy will use this towards bass, amps, etc.
Half of what Jaime spent on tunecore, $5, will be deducted- so now it's $130.
Band practice is twice a week. Must have 24 hours for rescheduling except for emergency.
Singing duties will be split 50/50 between Jeremy and Jaime.
The band name will never again from here on out consist of a band member's name.
Band Fund's Trustee is Marshaune Mack.
If member is no longer in the band, he gets his or her percentage after leaving.
Song splits will be figured out with a knowledgeable and neutral music business person at a later date. (hopefully soon)
Half of what Jaime spent on tunecore, $5, will be deducted- so now it's $130.
Band practice is twice a week. Must have 24 hours for rescheduling except for emergency.
Singing duties will be split 50/50 between Jeremy and Jaime.
The band name will never again from here on out consist of a band member's name.
Band Fund's Trustee is Marshaune Mack.
If member is no longer in the band, he gets his or her percentage after leaving.
Song splits will be figured out with a knowledgeable and neutral music business person at a later date. (hopefully soon)
Monday, April 5, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
ciaband
Jimmy Friday is the singer for a rock and roll band. He’s also the son of Renegade CIa man Daniel Friday, a man whose wherabouts are unknown. In an attempt to forget his troubled past, Jimmy has developed into a Rock and roll singer and persued his dreams fronting a band called jaw2jaw. Now that band has disbanded and he is looking for new players for his next project.
ZIggy Prague is the pseudonym given to guitar master and CIa agent Martin Siegel. He’s A frustrated musician who has given up his dreams for a real living as a government agent. When he is called upon to be in Jimmy’s new band, he realizes it’s a plan drawn straight from mephistoles – he must betray the singer he idolizes in order to play with him. He is given orders from on high to protect him, inspect him, and be ready to reject him.
Then there is Tina Dahl, the hot bass player who becomes his love interest. She is a government agent who’s skills in the espionage department are so hot that even though she is not a musician, she is given crash courses in bass playing just so that she can keep Jimmy in line as well.
Then there’s Johnny 2 times, the drummer, who has no connection to the cia. He’s just a great drummer and naïve to the craziness around him. The sole survivor along with jimmy from jaw2jaw, he is naïve at first but starts to pick up on the conspiracy within his band thanks to his brilliant engineer girlfriend Sheila, who jokes about it constantly. I am Cadence Miller, ringleader manager, and cia agent.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that generally, people who love to travel are those who haven’t done much of it. I, for one, am tired of the early mornings rushing to the airport, being packed in a tin can in the sky. Coming into Lax last week a friendly united airlines employee was grilling me about my travels. He wore a red vest and expressed a friendly enough demeanor.
‘Wow, you got back from Tokyo? I’ve always wanted to go jaPan.’
‘It’s a lot of fun,’ I growled curtly. He must of remembered me somehow, I couldn’t recall how.
‘I’m hal, remember I checked you in?’ he said. ‘I’m just on break right now. I’d rather come to the magazine rack then go into the break room and listen to everyone complaining about unions and stuff.’
I remembered him now.
‘great memory you have,’ I said reaching my hand out as if he’d earned my respect. He had. He seemed like a smart enough guy, stuck here as a wage slave. Maybe he was a student. ‘Do you go to school?’
‘no I’m in a band. I play the drums.’
‘Really? I manage a band. In fact, we may be auditioning new players. Do you have a card?’
He didn’t waste a second, but reached into his coat pocket and grabbed a card. I grabbed it and looked at it. It didn’t just have his phone and email, but links to a website and EPK.
‘never know who you’re going to meet at the airport,’ he said, smiling. ‘that’s why I don’t mind working here.’
‘But you don’t love it.’
‘of course not. I love playing drums.’
I gave him a card as well. It said my name, Cadence Miller, then, UNITED Management. It had my email and phone number. Then I left and caught a cab.
Los angeles is not as bad as they say. There are so many micro communities and nature spots. Ironic as it seems though, the best places here are the ones that make you forget about the city itself. Topanga canyon, Malibu canyon. Hiking trails off of sierra bonita. You can have the sunset strip, I’d tell the driver to keep driving until were a few miles east, past where Hollywood blvd and sunset kiss, and a few blocks down into silverlake. Like El Cid where Janes addiction played their secret show with Eric avery on bass in 2008. Damn it I had to be in paris that week but I watched most of it on youtube. I made sure not to miss their show at the echoplex at least. That’s why I don’t like leaving this town. You never know what you’re going to miss out on. I told my boss I wanted a break from travels. I told him to get me something where I didn’t have to be a beatnik in the sky, downing adderall instead of Benzedrine. I want to go on juice fasts, bike rides, surfing, and work in my spare time. I’ll even take a pay cut. Hold the phone, I found out I don’t have to take a pay cut. Because of my encyclopedia like knowledge of rock and roll I could ‘play’ a rock and roll manager. Only it wouldn’t be a movie. It would be real life. I’d be talking to booking agents, etc. But I wasn’t in over my head. Andy diamond over at real life management would be talking me through the hard parts, and dealing with the practical aspects of the music business. I would be band psychologist, and spy. See, our boy Jimmy has information we want. It’s information that is so deep in him that he doesn’t even realize anybody would desire it. But it’s there. He’s the son of a mastermind. Sir Daniel Friday. The key is, we don’t need all the information at once. And we eventually want him to work for us. But we must make the spider desire the web. Why the government wants thousands of pages of dossiers on somebody who wants nothing to do with them baffles me. But it’s my work, and money makes the world go around. But music is the axis from what it spins. So I’m just going to have to let it whirl. Can I order you a drink? I’ll have the irish car bomb, but I’m not gonna dunk the shot glass into the Guinness, I’m just going to pour the likor in cause I’m a bit of a germophobe.
So our man jimmy thinks he’s some kind of modern day joe strummer. He’s never been the same since he saw the doc. About him at the nuart. The future is unwritten, it was called. He saw a film star washing his hands in the bathroom and didn’t say hello. But he did shout out, ‘wasn’t that awesome?’ and found it funny that this star was the son of an actress who’s most famous movie’s actor had one of his obscure early flicks showing in the future at the nuart and was shown in the trailer. He ran down the street in a manic skip, popped in his car rolled home. Once there, he got out his beat up graffiti sprayed macbook pro and began pecking in his online blog.
IN THE NEW BaND THERE WE won’t have a website. We will be all word of mouth. Possible band names: tantrum, vinyl clocks. Need to get some cool skinny ties and suspenders. Need to get a suit and spill paint on it. Only get band members that won’t sell out. Play venues downtown, like Rosebud, the smell. It’s not about the money.
So the way I’m going to get through to him is through sublety. I’ll go to some of his gigs, give him my card. It works every time. Let him know I’m no a&r guy. I’m an artist myself. Even have some of my very own songs on itunes. He’s not going to know what hit him.
Jimmy’s flat at the million dollar hotel. Plastic glow crucifix on a statue of Buddha. A book called the gospel of levi, which recounts jesus’s lost years. A carafe halfway filled with rice sake. A towel hung on the shower, used for drying hands and drying after bathing. Most of all the view. The view is that there is no view. His first room without a view. But that’s the price of freedom. No more record deal, the advance from jaw2jaw ran out long ago. No more trust fund, no more nothin’. Didn’t bother jimmy that much. Well, maybe a little bit. As ice cube said, mo money mo problems. His favorite watering hole a block down. His one stop lkor shop on the way. He told igor he wanted the camel reds where it said $6 and pleasantly reprimanded him when charged $7. He couldn’t let that stuff go anymore. He no longer had more money then god. And who’s hanging out at the watering hole? Let’s have a look see. Plenty of USC girls from new york city. Harboring a secret love for the new downtown because it’s reminding them more and more of the home they left behind. Personal assistants for actors who want to be actors, waiters who want to sing. It was perfect. He opened his journal and thought about Leah, the beautiful young woman who claimed to be one of the enlightened ones of the new age. They call them indigo children. She inspired this:
indigo, don’t say you gotta go:
crush is when the colors come out.
