Well i don't have all my ducks in a row
so baby it's time to go.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
How long have you had your drummer and how did you meet?
Back in 96, I met him in San Francisco and have been working with him ever since: he plays on the albums, he's been on every tour. I've worked with drummers before that but it was sort of a revolving door policy. The first time I ever brought a drummer onstage was 1990. That was Phil from Consolidated. I had different drummers you know, it was like Spinal Tap- drummers dying in mysterious gardening accidents. (Laughs)
In regards to your liveshow, how much preparation goes into that, and are you considering all of that during the recording process? How does that affect the recording?
A lot of work goes into the visual side. Ten years ago, we didn't have the technology to do what we're doing. So, the music was definitely the first thing, and everything was built around that, where in the last few years it sort of drifted a bit into songs being written around the visuals. So at this point, it's sort of like fifty fifty. We'll find something like the guy from Heaven's Gate, and build a song around what he's saying, and how it breaks. It doesn't translate unless you're doing a DVD, so it's definitely more of a live thing. So we work the whole process out in rehearsals.
When you started out in the mid 80's, you were worked with Andy Partridge and XTC?
I was working in the studio, in Swindon. I quit school when I was sixteen, in 1981. I got a job working in their studio, doing tape Op, and making the tea, stuff like that. And that's where they were rehearsing for English Settlement, and that more or less corrupted me! Made me want to make music forever.
And you gravitated more to electronic music
I was definitely into electronic music by Kraftwerk, Human Leagues' first 2 albums, definitely Caberet Voltaire. But XTC was good because they mixed some of that stuff in with what they were doing, like he was into electronics. With his solo album, under Mr. Partridge, called 'Take Away,' had Dub versions of XTC. It was great, so, he was into that kind of music. He had Sequential Circuits, Prophet 5, in the studio that time. So yeah, Andy definitely helped me with my career.
Are you still in touch with him?
Yeah, I saw him just over a year ago. Bumped into him Swindon.
He's not doing any more recording as XTC?
I know they'd be carrying on if he didn't have the thing about not playing live. The first 3 years they were a touring band, but then that happened, the keyboard player went, etc.
With your current album, AutoImmune, how much of your creative expression comes through politically as opposed to personally?
If you listen to a nine inch nails record it's more me, I, etc. He's good at doing that. I tend, if I write lyrics, to look back at and take stuff out, leaving it more ambiguous and open ended. With politics you can have the opposite reaction, you can play with it more.
So how's the contrast of supporting a group like nine inch nails as opposed to headlining your own shows?
I prefer headlining our own shows. Even when you're a band as big as they are, you're playing these big festivals, you don't always even get a soundcheck, doesn't matter who you are when you're playing those. It's all pretty rough, you get a lot more leeway when you're doing your own shows headlining.
You're still remixing other artists?
Yeah, off and on. The last one I did was Excepter.
Do you have any favorite cities on tour?
New York, London's alright. Grew up there, spent so much time there. We were always playing in Amsterdam, Paris. San Francisco's always good!
You've lived there for a while now, does that inform your work? Living in America, as opposed to England?
Yeah, when you experience more. I lived in England for twenty six years in one town, Swindon. Anybody would want to get out after a while. But I don't think I'll be here forever. You get that alienation thing as well, when you've moved from your own country. Even if you're American and you move to Europe, like Johnny Depp living in France. People ask him why? Why did you move? You get the third degree. Doesn't matter which country you're from. Like when you do an interview with somebody in Britain, they always want to talk about, "Why did you leave? What's it like there?" Well, I bet if you had the opportunity you would too! If there's any country it would be here, especially with music, it's the number one market, then it's Japan, I don't know if Britain is as big as Germany or France, but they have all their own spoken language bands. Each country in Europe, you go to Holland, and they have a number one album but you've never heard of them. Over here, there's a formula, there's one language, more or less. People understand it.
Speaking of music, Is there anything lately that's come out that you really like?
I like Scorn's new album. It's great, an inspiration.
Tell me about your Synthi 100, you're still using that?
Yeah, but I can't take it on tour. It's bigger then this sofa. It's all in one unit, it's a really odd shape, you can't get it through the door.
Stockhausen used to use one right?
He did!
He's an influence, right?
Yeah, more his early stuff, later 60's, 70's, the theatrical stuff. More like Mauricio Kagel - he died recently, like a month ago.
The way they did it back then, it's not really done the same way any more. The craft, that's why I have a big collection of that stuff. There's no one who's making it like that any more. I'm big on that stuff. I've got a couple compilations out on Tino. I've got some stuff with music from Argentina, Chile,and Peru coming out.
When's that?
Next year, earlier part of the year. We clear everything, it's not like a bootleg.
Are you gonna tour for that?
No. That will just be produced on Flexi Disk.
How have you been enjoying this tour?
Well, this is a really short one, 4 shows.
But you were out earlier in the year?
Yeah, that was more a proper tour, 20 shows, you get into a rhythm. It's a lot more work.
What made you decide on living in San Francisco of all places?
I met my future wife. It's a beautiful place- nothing else like it in the States, it's open minded, not really like the rest of the country.
So in the beginning of your career there was a fire in your studio? Did you lose some of your early work from that?
It wasn't like everything was destroyed. But, the Master Tapes were unusable. But the stuff was recorded on 2 inch. That's why it's called "Storm the Studio," we had to quickly go back in the studio for two weeks.
So you didn't completely lose anything?
There was a couple tracks lost. Stuff got burnt in a flat, which was burnt to the ground. We were able to salvage some stuff, further into the tape. Like thee first couple inches were unusable, the main tracks the ones that were important to me, what you base the first few things around, they were OK. We were able to go back and Remix.
In one of your interviews, in the end you said "Meat is Murder." I was curious about your views on vegetarianism?
I used to be vegan, now I'm not so much.
When did you start with that?
Since working with Consolidated, Phil, it rubbed off on me in a good way. I've known a lot of vegetarians along through the years who have gone back to their old habits.
I think vegetarianism is the healthier choice, and I applaud you for putting it out there.
It's better for the ecology as well, deforestation, cattle, the amount of methane that goes into the air.
I woudn't want to ram it down anyone's throats. I put the message in there where I can without treading on meat eater's toes. But, yeah, Meat is Murder.
Back in 96, I met him in San Francisco and have been working with him ever since: he plays on the albums, he's been on every tour. I've worked with drummers before that but it was sort of a revolving door policy. The first time I ever brought a drummer onstage was 1990. That was Phil from Consolidated. I had different drummers you know, it was like Spinal Tap- drummers dying in mysterious gardening accidents. (Laughs)
In regards to your liveshow, how much preparation goes into that, and are you considering all of that during the recording process? How does that affect the recording?
A lot of work goes into the visual side. Ten years ago, we didn't have the technology to do what we're doing. So, the music was definitely the first thing, and everything was built around that, where in the last few years it sort of drifted a bit into songs being written around the visuals. So at this point, it's sort of like fifty fifty. We'll find something like the guy from Heaven's Gate, and build a song around what he's saying, and how it breaks. It doesn't translate unless you're doing a DVD, so it's definitely more of a live thing. So we work the whole process out in rehearsals.
When you started out in the mid 80's, you were worked with Andy Partridge and XTC?
I was working in the studio, in Swindon. I quit school when I was sixteen, in 1981. I got a job working in their studio, doing tape Op, and making the tea, stuff like that. And that's where they were rehearsing for English Settlement, and that more or less corrupted me! Made me want to make music forever.
And you gravitated more to electronic music
I was definitely into electronic music by Kraftwerk, Human Leagues' first 2 albums, definitely Caberet Voltaire. But XTC was good because they mixed some of that stuff in with what they were doing, like he was into electronics. With his solo album, under Mr. Partridge, called 'Take Away,' had Dub versions of XTC. It was great, so, he was into that kind of music. He had Sequential Circuits, Prophet 5, in the studio that time. So yeah, Andy definitely helped me with my career.
Are you still in touch with him?
Yeah, I saw him just over a year ago. Bumped into him Swindon.
He's not doing any more recording as XTC?
I know they'd be carrying on if he didn't have the thing about not playing live. The first 3 years they were a touring band, but then that happened, the keyboard player went, etc.
With your current album, AutoImmune, how much of your creative expression comes through politically as opposed to personally?
If you listen to a nine inch nails record it's more me, I, etc. He's good at doing that. I tend, if I write lyrics, to look back at and take stuff out, leaving it more ambiguous and open ended. With politics you can have the opposite reaction, you can play with it more.
So how's the contrast of supporting a group like nine inch nails as opposed to headlining your own shows?
I prefer headlining our own shows. Even when you're a band as big as they are, you're playing these big festivals, you don't always even get a soundcheck, doesn't matter who you are when you're playing those. It's all pretty rough, you get a lot more leeway when you're doing your own shows headlining.
You're still remixing other artists?
Yeah, off and on. The last one I did was Excepter.
Do you have any favorite cities on tour?
New York, London's alright. Grew up there, spent so much time there. We were always playing in Amsterdam, Paris. San Francisco's always good!
You've lived there for a while now, does that inform your work? Living in America, as opposed to England?
Yeah, when you experience more. I lived in England for twenty six years in one town, Swindon. Anybody would want to get out after a while. But I don't think I'll be here forever. You get that alienation thing as well, when you've moved from your own country. Even if you're American and you move to Europe, like Johnny Depp living in France. People ask him why? Why did you move? You get the third degree. Doesn't matter which country you're from. Like when you do an interview with somebody in Britain, they always want to talk about, "Why did you leave? What's it like there?" Well, I bet if you had the opportunity you would too! If there's any country it would be here, especially with music, it's the number one market, then it's Japan, I don't know if Britain is as big as Germany or France, but they have all their own spoken language bands. Each country in Europe, you go to Holland, and they have a number one album but you've never heard of them. Over here, there's a formula, there's one language, more or less. People understand it.
Speaking of music, Is there anything lately that's come out that you really like?
I like Scorn's new album. It's great, an inspiration.
Tell me about your Synthi 100, you're still using that?
Yeah, but I can't take it on tour. It's bigger then this sofa. It's all in one unit, it's a really odd shape, you can't get it through the door.
Stockhausen used to use one right?
He did!
He's an influence, right?
Yeah, more his early stuff, later 60's, 70's, the theatrical stuff. More like Mauricio Kagel - he died recently, like a month ago.
The way they did it back then, it's not really done the same way any more. The craft, that's why I have a big collection of that stuff. There's no one who's making it like that any more. I'm big on that stuff. I've got a couple compilations out on Tino. I've got some stuff with music from Argentina, Chile,and Peru coming out.
When's that?
Next year, earlier part of the year. We clear everything, it's not like a bootleg.
Are you gonna tour for that?
No. That will just be produced on Flexi Disk.
How have you been enjoying this tour?
Well, this is a really short one, 4 shows.
But you were out earlier in the year?
Yeah, that was more a proper tour, 20 shows, you get into a rhythm. It's a lot more work.
What made you decide on living in San Francisco of all places?
I met my future wife. It's a beautiful place- nothing else like it in the States, it's open minded, not really like the rest of the country.
So in the beginning of your career there was a fire in your studio? Did you lose some of your early work from that?
It wasn't like everything was destroyed. But, the Master Tapes were unusable. But the stuff was recorded on 2 inch. That's why it's called "Storm the Studio," we had to quickly go back in the studio for two weeks.
So you didn't completely lose anything?
There was a couple tracks lost. Stuff got burnt in a flat, which was burnt to the ground. We were able to salvage some stuff, further into the tape. Like thee first couple inches were unusable, the main tracks the ones that were important to me, what you base the first few things around, they were OK. We were able to go back and Remix.
In one of your interviews, in the end you said "Meat is Murder." I was curious about your views on vegetarianism?
I used to be vegan, now I'm not so much.
When did you start with that?
Since working with Consolidated, Phil, it rubbed off on me in a good way. I've known a lot of vegetarians along through the years who have gone back to their old habits.
I think vegetarianism is the healthier choice, and I applaud you for putting it out there.
It's better for the ecology as well, deforestation, cattle, the amount of methane that goes into the air.
I woudn't want to ram it down anyone's throats. I put the message in there where I can without treading on meat eater's toes. But, yeah, Meat is Murder.
Meat Beat Manifesto presents aural visual extravaganza at the Knitting Factory
When trying to put down words to describe a Meat Beat Manifesto Concert, I couldn't help but think of the Elvis Costello quote, "writing about music is like dancing about architecture." But of course, MBM is not just about music. In fact, In the beginning of the concert, there was a booming voice coming over the PA that declared, "Only 11% of what we learn comes from what we hear."
Drum solos, simulated collage of drummers sped up, slowed down. Pics. of chris walken, muppets playing, etc.
The visual in a performance, particularly a Meat Beat Manifesto concert, is very important. In the very first song there was a collage of Moogs and a clip of Marshall Applewhite of the notoriously suicidal Heavens Gate cult saying 'surivive,' over and over again. MBM's music provided an angsty backbeat as further clips of George Bush Sr., Jimi Hendrix, and footage from old movies entertained us on a double screen. There were pics of Old school microphones, typewriters, buttons, fractal patterns, number gauges, and a whole myriad of memes to delight and dance to. At the end of the first song there was MSNBC footage of a man being restrained by cops and than cutting back and forth between that and Captain Kirk. When the song ended, everyone cheered and awaited for what was next, transfixed. I felt as though we were all in some sort of cult ourselves.
I must admit for me it was different experience. I'm used to your standard rock shows. But I've always thought having good visuals to go along with music was an enhancement.Having a live drummer, Lynn Farmer, to Jam along with the tracks was a plus.
The bassy beats and rhythms of "children of earth" treated us to a paranormal array of shots of UFO's dangling from the sky, an old shot of the LAX Encounter building, footage of the golden gate bridge, a feeling that we were being looked upon, doted on as it were, from Space Beings in the sky. There was subtitles over comedic looking Aliens who were trying to figure us out, mixed in with village of the damned children with the glowworm eyes, along with Large Yamaha keyboards and infomericals.
So basically, it was a blueprint of Jack Danger's creative brain, his obsessions and possessions, fears and joys. A lot of sacred and profane, yin and yang energy, showing us the absurdity of life on earth, taking us through a safe acid trip. There was also a bit of Obama repeating the words, 'Turn off the television," alongside Televangelist, Gregory Peck, some dude in a rubber mask interspersed with Gregory Peck, Dr. No, and that dang Comet dude Marshall Applewhite kept popping up over and over. I was mesmerized, I must admit. The staples of our society had been chewed up and spit out for all to see, and there was never a second to look away. We didn't want to miss woody allen charles manson, and Charleton Heston all acting out Jack Danger's script, while Obama repeatedly told us to turn off the television.
A few songs in, a televangelist is heard telling us about the evils of rock music and marijuana, and we're suddenly jolted. Our reality is now Hendrix at Monterey Pop destroying his guitar, as the televangelist quotes another "victim" of rock and roll, who says, "I didn't know what I was doing, and my clothes came off," as if the force of Devil's Music caused u2b disoriented.
There was old bollywood footage
Drum solos, simulated collage of drummers sped up, slowed down. Pics. of chris walken, muppets playing, etc.
The visual in a performance, particularly a Meat Beat Manifesto concert, is very important. In the very first song there was a collage of Moogs and a clip of Marshall Applewhite of the notoriously suicidal Heavens Gate cult saying 'surivive,' over and over again. MBM's music provided an angsty backbeat as further clips of George Bush Sr., Jimi Hendrix, and footage from old movies entertained us on a double screen. There were pics of Old school microphones, typewriters, buttons, fractal patterns, number gauges, and a whole myriad of memes to delight and dance to. At the end of the first song there was MSNBC footage of a man being restrained by cops and than cutting back and forth between that and Captain Kirk. When the song ended, everyone cheered and awaited for what was next, transfixed. I felt as though we were all in some sort of cult ourselves.