He thought about powdered incense, how it had to be crushed to smell good. He thought about Indigo leaving his flat, giving him nothing but a kiss on the cheek and that stomach ache that wouldn’t leave for a week. Hopeless romantic? No you would have gotten one too if you were a 26 year old straight male. Then he wrote down:
No more Girls.
For now.
They always got him off track. Like the last one. He wrote this for her:
It’s not your fault. You’re all the rage.
Addicted to angst but you’ve got great legs.
You will not download
Her emotional hardware
She’s bound to break
But acts like she don’t care
she’s beautiful but an emotional brain-bot
they taught her from birth
to be a dilettante
pharmaceutical clone with a large evil eye
it takes a semester just to learn how to cry.
Get ready for electrical brainwaves
Helmets visors and headphones too
We’ll get instructions
How to start our life all over again if that’s what we choose!
Hone in perfect detail
Lasers seen holographically
Spinning shapes so geometrical
Satellite systems I’m absorbed
In the screen
I’ve died / been reborn
Into a warrior never torn between what’s right and wrong
I live for the rye and the song. Human tongue/ snake tongue.
Then his cell phone rang. It was me.
‘We gonna do that audition?’ I asked. ‘Because I have somebody I think would be a great guitar player. He went to Berklee, and he’s amazing.’
‘I don’t want any jazz heads,’ he said. ‘I mean, I like coltrane, mingus, miles, as much as the next guy but I’m not looking for some dude with a strap on metronome.’
‘just shut up. Have I been wrong before? And I’ve got a great bass player for you too.’
‘Just as long as he’s into peter hook and eric avery.’
‘She’s like your twin.’
‘SHE? Is she pretty?’
‘That’s irrelevant. Be there tomorrow at noon.’
Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to go about the audition. All I knew is who had to be the chosen ones. Jimmy and his drummer Johnny 2 times were a given. And so were the chosen ones. Ziggy was already a master, but I had him study every note of the first 3 janes addiction albums and bought him an instructional video of Dave Navarro. He arrived to the audition with his long legs sticking out of his blue shorts which had long zippers going all the way to the bottom. He had a funky red tuxedo shirt with a black tie. It sounds odd but it kind of worked. Tina Dahl didn’t have to worry about her appearance. She was beautiful in the fishnet stockings, high heels that take talent to walk in, and a perfectly made up face with luscious red lips to match her strawberry red hair. She pulled out her red Gibson sg bass and was ready to go.
‘I don’t use any pedals, I just want to plug right in,’ she said. I had them wait a little while as we tried out some people from and ad we ran on craigslist. There were still plenty of old timers still trying to live the dream. Along with some straight out of rehabbers and other various burnouts. Good people, hearts in the right places, some were even skilled. But the timing was off. And rock and roll is all about timing. By the time Tina and Ziggy were ready, jimmy and Johnny were ready for action. They plunged into some old jaw2jaw favorites, and then mountain song by janes addiction. It was an easy fit, a cinderella’s shoe. Jimmy nodded me to come to the back room.
‘ok, I owe you one,’ he said.
Believe me, it’s not always this easy.
‘Shut the fuck up, this isn’t funny,’ Martin Siegel roared into the phone. Usually he wasn’t like this. He thought I was toying with him. I wasn’t. ‘jaw to jaw is one of my favorite bands. You can’t be serious.’
‘We’ve searched everyone in the database. There’s a few other notable musicians, but we are attracted to the fact that you specialize in guitar. In other words, that’s aLL you specialize in, in terms of music. and you’ve got the right taste for the band.’
‘This doesn’t make sense. So this is some kind of under cover job? Like I have to keep tabs on him or something?’
‘Just think of it like you’re journaling about the details of someone’s character. Oh, and also, you need to protect him. We don’t want him harmed. We just want to know what he’s up to. And you need to be able to rock, which you are.’
‘This is too bizarre. I feel like I’m in a movie. Shit. Does this mean I have to live in l. a.?’
‘Yeah, you’ll like it. And think of a pseudonymn.’
‘That’s easy. Ziggy Prague. I made it up on tour like a decade ago. Prague was my favorite city.’
‘Why?’
‘The girls.’
Band Meeting.
We all got into a room. All I know is it was by a pool table. Oh, and it was in a restaurant shaped like the titanic. It was a few blocks from the Wiltern. Don’t even ask how many shows I’ve been to there. The pogues was my favorite one.
‘So now we gotta think of a band name.’
“So we’re in?” Ziggy pounced. He still couldn’t believe it.
Jimmy took a swig from his black coffee and muttered, ‘of course.’ He sat at the head of the table like he was the CEO. He leaned forward a bit.
‘I’ve been thinking. One of my favorite bands from the early 80’s is the police. Ever thought how funny it is that they called themselves The Police?’
‘oh here we go,’ I thought.
‘Every band needs a myles Copeland. You’re our myles Copeland,’ he waved a finger toward me. ‘Did you know he’s the drummer Stuart’s brother?’
I nodded slightly, knowing the whole story. They were raised in Lebanon, along with the other brother Ian, whom I saw speak at the Roosevelt hotel before he passed away. He had run IRS records which had REM and the gogo’s, among others.
‘and their dad was in the cia.’ His eyes darted toward me knowingly.
‘shit,’ I thought. ‘Is he in on something?’
‘I was thinking. We could call the band Cia. What do you guys think?
Tina and Ziggy looked at each other for a brief second then looked away.
‘kind of weird,’ kwipped Johnny 2 times, not needing to be the yes man.
‘I like it,’ said tina, looking at me. ‘It’s endearing.’
Ziggy was back in his apartment in santa monica, trying to contain his excitement. Had I actually done something right in my life? He thought to himself. There had been no party in his soul before. Now there was a rager. He had to write.
ZIggy Prague is the pseudonym given to guitar master and CIa agent Martin Siegel. He’s A frustrated musician who has given up his dreams for a real living as a government agent. When he is called upon to be in Jimmy’s new band, he realizes it’s a plan drawn straight from mephistoles – he must betray the singer he idolizes in order to play with him. He is given orders from on high to protect him, inspect him, and be ready to reject him.
Then there is Tina Dahl, the hot bass player who becomes his love interest. She is a government agent who’s skills in the espionage department are so hot that even though she is not a musician, she is given crash courses in bass playing just so that she can keep Jimmy in line as well.
Then there’s Johnny 2 times, the drummer, who has no connection to the cia. He’s just a great drummer and naïve to the craziness around him. The sole survivor along with jimmy from jaw2jaw, he is naïve at first but starts to pick up on the conspiracy within his band thanks to his brilliant engineer girlfriend Sheila, who jokes about it constantly. I am Cadence Miller, ringleader manager, and cia agent.
So I’ve come to the conclusion that generally, people who love to travel are those who haven’t done much of it. I, for one, am tired of the early mornings rushing to the airport, being packed in a tin can in the sky. Coming into Lax last week a friendly united airlines employee was grilling me about my travels. He wore a red vest and expressed a friendly enough demeanor.
‘Wow, you got back from Tokyo? I’ve always wanted to go jaPan.’
‘It’s a lot of fun,’ I growled curtly. He must of remembered me somehow, I couldn’t recall how.
‘I’m hal, remember I checked you in?’ he said. ‘I’m just on break right now. I’d rather come to the magazine rack then go into the break room and listen to everyone complaining about unions and stuff.’
I remembered him now.
‘great memory you have,’ I said reaching my hand out as if he’d earned my respect. He had. He seemed like a smart enough guy, stuck here as a wage slave. Maybe he was a student. ‘Do you go to school?’
‘no I’m in a band. I play the drums.’
‘Really? I manage a band. In fact, we may be auditioning new players. Do you have a card?’
He didn’t waste a second, but reached into his coat pocket and grabbed a card. I grabbed it and looked at it. It didn’t just have his phone and email, but links to a website and EPK.
‘never know who you’re going to meet at the airport,’ he said, smiling. ‘that’s why I don’t mind working here.’
‘But you don’t love it.’
‘of course not. I love playing drums.’
I gave him a card as well. It said my name, Cadence Miller, then, UNITED Management. It had my email and phone number. Then I left and caught a cab.
Los angeles is not as bad as they say. There are so many micro communities and nature spots. Ironic as it seems though, the best places here are the ones that make you forget about the city itself. Topanga canyon, Malibu canyon. Hiking trails off of sierra bonita. You can have the sunset strip, I’d tell the driver to keep driving until were a few miles east, past where Hollywood blvd and sunset kiss, and a few blocks down into silverlake. Like El Cid where Janes addiction played their secret show with Eric avery on bass in 2008. Damn it I had to be in paris that week but I watched most of it on youtube. I made sure not to miss their show at the echoplex at least. That’s why I don’t like leaving this town. You never know what you’re going to miss out on. I told my boss I wanted a break from travels. I told him to get me something where I didn’t have to be a beatnik in the sky, downing adderall instead of Benzedrine. I want to go on juice fasts, bike rides, surfing, and work in my spare time. I’ll even take a pay cut. Hold the phone, I found out I don’t have to take a pay cut. Because of my encyclopedia like knowledge of rock and roll I could ‘play’ a rock and roll manager. Only it wouldn’t be a movie. It would be real life. I’d be talking to booking agents, etc. But I wasn’t in over my head. Andy diamond over at real life management would be talking me through the hard parts, and dealing with the practical aspects of the music business. I would be band psychologist, and spy. See, our boy Jimmy has information we want. It’s information that is so deep in him that he doesn’t even realize anybody would desire it. But it’s there. He’s the son of a mastermind. Sir Daniel Friday. The key is, we don’t need all the information at once. And we eventually want him to work for us. But we must make the spider desire the web. Why the government wants thousands of pages of dossiers on somebody who wants nothing to do with them baffles me. But it’s my work, and money makes the world go around. But music is the axis from what it spins. So I’m just going to have to let it whirl. Can I order you a drink? I’ll have the irish car bomb, but I’m not gonna dunk the shot glass into the Guinness, I’m just going to pour the likor in cause I’m a bit of a germophobe.
So our man jimmy thinks he’s some kind of modern day joe strummer. He’s never been the same since he saw the doc. About him at the nuart. The future is unwritten, it was called. He saw a film star washing his hands in the bathroom and didn’t say hello. But he did shout out, ‘wasn’t that awesome?’ and found it funny that this star was the son of an actress who’s most famous movie’s actor had one of his obscure early flicks showing in the future at the nuart and was shown in the trailer. He ran down the street in a manic skip, popped in his car rolled home. Once there, he got out his beat up graffiti sprayed macbook pro and began pecking in his online blog.
IN THE NEW BaND THERE WE won’t have a website. We will be all word of mouth. Possible band names: tantrum, vinyl clocks. Need to get some cool skinny ties and suspenders. Need to get a suit and spill paint on it. Only get band members that won’t sell out. Play venues downtown, like Rosebud, the smell. It’s not about the money.
So the way I’m going to get through to him is through sublety. I’ll go to some of his gigs, give him my card. It works every time. Let him know I’m no a&r guy. I’m an artist myself. Even have some of my very own songs on itunes. He’s not going to know what hit him.
Jimmy’s flat at the million dollar hotel. Plastic glow crucifix on a statue of Buddha. A book called the gospel of levi, which recounts jesus’s lost years. A carafe halfway filled with rice sake. A towel hung on the shower, used for drying hands and drying after bathing. Most of all the view. The view is that there is no view. His first room without a view. But that’s the price of freedom. No more record deal, the advance from jaw2jaw ran out long ago. No more trust fund, no more nothin’. Didn’t bother jimmy that much. Well, maybe a little bit. As ice cube said, mo money mo problems. His favorite watering hole a block down. His one stop lkor shop on the way. He told igor he wanted the camel reds where it said $6 and pleasantly reprimanded him when charged $7. He couldn’t let that stuff go anymore. He no longer had more money then god. And who’s hanging out at the watering hole? Let’s have a look see. Plenty of USC girls from new york city. Harboring a secret love for the new downtown because it’s reminding them more and more of the home they left behind. Personal assistants for actors who want to be actors, waiters who want to sing. It was perfect. He opened his journal and thought about Leah, the beautiful young woman who claimed to be one of the enlightened ones of the new age. They call them indigo children. She inspired this:
indigo, don’t say you gotta go:
crush is when the colors come out.
He thought about powdered incense, how it had to be crushed to smell good. He thought about Indigo leaving his flat, giving him nothing but a kiss on the cheek and that stomach ache that wouldn’t leave for a week. Hopeless romantic? No you would have gotten one too if you were a 26 year old straight male. Then he wrote down:
No more Girls.
For now.
They always got him off track. Like the last one. He wrote this for her:
It’s not your fault. You’re all the rage.
Addicted to angst but you’ve got great legs.
You will not download
Her emotional hardware
She’s bound to break
But acts like she don’t care
she’s beautiful but an emotional brain-bot
they taught her from birth
to be a dilettante
pharmaceutical clone with a large evil eye
it takes a semester just to learn how to cry.
Get ready for electrical brainwaves
Helmets visors and headphones too
We’ll get instructions
How to start our life all over again if that’s what we choose!
Hone in perfect detail
Lasers seen holographically
Spinning shapes so geometrical
Satellite systems I’m absorbed
In the screen
I’ve died / been reborn
Into a warrior never torn between what’s right and wrong
I live for the rye and the song. Human tongue/ snake tongue.
Then his cell phone rang. It was me.
‘We gonna do that audition?’ I asked. ‘Because I have somebody I think would be a great guitar player. He went to Berklee, and he’s amazing.’
‘I don’t want any jazz heads,’ he said. ‘I mean, I like coltrane, mingus, miles, as much as the next guy but I’m not looking for some dude with a strap on metronome.’
‘just shut up. Have I been wrong before? And I’ve got a great bass player for you too.’
‘Just as long as he’s into peter hook and eric avery.’
‘She’s like your twin.’
‘SHE? Is she pretty?’
‘That’s irrelevant. Be there tomorrow at noon.’
Honestly, I wasn’t sure how to go about the audition. All I knew is who had to be the chosen ones. Jimmy and his drummer Johnny 2 times were a given. And so were the chosen ones. Ziggy was already a master, but I had him study every note of the first 3 janes addiction albums and bought him an instructional video of Dave Navarro. He arrived to the audition with his long legs sticking out of his blue shorts which had long zippers going all the way to the bottom. He had a funky red tuxedo shirt with a black tie. It sounds odd but it kind of worked. Tina Dahl didn’t have to worry about her appearance. She was beautiful in the fishnet stockings, high heels that take talent to walk in, and a perfectly made up face with luscious red lips to match her strawberry red hair. She pulled out her red Gibson sg bass and was ready to go.