I must admit for me it was different experience. I'm used to your standard rock shows. But I've always thought having good visuals to go along with music was an enhancement.Having a live drummer, Lynn Farmer, to Jam along with the tracks was a plus.
The bassy beats and rhythms of "children of earth" treated us to a paranormal array of shots of UFO's dangling from the sky, an old shot of the LAX Encounter building, footage of the golden gate bridge, a feeling that we were being looked upon, doted on as it were, from Space Beings in the sky. There was subtitles over comedic looking Aliens who were trying to figure us out, mixed in with village of the damned children with the glowworm eyes, along with Large Yamaha keyboards and infomericals.
So basically, it was a blueprint of Jack Danger's creative brain, his obsessions and possessions, fears and joys. A lot of sacred and profane, yin and yang energy, showing us the absurdity of life on earth, taking us through a safe acid trip. There was also a bit of Obama repeating the words, 'Turn off the television," alongside Televangelist, Gregory Peck, some dude in a rubber mask interspersed with Gregory Peck, Dr. No, and that dang Comet dude Marshall Applewhite kept popping up over and over. I was mesmerized, I must admit. The staples of our society had been chewed up and spit out for all to see, and there was never a second to look away. We didn't want to miss woody allen charles manson, and Charleton Heston all acting out Jack Danger's script, while Obama repeatedly told us to turn off the television.
A few songs in, a televangelist is heard telling us about the evils of rock music and marijuana, and we're suddenly jolted. Our reality is now Hendrix at Monterey Pop destroying his guitar, as the televangelist quotes another "victim" of rock and roll, who says, "I didn't know what I was doing, and my clothes came off," as if the force of Devil's Music caused u2b disoriented.
There was old bollywood footage
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Lonnie note
Thumb should be stationary, closer to pinky, aligned with middle finger.
Everybody plays different, but keep reminding yourself to keep your thumb in one place.
The Modes- 7 degrees diatonic scales
major scale all 7 degrees modes, some major some minor
145 major the rest minor.
first mode, is all whole steps except after 3 and 7 are half steps.
C major,
Everybody plays different, but keep reminding yourself to keep your thumb in one place.
The Modes- 7 degrees diatonic scales
major scale all 7 degrees modes, some major some minor
145 major the rest minor.
first mode, is all whole steps except after 3 and 7 are half steps.
C major,
some notes from kelly keough
Cinnamon increases metabolism, it's a heart spice, and lowers diabetes/ Avacado - polyunsaturated fats. Quinoa- iron protein tumeric- anti inflammatory cayenne- metabolism save the juice from seaweed- make miso soy. carrot, burdock, plum vinegar, kambo- cooks with beans to take away gas. whole foods asian isle, valencia organic peanut butter, chunky, salted, carob powder, no boost in adrenals is key, carob/cinnamon. vanilla, dark choc, cinnamon, flavored w/ stevia, which is from paraguay
Mermaid salad, sprouted quinoa easy, can be completely raw or cooked. When you cook it, it's 3X the volume as just sprouting. Can do cooked and than put the raw on top. Medium saucepan, lid. Dry measuring cup, wet measuring cup. 1 cup dry 2 cups water put the flame on boil, 2 cups of water (cook or sprouting is the same) w/ quinoa, need timers in kitchen. red/ white quinoa. baby tails= sprouted. put in 3 quarters cup white, no difference in nutritions. a quarter red. half and half would be too tough, grainy. don't have to rinse quinoa, it's that clean. it will look half and half.( Gentlemen in peru told her that the chickens and children grow strong on quinoa, the proteins, amino acids, good for skin, etc. ) put the lid on, put in refridge. simmer for 15 minutes. Soaked the quinoa at 7 pm- next morning at 7 pm- she thinks 8 hours is ideal, overnight when you go to bed. Baby strainer, very fine, push the water through, than collander, 2 sheets of saran wrap. Pushed it up around the sides and flattened it with a spatula, put it on a paper towel on the counter. buckwheat takes 36 hours.
It now has more enzymes, proteins after sprouting. Heals hair, toasted sesame oil is great for the body. Very ayurvedic- great for hormones, balancing brain and nervous system, great for weight loss. This recipe is good for you and heals your hair, protein, sea vegetables, avocado. Great w/ hemp oil, etc.
She got desperate and began "out of desperation, I started creating recipes to survive, and heal myself." We're doing a healing recipe, and a survival recipe.
Peanut butter cups- hemp butter, etc. Champion juicer, push it through. Could use hemp or almond butter also.
Hemp is like a sesame seed, marijuana's cousin. But with less THC. When it grinds up, it's helped by hemp oil. It's savory. Let us sample hemp seeds. Full vegan protein source. Raw tahini is good too. Omega 3's from a variety of sources is the best way. coconut oil is hard. saturated fat, mono and poly saturated fat. Bad PR on coconut oil because of margarine. Way more medicinal, great cooking fat, medium chain fat. Over 76 degress it melts, so it melts in your body, breaks down very nice. Sends chemical messages to your thyroid, stimulating your t3's and t4's. coco oil, you portion control it no more than tbsp a day. Sautee greens in it- fresh dandelion tea, coco oil, and himalayan salt. butternut squash soup, sauteed onions. choco candy with no coco butter- it takes a lot of work to breaks down typical choc. from the store. With raw cacao/ cocoa powder, it melts in your body converted to carbs very quickly. Has been eating these for 4 years, doesn't look fat like she did as a child.
quinoa letting it cool, avacados- gelsons has the best- horizontal and vertical slices take a spoon and excavate. Find the treasure. Key to this recipe is marinating it in lemon juice. Squeeze your own lemon or buy some. 2 tablespoons saltmarinate.
braggs, tumeric. Braggs replacement for soy sauce. A lot less sodium, less than tamari. 100 mgs salt. on salads, hemp oil, 2 tsps, tumeric and cayenne, and braggs sauce. She's been eating it 4 years. Add it to your greens, oil, lemon juice. Haven't bought salad dressing in 4 years candy bars in 2. Arame, put it in water. Vital for women, easy to eat raw, the iodine, the b vitamins, blood builder, calcium, a superfood. Concentrated brown seaweed supplement helps her body. Should eat sea veggies every day, to soups, salad. Wakame. seaweed.net - tell them janine sent you , you'll get a special rate. wakame, arame, hijiki, at whole foods, arame wakame. hong kong markets near downtown have great deals. Polyunsaturated fats of avocado helps hair and skin quinoa for iron, tumeric, cayenne, coconut oil iron and energy. Mix it up. Save the juice from seaweed and make miso soup. carrots burdock onions simmer water/ broth w seaweed juice. add a little hemp oil, sesame oil on Marinate avocado turns it into a comfort food. arame takes 10 minutes to prep up. drain. She makes it for all her girlfriends. Best eaten right away, but you can refridgerate it as well. quinoa cooks 15 minutes, meanwhile, cut avocados, marinate in lemon juice, soaking arame, boom you have it. Used to be 2.99 now it's more. Hijiki is strong yet good if you're in healing mode. You can go anywhere you want with this recipe. Seaweed in koreatown. Japanese men chew it, kombo. Kombo takes away the gas, so is good cooked with beans. Whole foods- wakame- cheap 2.99 package.