‘I don’t use any pedals, I just want to plug right in,’ she said. I had them wait a little while as we tried out some people from and ad we ran on craigslist. There were still plenty of old timers still trying to live the dream. Along with some straight out of rehabbers and other various burnouts. Good people, hearts in the right places, some were even skilled. But the timing was off. And rock and roll is all about timing. By the time Tina and Ziggy were ready, jimmy and Johnny were ready for action. They plunged into some old jaw2jaw favorites, and then mountain song by janes addiction. It was an easy fit, a cinderella’s shoe. Jimmy nodded me to come to the back room.
‘ok, I owe you one,’ he said.
Believe me, it’s not always this easy.
‘Shut the fuck up, this isn’t funny,’ Martin Siegel roared into the phone. Usually he wasn’t like this. He thought I was toying with him. I wasn’t. ‘jaw to jaw is one of my favorite bands. You can’t be serious.’
‘We’ve searched everyone in the database. There’s a few other notable musicians, but we are attracted to the fact that you specialize in guitar. In other words, that’s aLL you specialize in, in terms of music. and you’ve got the right taste for the band.’
‘This doesn’t make sense. So this is some kind of under cover job? Like I have to keep tabs on him or something?’
‘Just think of it like you’re journaling about the details of someone’s character. Oh, and also, you need to protect him. We don’t want him harmed. We just want to know what he’s up to. And you need to be able to rock, which you are.’
‘This is too bizarre. I feel like I’m in a movie. Shit. Does this mean I have to live in l. a.?’
‘Yeah, you’ll like it. And think of a pseudonymn.’
‘That’s easy. Ziggy Prague. I made it up on tour like a decade ago. Prague was my favorite city.’
‘Why?’
‘The girls.’
Band Meeting.
We all got into a room. All I know is it was by a pool table. Oh, and it was in a restaurant shaped like the titanic. It was a few blocks from the Wiltern. Don’t even ask how many shows I’ve been to there. The pogues was my favorite one.
‘So now we gotta think of a band name.’
“So we’re in?” Ziggy pounced. He still couldn’t believe it.
Jimmy took a swig from his black coffee and muttered, ‘of course.’ He sat at the head of the table like he was the CEO. He leaned forward a bit.
‘I’ve been thinking. One of my favorite bands from the early 80’s is the police. Ever thought how funny it is that they called themselves The Police?’
‘oh here we go,’ I thought.
‘Every band needs a myles Copeland. You’re our myles Copeland,’ he waved a finger toward me. ‘Did you know he’s the drummer Stuart’s brother?’
I nodded slightly, knowing the whole story. They were raised in Lebanon, along with the other brother Ian, whom I saw speak at the Roosevelt hotel before he passed away. He had run IRS records which had REM and the gogo’s, among others.
‘and their dad was in the cia.’ His eyes darted toward me knowingly.
‘shit,’ I thought. ‘Is he in on something?’
‘I was thinking. We could call the band Cia. What do you guys think?
Tina and Ziggy looked at each other for a brief second then looked away.
‘kind of weird,’ kwipped Johnny 2 times, not needing to be the yes man.
‘I like it,’ said tina, looking at me. ‘It’s endearing.’
Ziggy was back in his apartment in santa monica, trying to contain his excitement. Had I actually done something right in my life? He thought to himself. There had been no party in his soul before. Now there was a rager. He had to write.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
colleges
http://customsites.yahoo.com/financiallyfit/finance/article-108974-4378-3-15-higher-education-values?ywaad=ad0035
Sunday, February 14, 2010
रेतिरेमेंट speech
When I think about my dad, I think of the quote ‘genius is eternal patience’ by Michelangelo. The reason I think of this particular saying is that often times John Ferrick has ideas that appear eccentric, but usually he has the last laugh. Like the karate kid questioning mr. miyagi, the Ferrick boys sometimes questioned some of his methods growing up, not always realizing there was sometimes a reason and a purpose for ‘wax on, wax off.’ I think the older I get the more I appreciate dad’s unconventional ways, and I often, although not always, find myself agreeing with him in ways I didn’t before.
The retirement of John Ferrick is a milestone in our family history. It reaffirms our belief in miracles. I personally wasn’t sure as of a year or two ago whether my dad was going to retire at all. It seemed as if he was going to keep working forever. I’m pleased that he has decided to move on so that he can persue other interests in his life. And now he can finally get a little rest! I remember my dad waking up early every morning, for years, and leaving for work at the crack of dawn. He not only put in a lot of overtime at the post office, in an environment that wasn’t always conducive to his well being, and on top of that he put in a lot of time as a union representative, for many years being President of the union. He did certain things at the Post Office that I’m sure he’ll be remembered for, like fighting to have cigarette smoking banned indoors, which I’m sure wasn’t a popular decision with a lot of the employees, but one that many other people surely appreciated.
And he’s apparently going out without a whimper- I just found out he’s decided to continue contributing writing articles for the union newsletter. I like reading them, as they’re filled with honest insight, stoic and philosophical wit in an environment where such wisdom is needed even if not always welcomed. I think that place is going to miss my dad. As I was driving by the post office in December, I realized it was first time in my entire life that I was passing by it and my father was no longer working there. So, after growing up in south central los angeles, going to catholic high school, surviving Vietnam and over 38 years at work, it’s time for Dad to relax or not to relax, deciding his next move in peace. And I gotta say for 64 years old, he’s still looking pretty young and is still full of hip ideas. So we’re expecting the next miracle: those two 1954 chevys in the back yard will be running in no time. Thanks dad for all the sacrifices you made for us, take a deep breath and enjoy a very significant birthday celebration.
The retirement of John Ferrick is a milestone in our family history. It reaffirms our belief in miracles. I personally wasn’t sure as of a year or two ago whether my dad was going to retire at all. It seemed as if he was going to keep working forever. I’m pleased that he has decided to move on so that he can persue other interests in his life. And now he can finally get a little rest! I remember my dad waking up early every morning, for years, and leaving for work at the crack of dawn. He not only put in a lot of overtime at the post office, in an environment that wasn’t always conducive to his well being, and on top of that he put in a lot of time as a union representative, for many years being President of the union. He did certain things at the Post Office that I’m sure he’ll be remembered for, like fighting to have cigarette smoking banned indoors, which I’m sure wasn’t a popular decision with a lot of the employees, but one that many other people surely appreciated.
And he’s apparently going out without a whimper- I just found out he’s decided to continue contributing writing articles for the union newsletter. I like reading them, as they’re filled with honest insight, stoic and philosophical wit in an environment where such wisdom is needed even if not always welcomed. I think that place is going to miss my dad. As I was driving by the post office in December, I realized it was first time in my entire life that I was passing by it and my father was no longer working there. So, after growing up in south central los angeles, going to catholic high school, surviving Vietnam and over 38 years at work, it’s time for Dad to relax or not to relax, deciding his next move in peace. And I gotta say for 64 years old, he’s still looking pretty young and is still full of hip ideas. So we’re expecting the next miracle: those two 1954 chevys in the back yard will be running in no time. Thanks dad for all the sacrifices you made for us, take a deep breath and enjoy a very significant birthday celebration.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Maximum U
Working with what is.
First thing to realize about your life is to understand that if you want to change and develop a better future you must accept what you are right now. That means that your pain and regret that you feel has been holding you back can actually become that what propels you forward.
Whatever is getting in the way of you living completely in bliss is in the past. Getting that out of the way and being related with life as it is, Is what matters. Instead of pretending you have all the answers, you should get into a space of speculation- not resolution. Resolve to not need to know the final answer in this space of time. That takes the psychic pressure off of you and causes a more peaceful solution to spring forth from within you. You must realize that there is no kwik fix- just try to do better slowly but surely, as if chipping away at an invisible stone.
Forming new Brain Patterns-
The Brain matrix- stand in nothingness as if you are starting all over again. If you can create anything at all for your life, what would it be? Is it now time to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality? Is falling in love with the harmful aspects of your personality, your comfort zone, keeping you from being who you could fully be?
The essence of attraction- this is related to being committed to ideals, yet unattached to the outcome. “I am” is referring to something you think you are. There is no past, if you really think about it. There is no “self either. You have to have a superior cause that is worth giving your past to.
Don’t sell out to being practical. Be unreasonable. Does the present existence, the drama you are playing out enliven you? If not, take this current moment to change your position. Restart the chess game, reprogramming your brain. You can do this.
Power comes through the simplest way. Simplicity is your essence. It’s who you’ve always been the core. If it wasn’t for all the trauma you have endured throughout your life, you would be living simply. But because of pain and the need to avoid suffering your life has become complicated. Through trying to heal ourselves we’ve often made our wounds worse. The best way to confront this reality is to humbly realize that many times you could have chosen a better route, but that you have tried your best. You are only human, stop beating up yourself.
How can you live the rest of your life in endless exuberance? If there was a way to live in a higher vibration, would you be willing to make the necessary changes? Whatever is getting in the way of getting what you want, be willing to give that up, in such a way as if you were slowly peeling an onion. Getting into your new rhythm slowly is key to lasting change.
Keep your eyes and ears opened for serendipitous opportunities. Keep aware of coincidences and synergy of life. Create power using full yet simple language in your every day reality. Simplicity is elegance.
Prepare for miracles, and reorganize your view of reality. Instead of telling people about your ideas, share them. Make everybody who you love and respect part of your dream. If somebody does not fit into your movie, edit them out.
There are no loopholes. Become a reality junky. Reality is more endlessly fascinating then any altered state could ever be. Don’t be afraid of feeling tired. What do you have in your life that is worth being fully present to? Find something every morning that is worth throwing the covers off of your bed and jumping into the shower.
You are not the fixed identity you think you are. Your ego, your concerns, past nightmares.
Failure is not fatality. If I fail the game, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure. There is too much fear of failure in the world. You are living out the real punishment of an unreal story.
Positive thinking doesn’t solve negative thinking. You must go beyond them by being moved and inspired, giving up hopelessness and hope.
Occurring impossible does not = impossible.
Don’t think you’ll ever get to the top of the mountain where everything is perfected. There is no ‘it’s difficult’ in reality- these negative aspects only actually occur in words.
You were born whole and complete, until you said ‘something’s wrong here.’ You must do the work that is laid in front of you. You must deal with what is not whole and complete- that which persistently keeps you from being the maximum you. You know that you have dealt with something effectively if It no longer disturbs you. It is time to knock over every fear like your bowling down balls. Until nothing negatively affects you any more.
What if it feels impossible to capably deal with this stuff? There is a solution for every problem, simply because of the fact that it happened in distance time and space. You didn’t start out with these problems, and you can lose them.
There is a difference between uneducated and stupid. Become a master of distinction. Share where you have not been authentic. Create a new possibility, then be it. Create new possibilities, and learn to give yourself and the universe instructions.
Learn to love the bullshit. Love the unworkability of life. Learn to embrace the chaos. You can be with people- the story of fear is what stops you- not the fear itself.
We are all going to fail in life. Which means there is absolute freedom to fail in any other game. Our comfort zone is what inhibits freedom, along with our ego need to be seen as correct. Even some of our strengths come from this lack of freedom. What happens is that in your youth, something disappointing occurs as failure in our own mind. This creates your ego defenses, which keeps you from being fully present with other human beings.
High concern for failure logically makes no sense. You don’t need the white picket fence, or all the other sundries that everybody tries to convince you that you need. They don’t need them either.
Experience being someone else. I don’t have to try to be the best if I get rid of everything but the best. Brainwash yourself.
Using the knowledge of physics which we are all subject to, to improve your life. For something to exist, there is a condition that needs to be present. For instance, there can be no life on earth without water. We don’t relate to ourselves as clear. We think of ourselves as separate, with a fixed way of existence. In nature you can’t have a vacuum- you must fill your void with the best stuff on earth. Not the shit that you’ve been piling up because of your past traumatic experiences. These only give you the same results over and over.
One phenomenon about your past condition is that you continue to perpetrate this reality by the words and language that you use. Who you are is nothing, so reinvent yourself. If you weren’t your delusions, what could you possibly accomplish? What has allowed that condition to be available? Get out of your own way. Icing on the mudpie. You now have the ability to dissolve your problems, simply by receiving permission from a source outside of yourself, which validates what you already know.
Brainwashing yourself- what if the way you have been living is actually unreal? The old self, the self from the past. This all arises from the words and language you assign to your problems. Stop acknowledging them and from lack of care they will dissolve. Try to do this little by little, not all at once. Nobody can do your work for you however, and don’t expect it to be easy. The invention of yourself is a game. But it’s a game you can reprogram. Be in touch with the source of your own power to such a degree that you become in control of a total transformation. Get rid of brick walls. Once an environment get’s created, what is possible is very simple. Reinvent yourself. Romantic rock and roler. A stud with courage. And although you have the ability to reinvent yourself, don’t get stuck with that invention. Only use it for as long as it serves your cause. To get stuck on your invention=craziness. From where am I inventing myself? Out of nothingness- whatever I invent is a possibility. We think the future is predictable because our past has been in our future. What direction has your life been moving in? wouldn’t you rather cause the orbit of your experience move in a more positive direction? There has been too much past in your future. Get it out now.
The not you yet= ‘I gotta figure this out- what is my realm of future possibilitys?’ stop and think about how great life could be if you’d stop selling yourself short. What are you inventing yourself as? What realm of possibility could you be giving yourself that you aren’t? who are you a possibility for? Everyone. The clearing for joy. People get joy from you being your highest self. Don’t deprive them of this. Also, have them hold you accountable. Share and contribute and praise your peers for their criticisms.
In your life, you got circumstances. These come from beyond choice. They aren’t your fault, but you can choose how you respond. Reinvent your new choices every day. Write down what your are slowly willing to say goodbye to. Changing the wheel over, molding the clay. Transforming my transformation. If www.goherenext.com you’re the only point in the universe, is there location? Possibility doesn’t actually physically exist however. You cannot point to possibility- but it can be created. Who am i: social. What am I giving up? Solitary. How do I make it real? It’s that I can invent that matters.
I invent someone with perfect hygiene and health.
Deliver that which makes a difference. Give up the way people “occur” for you. What are you concerned with? Empower and enable people to be transformed by your transformation.
Transformation machine- this is what you are now. Create a new view of yourself today. Embrace your faith and you will soon come clean. Inspire us all: closed minds are unwise and not fun. Create a future as if you’re creating a new game. Be like tom sawyer.
Integrity is good karma because when you are full of it, you must take action. When you are not true to yourself, you become lazy and full of slow energies. It is extremely important that your actions are true to who you are. Integrity is the key to success. Your identity should not be tied to your skills. As you begin to take action in your life, there will always be obstacles in your way. Think of these obstacles as a sign that your are going on the right track.
You must figure out your unique command. It is a defense mechanism that we all have. Here are some:
Don’t screw with me.
I am easily offended.
I don’t need your help.
I don’t need anybody.
Speculate what kind of projects you could take on if you would be willing to give up a unique command. For instance, you may have the command ‘I don’t need your help’ and somebody tries to help you launch a business but you sabotage it because of a subconscious need to prove your command right. Are you trying so hard to appear correct that you do this kind of stuff? What are the dreams you’ve given up on over the years that you could go back to after discarding your unique command?