TV show- the cooking show - sprout it, food processor bread. sprout buckwheat with egg whites. She eats fish. sprout quinoa, buckwheat, rice, spices, yams, soaked pumpkin hemp seeds, dehydrate it in the dehydrator. It's really easy with the dehydrator, and really fun. It's easier than cakes and pie crusts. Put it in your processor than dehydrator. It comes out like a bread. can get a hydrater cheaper if you put in affiliate number exaclibur.com 5 tray dehydrator 249.95 #390337 vitamix.com 500 series refurbished $350 06-001798. valencia organic peanut butter is the best. Raw carob is not good for her recipes. not a high glycemic index, no boost in adrenals, no caffeine boost, skin nervous, digestive, pancreas, it's all good. acai maca chia seeds, green power spirulina, vitamix technique. Raw cocoa hides the taste of the greens. carob and cinnamon together is a great energy elixir. cinnamon helps diabetes, lowers sugar in the blood.stevia is a green leaf plant from paraguay, dried extracted, 300 x sweeter than sugar. the liquid works a lot better here than the powdered. Whole foods makes their own vanilla stevia extract, 8.99. all antioxidants, polyphenols kept intact with the cacao nibs. Agave is low glycemic. Peanut butter and agave makes the pb filling. portion control two a day. .3 ounces each. Think in balance and beauty. What's normal is a little bowl 2 cookies, 2 cups, 2 balls. If your food is normal. Vanilla, chocolate stevia. Sweet leaf is a good company. She thinks trader joes stevia is horrible. "Your life will CHANGE." she says when recommending sweet leaf stevia over trader joe's brand. Erythritol is much better for coffee. z sweet. My pantry in my pocketbook- she carries it on her. It's got: liquid stevia, vanilla cream, starbucks passion ice tea, makes it taste like hawaiian punch. z sweet, Erythritol, put it in smoothies, coffee. Yogurt- it's all natural from corn other fruit veggie fiberz. We don't have digestive enzymes in the body for erythritol, so it passes right through. Goes great w/ fruit, berries, pomegranite. Rounds out the flavor of fruits. Use a few together to get the best sugar like taste. Swerve you can get online, good to mix with erythritol. Truvia, they screwed up. Tastes horrible. erithritol and stevia is good in a smoothie. Alternative sugar addict.
"I'll go back to the story of being desperate. Just because, I gave up sugar. Actually to tell you the truth, my angels told me to do it. And I just started making up recipes because I was desperate to have sweets that I could eat to heal myself, and I think that the sweets are my best things to share with people. If you look at a lot of raw vegan recipes out there, they're mainly using just agave. They're not using erythritol, they're not using stevia. I use as little agave as possible, with stevia and erythritol, so it has less fructose. I'm using good fats, fiber and proteins. The carbs that are in the sweets to begin with are breaking down even more. How do you feel right now? How does your blood sugar feel? you can use hemp butter, almond butter, etc. usually people don't complain about this recipe. If you can share this with sugar, chocolate addicts, it's a lot better choice than reeses.
I asked her how she got interested in healthier eating.
"I grew up in famous catering business family in Western Ny, and so ever since I was born, I was around Italian food, large quantities. When I was a teenager aged 14 to 18, for 5 summers solid I worked for my grandparents. So I saw them feed thousands and thousands of people. So something must have sunk in. I became very adept- I didn't know I had a talent for budget, and feeding a lot of people, so I got into craft services in Boston, on film and tv sets. If you're good, it's a great job, but i was also a studio teacher and actress, and I learned to do every part of the crew. So but I did craft services, because it paid like triple what a PA was paid. And so I said, 'I can do that.' So I was on a film set, cider house rules, I was the head studio teacher, it was an amazing experience working on an academy award winning film, just magical, from that experience, they realized they'd hired me as the head studio teacher and yet I wasn't certified. And I was the only studio teacher in Massachusets, I had been working in education for about 10 years, so I got certified. Than I had to go to graduate school to keep my certification, and I thought, what's the wildest thing I could do, so I took film! So I started writing films and got into AFI. And I couldn't believe it. So going from production to film school is so stressful. It was horrible, and my hair was balding at 39 years old. And i thought, 'it's not right for a 39 year old to lose the only good thing on her body! So thank god I was vain enough to say "I don't want to lose my hair." So I consulted with Rhonda Lenare who I worked with, and she's a specialist in addiction. She's completely learned in naturapathic medicine, wholistic medicine, nutrition, and she worked on a supplement level, an energetic level to heal the body to go back to where it was before it became addicted. I was lucky enough to see her in the early 90's one on one for sugar addiction. I lost weight for the first time in my life, had a completely normal, balanced system, no pains, No PMS symptoms, nothing. Than when I went back on production on cider house rules, I couldn't handle the bagels, the food, and i went back to an addictive state. And I stayed that way on and off, back and forth. So 8 years later, I contacted Rhonda again, when I was back in L.A. She gave me a list of what to eat, what not to eat, supplements, etc. I taught myself everything on that list to eat, and what it did to my body. Sea vegetables, stevia, and I was like, that is so exotic! I have to eat that crap? And I'm borderline anemic, too. I couldn't eat like brussel sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, and I was like, fine.
I asked, "was there anything that she told you to give up that was hard to give up?"
" Sugar!!!!" and chocolate. So carob was my new best friend, but I didn't find that out until later. back in the 90's it was 300 dollars, now its 2000. in 2004 for a phone session it was 375 dollars. She didn't tell me to go raw or vegan- just very little dairy, lot's of salmon, sea vegetables, black oil, omega 3's, supplements for thyroid, adrenals, all that stuff. And I started to heal myself. After 6 weeks of eating apples, plain yogurt, and quinoa, I said, what am i gonna do? Than I got a new job and I wanted to celebrate, and something within me told me to make brownies, and I said, I can't make brownies! But literally I just had an intuition to just start studying: I went to erewhon, I studied every single package on the shelf, I saw what people were doing, and I said, "I can do that!"
The minute after she got off the phone with Rhonda, she decided that 'not one more grain of sugar is gonna pass these lips.' When you're a sugar addict and a compulsive overeater, you only last 6 weeks on anything. Most people only last two. But I was doing the green drinks, and i was cooking to heal." Within a couple weeks, friends of hers were asking if she had gotten botox, or a facelift. She kept losing weight, and than after the first 6 week mark, she started making her first brownie. Out of dates, carob and stevia, maybe with a bit of eggs. and i was just jumping for joy. I got so fascinated and the fascination became a discipline. and I ended up quitting every single job, and inviting people to cooking classes, to develop these recipes. I had a knack for sweets, and taking the best of what I see and making it better. It was a creative junction, because it kept me fascinated with my healing process. Now I know more than I did now. Within 8 months, after taking chinese herbs from Ron teaguarden, my hair started sprouting back onto my head. I started making up recipes, and became a cooking consultant at Erewhon. And it was fun back then! Golden Bridge was down the street still, there was a lot of different people and activities. It was just a cool fun time. That's when I made up the hemp balls they were called fudgeit's I was in Erewhon learning from all of the extreme raw foodists. I learned, and I studied nonstop. Because I'm a self healer, I wanted to show other people that they could self heal too. I think that nutrition and cooking are new trends. And self healing has always been around, but food is your basic thing that everyone can do, you can sprout quinoa. So I definitely love healing through food. I didn't realize that not only would I heal my hair, but that I would heal my sugar addiction and compulsive overeating patterns. that is major. I never thought I would be released from the prison of being obsessed with food and being worried about that. I don't have cravings. I feed myself. I'm health conscious, i take care of myself. I enjoy it, and no matter what, my kitchen's a mess-even to make a salad, I pull out 10 containers. I just think, Kelly, you're so lucky, you spoil yourself. Every time I eat a salad at a salad bar I get sick, I don't understand why. I don't know what it is. So I think another mission is encouraging people to get back in their kitchen.
I asked her if a lot of food cravings went away, partially because she was getting right nutrition in her body?
"Yeah," she said, "and it took four years. It's been a process. I know what it's like to be obsessed with sugar, so what I do is I have people make what they crave, but make it alternatively. So they don't feel like they're going without. They don't feel like they're being punished! If they're craving pancakes, here's a recipe for it. I don't eat how i ate 4 years ago. I eat for nutrition and satiation.
What's the best thing for hair?
Omega 3 oils, fish oil, chia, hemp, avocado, vitamin e, selenium, flax, pumpkin.
Dates were good for sweets. I stopped eating a certain something and my skin cleared up.
Stopped drinking the almond milk and pine nuts because it was flaring up skin on her elbows.
Mermaid salad, sprouted quinoa easy, can be completely raw or cooked. When you cook it, it's 3X the volume as just sprouting. Can do cooked and than put the raw on top. Medium saucepan, lid. Dry measuring cup, wet measuring cup. 1 cup dry 2 cups water put the flame on boil, 2 cups of water (cook or sprouting is the same) w/ quinoa, need timers in kitchen. red/ white quinoa. baby tails= sprouted. put in 3 quarters cup white, no difference in nutritions. a quarter red. half and half would be too tough, grainy. don't have to rinse quinoa, it's that clean. it will look half and half.( Gentlemen in peru told her that the chickens and children grow strong on quinoa, the proteins, amino acids, good for skin, etc. ) put the lid on, put in refridge. simmer for 15 minutes. Soaked the quinoa at 7 pm- next morning at 7 pm- she thinks 8 hours is ideal, overnight when you go to bed. Baby strainer, very fine, push the water through, than collander, 2 sheets of saran wrap. Pushed it up around the sides and flattened it with a spatula, put it on a paper towel on the counter. buckwheat takes 36 hours.
It now has more enzymes, proteins after sprouting. Heals hair, toasted sesame oil is great for the body. Very ayurvedic- great for hormones, balancing brain and nervous system, great for weight loss. This recipe is good for you and heals your hair, protein, sea vegetables, avocado. Great w/ hemp oil, etc.
She got desperate and began "out of desperation, I started creating recipes to survive, and heal myself." We're doing a healing recipe, and a survival recipe.
Peanut butter cups- hemp butter, etc. Champion juicer, push it through. Could use hemp or almond butter also.
Hemp is like a sesame seed, marijuana's cousin. But with less THC. When it grinds up, it's helped by hemp oil. It's savory. Let us sample hemp seeds. Full vegan protein source. Raw tahini is good too. Omega 3's from a variety of sources is the best way. coconut oil is hard. saturated fat, mono and poly saturated fat. Bad PR on coconut oil because of margarine. Way more medicinal, great cooking fat, medium chain fat. Over 76 degress it melts, so it melts in your body, breaks down very nice. Sends chemical messages to your thyroid, stimulating your t3's and t4's. coco oil, you portion control it no more than tbsp a day. Sautee greens in it- fresh dandelion tea, coco oil, and himalayan salt. butternut squash soup, sauteed onions. choco candy with no coco butter- it takes a lot of work to breaks down typical choc. from the store. With raw cacao/ cocoa powder, it melts in your body converted to carbs very quickly. Has been eating these for 4 years, doesn't look fat like she did as a child.
quinoa letting it cool, avacados- gelsons has the best- horizontal and vertical slices take a spoon and excavate. Find the treasure. Key to this recipe is marinating it in lemon juice. Squeeze your own lemon or buy some. 2 tablespoons saltmarinate.
braggs, tumeric. Braggs replacement for soy sauce. A lot less sodium, less than tamari. 100 mgs salt. on salads, hemp oil, 2 tsps, tumeric and cayenne, and braggs sauce. She's been eating it 4 years. Add it to your greens, oil, lemon juice. Haven't bought salad dressing in 4 years candy bars in 2. Arame, put it in water. Vital for women, easy to eat raw, the iodine, the b vitamins, blood builder, calcium, a superfood. Concentrated brown seaweed supplement helps her body. Should eat sea veggies every day, to soups, salad. Wakame. seaweed.net - tell them janine sent you , you'll get a special rate. wakame, arame, hijiki, at whole foods, arame wakame. hong kong markets near downtown have great deals. Polyunsaturated fats of avocado helps hair and skin quinoa for iron, tumeric, cayenne, coconut oil iron and energy. Mix it up. Save the juice from seaweed and make miso soup. carrots burdock onions simmer water/ broth w seaweed juice. add a little hemp oil, sesame oil on Marinate avocado turns it into a comfort food. arame takes 10 minutes to prep up. drain. She makes it for all her girlfriends. Best eaten right away, but you can refridgerate it as well. quinoa cooks 15 minutes, meanwhile, cut avocados, marinate in lemon juice, soaking arame, boom you have it. Used to be 2.99 now it's more. Hijiki is strong yet good if you're in healing mode. You can go anywhere you want with this recipe. Seaweed in koreatown. Japanese men chew it, kombo. Kombo takes away the gas, so is good cooked with beans. Whole foods- wakame- cheap 2.99 package.
TV show- the cooking show - sprout it, food processor bread. sprout buckwheat with egg whites. She eats fish. sprout quinoa, buckwheat, rice, spices, yams, soaked pumpkin hemp seeds, dehydrate it in the dehydrator. It's really easy with the dehydrator, and really fun. It's easier than cakes and pie crusts. Put it in your processor than dehydrator. It comes out like a bread. can get a hydrater cheaper if you put in affiliate number exaclibur.com 5 tray dehydrator 249.95 #390337 vitamix.com 500 series refurbished $350 06-001798. valencia organic peanut butter is the best. Raw carob is not good for her recipes. not a high glycemic index, no boost in adrenals, no caffeine boost, skin nervous, digestive, pancreas, it's all good. acai maca chia seeds, green power spirulina, vitamix technique. Raw cocoa hides the taste of the greens. carob and cinnamon together is a great energy elixir. cinnamon helps diabetes, lowers sugar in the blood.stevia is a green leaf plant from paraguay, dried extracted, 300 x sweeter than sugar. the liquid works a lot better here than the powdered. Whole foods makes their own vanilla stevia extract, 8.99. all antioxidants, polyphenols kept intact with the cacao nibs. Agave is low glycemic. Peanut butter and agave makes the pb filling. portion control two a day. .3 ounces each. Think in balance and beauty. What's normal is a little bowl 2 cookies, 2 cups, 2 balls. If your food is normal. Vanilla, chocolate stevia. Sweet leaf is a good company. She thinks trader joes stevia is horrible. "Your life will CHANGE." she says when recommending sweet leaf stevia over trader joe's brand. Erythritol is much better for coffee. z sweet. My pantry in my pocketbook- she carries it on her. It's got: liquid stevia, vanilla cream, starbucks passion ice tea, makes it taste like hawaiian punch. z sweet, Erythritol, put it in smoothies, coffee. Yogurt- it's all natural from corn other fruit veggie fiberz. We don't have digestive enzymes in the body for erythritol, so it passes right through. Goes great w/ fruit, berries, pomegranite. Rounds out the flavor of fruits. Use a few together to get the best sugar like taste. Swerve you can get online, good to mix with erythritol. Truvia, they screwed up. Tastes horrible. erithritol and stevia is good in a smoothie. Alternative sugar addict.
"I'll go back to the story of being desperate. Just because, I gave up sugar. Actually to tell you the truth, my angels told me to do it. And I just started making up recipes because I was desperate to have sweets that I could eat to heal myself, and I think that the sweets are my best things to share with people. If you look at a lot of raw vegan recipes out there, they're mainly using just agave. They're not using erythritol, they're not using stevia. I use as little agave as possible, with stevia and erythritol, so it has less fructose. I'm using good fats, fiber and proteins. The carbs that are in the sweets to begin with are breaking down even more. How do you feel right now? How does your blood sugar feel? you can use hemp butter, almond butter, etc. usually people don't complain about this recipe. If you can share this with sugar, chocolate addicts, it's a lot better choice than reeses.
I asked her how she got interested in healthier eating.