The capacity to share and contribute. Power is a function of distinction- for instance, larry bird. He’s not the best ball player in the world. But yet he formed a niche.
See things others cannot see. There are no problems in reality. For instance, your career is not taking off. Or your not making enough money. In reality, these actually aren’t problems. You must learn to have tunnel vision for your desire.
I want x but y.
Rethink the problem from this formula. Rethink and recreate a new realm of possibility. Be present and get complete with your past. Start to get interested in that which lights you up. What is it? Take action on your commitments. Explosions of expressions.
Path to adventure: enlivened, fulfilled, turned on, inspired nature of commitments – honor your word, be brave, principles, being inspiring, stand up for what is right.
My character’s limitations:
So the new story of your life can run uninterrupted:
Short attention span: to jump to only what is very enlivened.
Create the space of a new realm of possibility for commitment- hidden and undeclared commitments are not bad. Have the courage to be authentic about your having been inauthentic. Unencumbered is not free. When I am people pleasing, I’m not doing what I want. Living from a weak center instead of a strong core- not feeling free- feeling owed constantly.
Alive and free- who can you be right now?
Speculate on the possibilities- a person who is a master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play. Deal with what is actually happening. Mastery- dealing with exactly what the I you think is. Get out of your own way! Your love for your own well being is preventing you from seeing what’s right in front of your eyes.
“he who tries to save his life will lose it” Christ
you’re trying not to suffer- you want to look good so you put on a constant disguise. Out of desperation you deadened your communication, and it gets worse every day. Remember: you cannot be great and small at the same time.
Source of action= source of results when you’re lit up you’re lit up, even if there is failure present. What is the source of action? Understanding + knowledge. Performance comes from action. Actions are a correlate. We don’t live like life is currently occurring.
Perception has to do with biology.
Human beings mess up commitments, turning being committed into being perfect. Nature of expectation- unfulfilled.
First thing to realize about your life is to understand that if you want to change and develop a better future you must accept what you are right now. That means that your pain and regret that you feel has been holding you back can actually become that what propels you forward.
Whatever is getting in the way of you living completely in bliss is in the past. Getting that out of the way and being related with life as it is, Is what matters. Instead of pretending you have all the answers, you should get into a space of speculation- not resolution. Resolve to not need to know the final answer in this space of time. That takes the psychic pressure off of you and causes a more peaceful solution to spring forth from within you. You must realize that there is no kwik fix- just try to do better slowly but surely, as if chipping away at an invisible stone.
Forming new Brain Patterns-
The Brain matrix- stand in nothingness as if you are starting all over again. If you can create anything at all for your life, what would it be? Is it now time to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality? Is falling in love with the harmful aspects of your personality, your comfort zone, keeping you from being who you could fully be?
The essence of attraction- this is related to being committed to ideals, yet unattached to the outcome. “I am” is referring to something you think you are. There is no past, if you really think about it. There is no “self either. You have to have a superior cause that is worth giving your past to.
Don’t sell out to being practical. Be unreasonable. Does the present existence, the drama you are playing out enliven you? If not, take this current moment to change your position. Restart the chess game, reprogramming your brain. You can do this.
Power comes through the simplest way. Simplicity is your essence. It’s who you’ve always been the core. If it wasn’t for all the trauma you have endured throughout your life, you would be living simply. But because of pain and the need to avoid suffering your life has become complicated. Through trying to heal ourselves we’ve often made our wounds worse. The best way to confront this reality is to humbly realize that many times you could have chosen a better route, but that you have tried your best. You are only human, stop beating up yourself.
How can you live the rest of your life in endless exuberance? If there was a way to live in a higher vibration, would you be willing to make the necessary changes? Whatever is getting in the way of getting what you want, be willing to give that up, in such a way as if you were slowly peeling an onion. Getting into your new rhythm slowly is key to lasting change.
Keep your eyes and ears opened for serendipitous opportunities. Keep aware of coincidences and synergy of life. Create power using full yet simple language in your every day reality. Simplicity is elegance.
Prepare for miracles, and reorganize your view of reality. Instead of telling people about your ideas, share them. Make everybody who you love and respect part of your dream. If somebody does not fit into your movie, edit them out.
There are no loopholes. Become a reality junky. Reality is more endlessly fascinating then any altered state could ever be. Don’t be afraid of feeling tired. What do you have in your life that is worth being fully present to? Find something every morning that is worth throwing the covers off of your bed and jumping into the shower.
You are not the fixed identity you think you are. Your ego, your concerns, past nightmares.
Failure is not fatality. If I fail the game, it doesn’t mean I’m a failure. There is too much fear of failure in the world. You are living out the real punishment of an unreal story.
Positive thinking doesn’t solve negative thinking. You must go beyond them by being moved and inspired, giving up hopelessness and hope.
Occurring impossible does not = impossible.
Don’t think you’ll ever get to the top of the mountain where everything is perfected. There is no ‘it’s difficult’ in reality- these negative aspects only actually occur in words.
You were born whole and complete, until you said ‘something’s wrong here.’ You must do the work that is laid in front of you. You must deal with what is not whole and complete- that which persistently keeps you from being the maximum you. You know that you have dealt with something effectively if It no longer disturbs you. It is time to knock over every fear like your bowling down balls. Until nothing negatively affects you any more.
What if it feels impossible to capably deal with this stuff? There is a solution for every problem, simply because of the fact that it happened in distance time and space. You didn’t start out with these problems, and you can lose them.
There is a difference between uneducated and stupid. Become a master of distinction. Share where you have not been authentic. Create a new possibility, then be it. Create new possibilities, and learn to give yourself and the universe instructions.
Learn to love the bullshit. Love the unworkability of life. Learn to embrace the chaos. You can be with people- the story of fear is what stops you- not the fear itself.
We are all going to fail in life. Which means there is absolute freedom to fail in any other game. Our comfort zone is what inhibits freedom, along with our ego need to be seen as correct. Even some of our strengths come from this lack of freedom. What happens is that in your youth, something disappointing occurs as failure in our own mind. This creates your ego defenses, which keeps you from being fully present with other human beings.
High concern for failure logically makes no sense. You don’t need the white picket fence, or all the other sundries that everybody tries to convince you that you need. They don’t need them either.
Experience being someone else. I don’t have to try to be the best if I get rid of everything but the best. Brainwash yourself.
Using the knowledge of physics which we are all subject to, to improve your life. For something to exist, there is a condition that needs to be present. For instance, there can be no life on earth without water. We don’t relate to ourselves as clear. We think of ourselves as separate, with a fixed way of existence. In nature you can’t have a vacuum- you must fill your void with the best stuff on earth. Not the shit that you’ve been piling up because of your past traumatic experiences. These only give you the same results over and over.
One phenomenon about your past condition is that you continue to perpetrate this reality by the words and language that you use. Who you are is nothing, so reinvent yourself. If you weren’t your delusions, what could you possibly accomplish? What has allowed that condition to be available? Get out of your own way. Icing on the mudpie. You now have the ability to dissolve your problems, simply by receiving permission from a source outside of yourself, which validates what you already know.