"I grew up in famous catering business family in Western Ny, and so ever since I was born, I was around Italian food, large quantities. When I was a teenager aged 14 to 18, for 5 summers solid I worked for my grandparents. So I saw them feed thousands and thousands of people. So something must have sunk in. I became very adept- I didn't know I had a talent for budget, and feeding a lot of people, so I got into craft services in Boston, on film and tv sets. If you're good, it's a great job, but i was also a studio teacher and actress, and I learned to do every part of the crew. So but I did craft services, because it paid like triple what a PA was paid. And so I said, 'I can do that.' So I was on a film set, cider house rules, I was the head studio teacher, it was an amazing experience working on an academy award winning film, just magical, from that experience, they realized they'd hired me as the head studio teacher and yet I wasn't certified. And I was the only studio teacher in Massachusets, I had been working in education for about 10 years, so I got certified. Than I had to go to graduate school to keep my certification, and I thought, what's the wildest thing I could do, so I took film! So I started writing films and got into AFI. And I couldn't believe it. So going from production to film school is so stressful. It was horrible, and my hair was balding at 39 years old. And i thought, 'it's not right for a 39 year old to lose the only good thing on her body! So thank god I was vain enough to say "I don't want to lose my hair." So I consulted with Rhonda Lenare who I worked with, and she's a specialist in addiction. She's completely learned in naturapathic medicine, wholistic medicine, nutrition, and she worked on a supplement level, an energetic level to heal the body to go back to where it was before it became addicted. I was lucky enough to see her in the early 90's one on one for sugar addiction. I lost weight for the first time in my life, had a completely normal, balanced system, no pains, No PMS symptoms, nothing. Than when I went back on production on cider house rules, I couldn't handle the bagels, the food, and i went back to an addictive state. And I stayed that way on and off, back and forth. So 8 years later, I contacted Rhonda again, when I was back in L.A. She gave me a list of what to eat, what not to eat, supplements, etc. I taught myself everything on that list to eat, and what it did to my body. Sea vegetables, stevia, and I was like, that is so exotic! I have to eat that crap? And I'm borderline anemic, too. I couldn't eat like brussel sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli, and I was like, fine.
I asked, "was there anything that she told you to give up that was hard to give up?"
" Sugar!!!!" and chocolate. So carob was my new best friend, but I didn't find that out until later. back in the 90's it was 300 dollars, now its 2000. in 2004 for a phone session it was 375 dollars. She didn't tell me to go raw or vegan- just very little dairy, lot's of salmon, sea vegetables, black oil, omega 3's, supplements for thyroid, adrenals, all that stuff. And I started to heal myself. After 6 weeks of eating apples, plain yogurt, and quinoa, I said, what am i gonna do? Than I got a new job and I wanted to celebrate, and something within me told me to make brownies, and I said, I can't make brownies! But literally I just had an intuition to just start studying: I went to erewhon, I studied every single package on the shelf, I saw what people were doing, and I said, "I can do that!"
The minute after she got off the phone with Rhonda, she decided that 'not one more grain of sugar is gonna pass these lips.' When you're a sugar addict and a compulsive overeater, you only last 6 weeks on anything. Most people only last two. But I was doing the green drinks, and i was cooking to heal." Within a couple weeks, friends of hers were asking if she had gotten botox, or a facelift. She kept losing weight, and than after the first 6 week mark, she started making her first brownie. Out of dates, carob and stevia, maybe with a bit of eggs. and i was just jumping for joy. I got so fascinated and the fascination became a discipline. and I ended up quitting every single job, and inviting people to cooking classes, to develop these recipes. I had a knack for sweets, and taking the best of what I see and making it better. It was a creative junction, because it kept me fascinated with my healing process. Now I know more than I did now. Within 8 months, after taking chinese herbs from Ron teaguarden, my hair started sprouting back onto my head. I started making up recipes, and became a cooking consultant at Erewhon. And it was fun back then! Golden Bridge was down the street still, there was a lot of different people and activities. It was just a cool fun time. That's when I made up the hemp balls they were called fudgeit's I was in Erewhon learning from all of the extreme raw foodists. I learned, and I studied nonstop. Because I'm a self healer, I wanted to show other people that they could self heal too. I think that nutrition and cooking are new trends. And self healing has always been around, but food is your basic thing that everyone can do, you can sprout quinoa. So I definitely love healing through food. I didn't realize that not only would I heal my hair, but that I would heal my sugar addiction and compulsive overeating patterns. that is major. I never thought I would be released from the prison of being obsessed with food and being worried about that. I don't have cravings. I feed myself. I'm health conscious, i take care of myself. I enjoy it, and no matter what, my kitchen's a mess-even to make a salad, I pull out 10 containers. I just think, Kelly, you're so lucky, you spoil yourself. Every time I eat a salad at a salad bar I get sick, I don't understand why. I don't know what it is. So I think another mission is encouraging people to get back in their kitchen.
I asked her if a lot of food cravings went away, partially because she was getting right nutrition in her body?
"Yeah," she said, "and it took four years. It's been a process. I know what it's like to be obsessed with sugar, so what I do is I have people make what they crave, but make it alternatively. So they don't feel like they're going without. They don't feel like they're being punished! If they're craving pancakes, here's a recipe for it. I don't eat how i ate 4 years ago. I eat for nutrition and satiation.
What's the best thing for hair?
Omega 3 oils, fish oil, chia, hemp, avocado, vitamin e, selenium, flax, pumpkin.
Dates were good for sweets. I stopped eating a certain something and my skin cleared up.
Stopped drinking the almond milk and pine nuts because it was flaring up skin on her elbows.
lonnie marshall notes
Thumb should be stationary, closer to pinky, aligned with middle finger.
Everybody plays different, but keep reminding yourself to keep your thumb in one place.
The Modes- 7 degrees diatonic scales
major scale all 7 degrees modes, some major some minor
145 major the rest minor.
first mode, is all whole steps except after 3 and 7 are half steps.
C major,
Everybody plays different, but keep reminding yourself to keep your thumb in one place.
The Modes- 7 degrees diatonic scales
major scale all 7 degrees modes, some major some minor
145 major the rest minor.
first mode, is all whole steps except after 3 and 7 are half steps.
C major,
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Apollo Sunshine makes history (once again) at Spaceland
Apollo Sunshine should be the 1st band on the Moon but for Saturday night they landed in Silverlake. I've seen them here at Spaceland numerous times, and this was a particularly vibrant gig, with the new songs from their 3rd release 'Shall noise upon' sounding extra grandiose.
They opened the set with Money, a fairly mellow yet jamming song, a bit of folk rock played hard, like Simon and Garfunkel after an injection of testosterone. I noticed the newest addition to the band, Ali, who added extra rhythm on top of Jeremy Black's layered chops. It was an interesting dynamic for the band, and it was entertaining watching Ali switch back and forth between using his hands and sticks on both a conga and a floor tom. Jeremy was alternating maracas and sticks against his kit during the first song. After ironically titled song "money", Lead Singer/ Bassist/guitarist/ keyboardist Jesse made a joke about how this tour could possibly cover the 3 grand spent on a blown transmission on the tour bus. (Runs on grease, so at least they saved money from gas, thanks Taco Bell.)
Jeremy put down his maracas and picked up his sticks to bang hard for the second song, 'singing to the earth (to thank her for you,) which sounded a bit more rocked out than the record, which I believe would be great as their first single. Jesse's bright falsetto sounded great.
For 666, one of the songs off the new record with more of a political bent than usual, the lyric 'believing is harder than it used to be' is something all of us in these times can relate to. I believe in Sam Cohen's spectacular Pedal Steel solo, which he displayed with vigour. The band's ability to weave so many different instruments seamlessly into their set almost allows you to feel as if you're in their living room during a late night jam. Although their psychadelic influences come through, It would be doing the band a disservice to compare them too much with their predecessors, as they are definitely locked into their own planet. They rocked hard enough on certain parts of this set, you could even see a punk rock vibe in certain moments, but with special care in the instrumentation, dichotomized by periodic spouts of reckless abandon. "the world will see........." I'm sure it will. This new Album is quite enigmatic, and quite to live up to live, but I believe Apollo Sunshine is up for the task and ready to take the world by storm
Getting back to their roots, Sam strapped an acoustic guitar to his chest and they did a thunderous rendition of 'Magnolia,' the hit song off of their Second Album. I haven't seen anyone rock an acoustic so hard since Grant Lee Phillips on the Jubilee tour. This song starts out with Jesse banging a cowbell, than picking up his bass and throwing some sliding lines up and down the neck ala 'walk on the wild side' meets Phil Lesh. And didn't I hear that familiar chorus on a Dewar's commercial? Thought so. But this song definitely works best live.
For Funky Chamerberlain, Sam takes over Bass duty so that Jesse can play some keys. This is a number that has you running in place on the dance floor and reliving your last acid trip, if you've ever had one. Jessie takes the bass back while Ali hits a snare for 'better change your mind,' corresponding with Jeremy's tight rhythms in machine like synchronization. There's some Jam bandy-ness going on but the songs are let to breathe for just long enough and than cut back, keeping a certain structure that is refreshing. The band really grooves a bit at the end, and cut it off right at the apex of sharpness, leaving us to revel in it's brevity.
Brotherhood of death, another semi- political song, which refers to a certain secret society that our IQ challenged (now getting ready to be former) president was initiated into. It is their punky dark number, the song that rocks the hardest. Jesse closes his eyes and tells us a story. This song displays a certain awareness of the modern corruption of our world, yet seems to offer up some kind of hope at the same time, complete with guitar distortion ending.
But than we make way for a party. 'Phyllis' is a song of hilariously funny lyrics where we lighten up as they sing "I"m gonna drink a lot of water, and rinse a few things out. I'm gonna make a note, to make a note of what day it is every day I'm up." Great advice, and it's fun watching Jessie strap on his double neck guitar/ bass and go back and forth between the two, staying on bass while Sam solos. Again, I'm feeling like I'm in their living room. And Ali is banging them bells against the toms and congas to keep up with Jeremy, the Lance Armstrong of free spirited drummers.
Than Jesse treats us to some frenzied rendition of a Bach song with Sam stealing back the bass one last time before ending out the set with "Lord" from their first album Katonah. A holy cry into the dark of night, a hungering for a true spiritual experience, not just a false religiosity. This is a serious song. "Don't leave me lord, " cries Jessie, and Sam wails off into a guitar solo complete with underwater distorted effects: a modern day Hendrix clashing with Greg Allman, but soon. Sorry, I said I wouldn't compare. (Oh hi, ghost of John Lennon.) Sam and Jessie lay down their weapons and every body jams on the percussions, Sam joining Ali, Jessie uniting with Jeremy on his kit. Ending the set with a drum circle of four souls wrapped in unity, than Sam banging Jeremy's floor tom before a final pause, the instruments are strapped back on, this time going into the song double time shooting off like a rocket from space rock to wailing punk, Ali whipping those dreads in a frenzy, alernating bells slapped against conga, stick on snare, and than alternating his hands again, keeping time again with Jeremy, and than the frenzy ends.
This is a meal that can't be digested in one setting. You have to keep coming back and soon you'll understand what has happened. The albums shows are to be sipped slowly through a lifetime, not something our attention deficit society will get right away, but something that will make history.........eventually.
They opened the set with Money, a fairly mellow yet jamming song, a bit of folk rock played hard, like Simon and Garfunkel after an injection of testosterone. I noticed the newest addition to the band, Ali, who added extra rhythm on top of Jeremy Black's layered chops. It was an interesting dynamic for the band, and it was entertaining watching Ali switch back and forth between using his hands and sticks on both a conga and a floor tom. Jeremy was alternating maracas and sticks against his kit during the first song. After ironically titled song "money", Lead Singer/ Bassist/guitarist/ keyboardist Jesse made a joke about how this tour could possibly cover the 3 grand spent on a blown transmission on the tour bus. (Runs on grease, so at least they saved money from gas, thanks Taco Bell.)
Jeremy put down his maracas and picked up his sticks to bang hard for the second song, 'singing to the earth (to thank her for you,) which sounded a bit more rocked out than the record, which I believe would be great as their first single. Jesse's bright falsetto sounded great.
For 666, one of the songs off the new record with more of a political bent than usual, the lyric 'believing is harder than it used to be' is something all of us in these times can relate to. I believe in Sam Cohen's spectacular Pedal Steel solo, which he displayed with vigour. The band's ability to weave so many different instruments seamlessly into their set almost allows you to feel as if you're in their living room during a late night jam. Although their psychadelic influences come through, It would be doing the band a disservice to compare them too much with their predecessors, as they are definitely locked into their own planet. They rocked hard enough on certain parts of this set, you could even see a punk rock vibe in certain moments, but with special care in the instrumentation, dichotomized by periodic spouts of reckless abandon. "the world will see........." I'm sure it will. This new Album is quite enigmatic, and quite to live up to live, but I believe Apollo Sunshine is up for the task and ready to take the world by storm
Getting back to their roots, Sam strapped an acoustic guitar to his chest and they did a thunderous rendition of 'Magnolia,' the hit song off of their Second Album. I haven't seen anyone rock an acoustic so hard since Grant Lee Phillips on the Jubilee tour. This song starts out with Jesse banging a cowbell, than picking up his bass and throwing some sliding lines up and down the neck ala 'walk on the wild side' meets Phil Lesh. And didn't I hear that familiar chorus on a Dewar's commercial? Thought so. But this song definitely works best live.
For Funky Chamerberlain, Sam takes over Bass duty so that Jesse can play some keys. This is a number that has you running in place on the dance floor and reliving your last acid trip, if you've ever had one. Jessie takes the bass back while Ali hits a snare for 'better change your mind,' corresponding with Jeremy's tight rhythms in machine like synchronization. There's some Jam bandy-ness going on but the songs are let to breathe for just long enough and than cut back, keeping a certain structure that is refreshing. The band really grooves a bit at the end, and cut it off right at the apex of sharpness, leaving us to revel in it's brevity.
Brotherhood of death, another semi- political song, which refers to a certain secret society that our IQ challenged (now getting ready to be former) president was initiated into. It is their punky dark number, the song that rocks the hardest. Jesse closes his eyes and tells us a story. This song displays a certain awareness of the modern corruption of our world, yet seems to offer up some kind of hope at the same time, complete with guitar distortion ending.
But than we make way for a party. 'Phyllis' is a song of hilariously funny lyrics where we lighten up as they sing "I"m gonna drink a lot of water, and rinse a few things out. I'm gonna make a note, to make a note of what day it is every day I'm up." Great advice, and it's fun watching Jessie strap on his double neck guitar/ bass and go back and forth between the two, staying on bass while Sam solos. Again, I'm feeling like I'm in their living room. And Ali is banging them bells against the toms and congas to keep up with Jeremy, the Lance Armstrong of free spirited drummers.
Than Jesse treats us to some frenzied rendition of a Bach song with Sam stealing back the bass one last time before ending out the set with "Lord" from their first album Katonah. A holy cry into the dark of night, a hungering for a true spiritual experience, not just a false religiosity. This is a serious song. "Don't leave me lord, " cries Jessie, and Sam wails off into a guitar solo complete with underwater distorted effects: a modern day Hendrix clashing with Greg Allman, but soon. Sorry, I said I wouldn't compare. (Oh hi, ghost of John Lennon.) Sam and Jessie lay down their weapons and every body jams on the percussions, Sam joining Ali, Jessie uniting with Jeremy on his kit. Ending the set with a drum circle of four souls wrapped in unity, than Sam banging Jeremy's floor tom before a final pause, the instruments are strapped back on, this time going into the song double time shooting off like a rocket from space rock to wailing punk, Ali whipping those dreads in a frenzy, alernating bells slapped against conga, stick on snare, and than alternating his hands again, keeping time again with Jeremy, and than the frenzy ends.