Brainwashing yourself- what if the way you have been living is actually unreal? The old self, the self from the past. This all arises from the words and language you assign to your problems. Stop acknowledging them and from lack of care they will dissolve. Try to do this little by little, not all at once. Nobody can do your work for you however, and don’t expect it to be easy. The invention of yourself is a game. But it’s a game you can reprogram. Be in touch with the source of your own power to such a degree that you become in control of a total transformation. Get rid of brick walls. Once an environment get’s created, what is possible is very simple. Reinvent yourself. Romantic rock and roler. A stud with courage. And although you have the ability to reinvent yourself, don’t get stuck with that invention. Only use it for as long as it serves your cause. To get stuck on your invention=craziness. From where am I inventing myself? Out of nothingness- whatever I invent is a possibility. We think the future is predictable because our past has been in our future. What direction has your life been moving in? wouldn’t you rather cause the orbit of your experience move in a more positive direction? There has been too much past in your future. Get it out now.
The not you yet= ‘I gotta figure this out- what is my realm of future possibilitys?’ stop and think about how great life could be if you’d stop selling yourself short. What are you inventing yourself as? What realm of possibility could you be giving yourself that you aren’t? who are you a possibility for? Everyone. The clearing for joy. People get joy from you being your highest self. Don’t deprive them of this. Also, have them hold you accountable. Share and contribute and praise your peers for their criticisms.
In your life, you got circumstances. These come from beyond choice. They aren’t your fault, but you can choose how you respond. Reinvent your new choices every day. Write down what your are slowly willing to say goodbye to. Changing the wheel over, molding the clay. Transforming my transformation. If www.goherenext.com you’re the only point in the universe, is there location? Possibility doesn’t actually physically exist however. You cannot point to possibility- but it can be created. Who am i: social. What am I giving up? Solitary. How do I make it real? It’s that I can invent that matters.
I invent someone with perfect hygiene and health.
Deliver that which makes a difference. Give up the way people “occur” for you. What are you concerned with? Empower and enable people to be transformed by your transformation.
Transformation machine- this is what you are now. Create a new view of yourself today. Embrace your faith and you will soon come clean. Inspire us all: closed minds are unwise and not fun. Create a future as if you’re creating a new game. Be like tom sawyer.
Integrity is good karma because when you are full of it, you must take action. When you are not true to yourself, you become lazy and full of slow energies. It is extremely important that your actions are true to who you are. Integrity is the key to success. Your identity should not be tied to your skills. As you begin to take action in your life, there will always be obstacles in your way. Think of these obstacles as a sign that your are going on the right track.
You must figure out your unique command. It is a defense mechanism that we all have. Here are some:
Don’t screw with me.
I am easily offended.
I don’t need your help.
I don’t need anybody.
Speculate what kind of projects you could take on if you would be willing to give up a unique command. For instance, you may have the command ‘I don’t need your help’ and somebody tries to help you launch a business but you sabotage it because of a subconscious need to prove your command right. Are you trying so hard to appear correct that you do this kind of stuff? What are the dreams you’ve given up on over the years that you could go back to after discarding your unique command?
The capacity to share and contribute. Power is a function of distinction- for instance, larry bird. He’s not the best ball player in the world. But yet he formed a niche.
See things others cannot see. There are no problems in reality. For instance, your career is not taking off. Or your not making enough money. In reality, these actually aren’t problems. You must learn to have tunnel vision for your desire.
I want x but y.
Rethink the problem from this formula. Rethink and recreate a new realm of possibility. Be present and get complete with your past. Start to get interested in that which lights you up. What is it? Take action on your commitments. Explosions of expressions.
Path to adventure: enlivened, fulfilled, turned on, inspired nature of commitments – honor your word, be brave, principles, being inspiring, stand up for what is right.
My character’s limitations:
So the new story of your life can run uninterrupted:
Short attention span: to jump to only what is very enlivened.
Create the space of a new realm of possibility for commitment- hidden and undeclared commitments are not bad. Have the courage to be authentic about your having been inauthentic. Unencumbered is not free. When I am people pleasing, I’m not doing what I want. Living from a weak center instead of a strong core- not feeling free- feeling owed constantly.
Alive and free- who can you be right now?
Speculate on the possibilities- a person who is a master in the art of living makes little distinction between work and play. Deal with what is actually happening. Mastery- dealing with exactly what the I you think is. Get out of your own way! Your love for your own well being is preventing you from seeing what’s right in front of your eyes.
“he who tries to save his life will lose it” Christ
you’re trying not to suffer- you want to look good so you put on a constant disguise. Out of desperation you deadened your communication, and it gets worse every day. Remember: you cannot be great and small at the same time.
Source of action= source of results when you’re lit up you’re lit up, even if there is failure present. What is the source of action? Understanding + knowledge. Performance comes from action. Actions are a correlate. We don’t live like life is currently occurring.
Perception has to do with biology.
Human beings mess up commitments, turning being committed into being perfect. Nature of expectation- unfulfilled.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
andnow
that the poetry I have put up on this page sounds very ‘woe is me.’ Well maybe that’s when I write the most, when I’m feeling that way. All of these etchings are straight out of my journal, and I felt no need to hold back, because my whole life all I’ve ever done is hold back. So if it sounds ‘woe is me,’ well, even though I love life and being alive, my time on the planet has been, I wouldn’t say easy, although that is what has given me the dirt from which to grow my flowers. Am I complaining? No I’m expressing things exactly as I feel they are. If it’s too ‘woe is me’ than maybe I should be in therapy instead of opening my vein and spilling my blood on everybody else.
Friday, January 29, 2010
met Jaime in January of 06, the day I moved to Los angeles. I had lived there a couple of times before, the last time being the year 2000. I had taken the California Shuttle Bus down from San Francisco. I planned to meet a Drummer. We were hanging out at his place, and then he said,
"I met this guy who plays rockabilly. He wants me to be his drummer, but i don't really like his kind of music. He's pretty cool though, want to come with us to a bar?" I figured why not. Soon the dude arrived.
"Hey, my name's Jaime. Jaime Sol Black."
"Jaime so what?" I remember thinking. He definitely wasn't shy. He grabbed my guitar and started singing one of his songs. Then he looked up and said-
"on this part, i want some girls to sing backup vocals."
Who is this guy? I thought. Bit of a maniac. He was funny though. He couldn't stop talking about PBR and his punk rock friends from back in New York. He liked my Operation Ivy shirt and asked me if I wanted to play Bass for his band.
"Well, I want to start my own band."
"You can do that too. You can play in my band and start your own band."
He seemed pretty adventurous and I liked that, like he'd be ready to go tour to Europe at the drop of a hat. He had a pirate's instinct. He was also the brokest person I knew besides yours truly, so I knew he couldn't judge me for my impencunious lifestyle.
So we all ended up over at Obriens, which funny enough, 2 years later, we were playing there all the time. There was a band called Saucy Monky fronted by a really hot chick who claimed to be an ex stripper. She also somehow had finagled her way onto U2's jetplane. Jaime kept telling her she sounded like Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I didn't think so but I assume she took it as a compliment.
We soon made our way over to Jaime's to watch some movie with the Grateful Dead and Janis Joplin. I thought it was cool that Jaime wasn't a one dimensional punk rocker, that he had eclectic taste and was a bit of a beatnik as well.
"I met this guy who plays rockabilly. He wants me to be his drummer, but i don't really like his kind of music. He's pretty cool though, want to come with us to a bar?" I figured why not. Soon the dude arrived.
"Hey, my name's Jaime. Jaime Sol Black."
"Jaime so what?" I remember thinking. He definitely wasn't shy. He grabbed my guitar and started singing one of his songs. Then he looked up and said-
"on this part, i want some girls to sing backup vocals."
Who is this guy? I thought. Bit of a maniac. He was funny though. He couldn't stop talking about PBR and his punk rock friends from back in New York. He liked my Operation Ivy shirt and asked me if I wanted to play Bass for his band.
"Well, I want to start my own band."
"You can do that too. You can play in my band and start your own band."
He seemed pretty adventurous and I liked that, like he'd be ready to go tour to Europe at the drop of a hat. He had a pirate's instinct. He was also the brokest person I knew besides yours truly, so I knew he couldn't judge me for my impencunious lifestyle.
So we all ended up over at Obriens, which funny enough, 2 years later, we were playing there all the time. There was a band called Saucy Monky fronted by a really hot chick who claimed to be an ex stripper. She also somehow had finagled her way onto U2's jetplane. Jaime kept telling her she sounded like Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I didn't think so but I assume she took it as a compliment.
We soon made our way over to Jaime's to watch some movie with the Grateful Dead and Janis Joplin. I thought it was cool that Jaime wasn't a one dimensional punk rocker, that he had eclectic taste and was a bit of a beatnik as well.
First they poison us so we can't think
with soft drinks and pharmaceutical drugs
then they outlaw the vitamins
and things that are good for us
They squeeze us dry make us sweat for the money
then they take it back
there is no hope for tomorrow
all we do is sorrow tryin' no to get too far behind
Why you
robbin' the people blind
what did they ever do to you
to make them feel the way you do
and to do these things you do
Who do you send to run the wars
that are fought for your benefit
bought and paid for by
the working people's deficit
So you could line your pockets
with your money and bad deeds
causing people to suffer
because of the life you lead
what will you do
when all is said and done
when your life is over
and your the only one
left to pray for your soul
that you left behind
who screams and cries,
Why you
robbin'
the people
blind?
with soft drinks and pharmaceutical drugs
then they outlaw the vitamins
and things that are good for us
They squeeze us dry make us sweat for the money
then they take it back
there is no hope for tomorrow
all we do is sorrow tryin' no to get too far behind
Why you
robbin' the people blind
what did they ever do to you
to make them feel the way you do
and to do these things you do
Who do you send to run the wars
that are fought for your benefit
bought and paid for by
the working people's deficit
So you could line your pockets
with your money and bad deeds
causing people to suffer
because of the life you lead
what will you do
when all is said and done
when your life is over
and your the only one
left to pray for your soul
that you left behind
who screams and cries,
Why you
robbin'
the people
blind?
I met Jaime Sol Black on a january day in 2006. it was the day i moved back to the city of angels, in fact. That night we batted ideas back and forth, swigged guinness at o'brien's in santa monica and talked about band name ideas and music we liked. 2 years later we were playing that same bar as the Dirty Suits. after various changes of band personnel, and even after the coming and goings of yours truly, we managed to play over 40 gigs in 08. The Dirty Suits consist of Sir Daniel Raznick on lead guitar and vox, Johnny 'flyin' lion' Mitchell, on Drums and piano, and vox Jaime Sol Black on rhythm guitar, lead vox, and me, Jeremy Ferrick, on bass and vox.
Chapters of our tale include flying through south central los angeles and oakland. In South Central we played with an ever changing ensemble of cast mates in the garage of the ever so legendary Marshaune Mack. Playing around town, we made various stops at the Kibitz Room, Unknown Theater, O'Briens, and even a wild bacchanalian show at the vintage clothing shop on Abbot Kinney, the Stronghold, which was quite the night of revelry.
Guitarist Daniel Raznick, a practicing Buddhist and Soulful human being, has trained at Musician's Institute in Hollywood, studied and played with jazz greats, and enlightens the sound of the Dirty Suits with his groovy leads.
Drummer Johnny Mitchell, a venice beach celebrity in his own right via Shreveport Louisiana, Nashville, Club Med, and many other regions across the world, provides a strong backbeat, swagger and spirit that is beyond this universe.
Jaime Sol Black is a reincarnated Jack Kerouac- this time choosing to use his guitar as his muse. He's got moxie, he's got attitude, and he always has a new song to write.
as Dostoyevsky once said, true autobiography is an impossibility, so I'll leave that to Mr. Black.
Chapters of our tale include flying through south central los angeles and oakland. In South Central we played with an ever changing ensemble of cast mates in the garage of the ever so legendary Marshaune Mack. Playing around town, we made various stops at the Kibitz Room, Unknown Theater, O'Briens, and even a wild bacchanalian show at the vintage clothing shop on Abbot Kinney, the Stronghold, which was quite the night of revelry.
Guitarist Daniel Raznick, a practicing Buddhist and Soulful human being, has trained at Musician's Institute in Hollywood, studied and played with jazz greats, and enlightens the sound of the Dirty Suits with his groovy leads.
Drummer Johnny Mitchell, a venice beach celebrity in his own right via Shreveport Louisiana, Nashville, Club Med, and many other regions across the world, provides a strong backbeat, swagger and spirit that is beyond this universe.
Jaime Sol Black is a reincarnated Jack Kerouac- this time choosing to use his guitar as his muse. He's got moxie, he's got attitude, and he always has a new song to write.
as Dostoyevsky once said, true autobiography is an impossibility, so I'll leave that to Mr. Black.
I met Jaime Sol Black on a january day in 2006. it was the day i moved back to the city of angels, in fact. That night we batted ideas back and forth, swigged guinness at o'brien's in santa monica and talked about band name ideas and music we liked. 2 years later we were playing that same bar as the Dirty Suits. after various changes of band personnel, and even after the coming and goings of yours truly, we managed to play over 40 gigs in 08. The Dirty Suits consist of Sir Daniel Raznick on lead guitar and vox, Johnny 'flyin' lion' Mitchell, on Drums and piano, and vox Jaime Sol Black on rhythm guitar, lead vox, and me, Jeremy Ferrick, on bass and vox.
Chapters of our tale include flying through south central los angeles and oakland. In South Central we played with an ever changing ensemble of cast mates in the garage of the ever so legendary Marshaune Mack. Playing around town, we made various stops at the Kibitz Room, Unknown Theater, O'Briens, and even a wild bacchanalian show at the vintage clothing shop on Abbot Kinney, the Stronghold, which was quite the night of revelry.
Guitarist Daniel Raznick, a practicing Buddhist and Soulful human being, has trained at Musician's Institute in Hollywood, studied and played with jazz greats, and enlightens the sound of the Dirty Suits with his groovy leads.
Drummer Johnny Mitchell, a venice beach celebrity in his own right via Shreveport Louisiana, Nashville, Club Med, and many other regions across the world, provides a strong backbeat, swagger and spirit that is beyond this universe.
Jaime Sol Black is a reincarnated Jack Kerouac- this time choosing to use his guitar as his muse. He's got moxie, he's got attitude, and he always has a new song to write.
as Dostoyevsky once said, true autobiography is an impossibility, so I'll leave that to Mr. Black.
Chapters of our tale include flying through south central los angeles and oakland. In South Central we played with an ever changing ensemble of cast mates in the garage of the ever so legendary Marshaune Mack. Playing around town, we made various stops at the Kibitz Room, Unknown Theater, O'Briens, and even a wild bacchanalian show at the vintage clothing shop on Abbot Kinney, the Stronghold, which was quite the night of revelry.
Guitarist Daniel Raznick, a practicing Buddhist and Soulful human being, has trained at Musician's Institute in Hollywood, studied and played with jazz greats, and enlightens the sound of the Dirty Suits with his groovy leads.
Drummer Johnny Mitchell, a venice beach celebrity in his own right via Shreveport Louisiana, Nashville, Club Med, and many other regions across the world, provides a strong backbeat, swagger and spirit that is beyond this universe.
Jaime Sol Black is a reincarnated Jack Kerouac- this time choosing to use his guitar as his muse. He's got moxie, he's got attitude, and he always has a new song to write.
as Dostoyevsky once said, true autobiography is an impossibility, so I'll leave that to Mr. Black.
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