This is a meal that can't be digested in one setting. You have to keep coming back and soon you'll understand what has happened. The albums shows are to be sipped slowly through a lifetime, not something our attention deficit society will get right away, but something that will make history.........eventually.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
stuff
friday, october 31, 2008
Perry Farrell video shoot 11/1
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tlg/901232306.html
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 7:09 pm 0 comments
thursday, october 30, 2008
Name of my new band:
SHAKERS
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 5:52 am 0 comments
monday, october 27, 2008
Perry Farrell video shoot 11/1
http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wst/tlg/901232306.html
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 7:09 pm 0 comments
thursday, october 30, 2008
Name of my new band:
SHAKERS
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 5:52 am 0 comments
monday, october 27, 2008
quotes and monologues
tuesday, november 11, 2008
Another Bernie Rhodes quote:
It's a truly FRUSTRATING process being ahead CREATIVELY but stuck in traffic CULTURALLY.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:44 pm 0 comments
Bernard Rhodes Quote
“If Elvis Presley worked with me, he wouldn’t have got fat…”
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:08 pm 0 comments
saturday, november 8, 2008
one of my fave quotes
"What you bring forth from within you will save you. What you do not bring forth will destroy you"
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:09 pm 0 comments
i agree sean connery
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/billy-diamond/hollywood-idiots-blast-ba_b_4995.html
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:59 am 0 comments
goodwill hunting monologue
Clark (Scott Winters): I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalism...
Chuckie (Ben Affleck): Let me tell you something, all right...
Will: (interrupting) Of course that is your contention...
Clark: Hold on a second...
Will: You're a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some Marxian Historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna' be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gonna' be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna' last until next year, you're gonna' be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talking about ya know, the Pre-Revolutionary utopia and the capital forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: Well, as a matter of fact I won't because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social...
Will: (interrupting) Wood drastically... Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth. You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County", page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you, is that you thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage, and then pretend, you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girl and embarrass my friend? You see, the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years, you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: you dropped a 150 grand on a fuckin' education you could have gotten for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.
Clark: Yeah, but I will have the degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: (laughing) Yeah, maybe, but at least I won't be unoriginal.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:21 am 0 comments
Learn this monologue
Blake: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about...(puts out his cigarette)...bitching about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to buy, somebody that doesn't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Williamson: All but one.
Blake: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Levene) Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for closers only. (Levene scoffs) Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levene?
Levene: Yeah.
Blake: You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?
Moss: I don't have to listen to this shit.
Blake: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonights sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!
Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: 'The leads are weak.' Fucking leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.
Moss: What's your name?
Blake: FUCK YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! (to Levene) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?
(Blake flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)
Blake: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Moss) What's the problem pal? You. Moss.
Moss: You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?
(Blake sits and takes off his gold watch)
Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch cost more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you -- go home and play with your kids!! (to everyone) You wanna work here? Close!! (to Aaronow) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got, make myself fifteen thousand dollars! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell real estate?
(He pulls something out of his briefcase)
Blake: It takes brass balls to sell real estate.
(He's holding two brass balls on string, over the appropriate "area"--he puts them away after a pause)
Blake: Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket." (he takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase) These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to Williamson) They're for closers.
I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Moss as he puts on his watch again) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
Another Bernie Rhodes quote:
It's a truly FRUSTRATING process being ahead CREATIVELY but stuck in traffic CULTURALLY.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:44 pm 0 comments
Bernard Rhodes Quote
“If Elvis Presley worked with me, he wouldn’t have got fat…”
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:08 pm 0 comments
saturday, november 8, 2008
one of my fave quotes
"What you bring forth from within you will save you. What you do not bring forth will destroy you"
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:09 pm 0 comments
i agree sean connery
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/billy-diamond/hollywood-idiots-blast-ba_b_4995.html
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:59 am 0 comments
goodwill hunting monologue
Clark (Scott Winters): I was just hoping you might give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the southern colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War, the economic modalities, especially in the southern colonies, could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalism...
Chuckie (Ben Affleck): Let me tell you something, all right...
Will: (interrupting) Of course that is your contention...
Clark: Hold on a second...
Will: You're a first year grad student. You just got finished reading some Marxian Historian, Pete Garrison probably. You're gonna' be convinced of that until next month when you get to James Lemon, then you're gonna' be talking about how the economies of Virginia and Pennsylvania were entrepreneurial and capitalist way back in 1740. That's gonna' last until next year, you're gonna' be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood, talking about ya know, the Pre-Revolutionary utopia and the capital forming effects of military mobilization.
Clark: Well, as a matter of fact I won't because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social...
Will: (interrupting) Wood drastically... Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth. You got that from Vickers. "Work in Essex County", page 98, right? Yeah, I read that too. Were you going to plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Or do you, is that you thing, you come into a bar, you read some obscure passage, and then pretend, you pawn it off as your own, as your own idea just to impress some girl and embarrass my friend? You see, the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years, you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life. One: don't do that. And two: you dropped a 150 grand on a fuckin' education you could have gotten for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.
Clark: Yeah, but I will have the degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive thru on our way to a skiing trip.
Will: (laughing) Yeah, maybe, but at least I won't be unoriginal.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:21 am 0 comments
Learn this monologue
Blake: Let me have your attention for a moment! So you're talking about what? You're talking about...(puts out his cigarette)...bitching about that sale you shot, some son of a bitch that doesn't want to buy, somebody that doesn't want what you're selling, some broad you're trying to screw and so forth. Let's talk about something important. Are they all here?
Williamson: All but one.
Blake: Well, I'm going anyway. Let's talk about something important! (to Levene) Put that coffee down!! Coffee's for closers only. (Levene scoffs) Do you think I'm fucking with you? I am not fucking with you. I'm here from downtown. I'm here from Mitch and Murray. And I'm here on a mission of mercy. Your name's Levene?
Levene: Yeah.
Blake: You call yourself a salesman, you son of a bitch?
Moss: I don't have to listen to this shit.
Blake: You certainly don't pal. 'Cause the good news is -- you're fired. The bad news is you've got, all you got, just one week to regain your jobs, starting tonight. Starting with tonights sit. Oh, have I got your attention now? Good. 'Cause we're adding a little something to this months sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anyone want to see second prize? Second prize's a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired. You get the picture? You're laughing now? You got leads. Mitch and Murray paid good money. Get their names to sell them! You can't close the leads you're given, you can't close shit, you ARE shit, hit the bricks pal and beat it 'cause you are going out!!!
Levene: The leads are weak.
Blake: 'The leads are weak.' Fucking leads are weak? You're weak. I've been in this business fifteen years.
Moss: What's your name?
Blake: FUCK YOU, that's my name!! You know why, Mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove a eighty thousand dollar BMW. That's my name!! (to Levene) And your name is "you're wanting." And you can't play in a man's game. You can't close them. (at a near whisper) And you go home and tell your wife your troubles. (to everyone again) Because only one thing counts in this life! Get them to sign on the line which is dotted! You hear me, you fucking faggots?
(Blake flips over a blackboard which has two sets of letters on it: ABC, and AIDA.)
Blake: A-B-C. A-always, B-be, C-closing. Always be closing! Always be closing!! A-I-D-A. Attention, interest, decision, action. Attention -- do I have your attention? Interest -- are you interested? I know you are because it's fuck or walk. You close or you hit the bricks! Decision -- have you made your decision for Christ?!! And action. A-I-D-A; get out there!! You got the prospects comin' in; you think they came in to get out of the rain? Guy doesn't walk on the lot unless he wants to buy. Sitting out there waiting to give you their money! Are you gonna take it? Are you man enough to take it? (to Moss) What's the problem pal? You. Moss.
Moss: You're such a hero, you're so rich. Why you coming down here and waste your time on a bunch of bums?
(Blake sits and takes off his gold watch)
Blake: You see this watch? You see this watch?
Moss: Yeah.
Blake: That watch cost more than your car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see, pal, that's who I am. And you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you -- go home and play with your kids!! (to everyone) You wanna work here? Close!! (to Aaronow) You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this -- how can you take the abuse you get on a sit?! You don't like it -- leave. I can go out there tonight with the materials you got, make myself fifteen thousand dollars! Tonight! In two hours! Can you? Can you? Go and do likewise! A-I-D-A!! Get mad! You sons of bitches! Get mad!! You know what it takes to sell real estate?
(He pulls something out of his briefcase)
Blake: It takes brass balls to sell real estate.
(He's holding two brass balls on string, over the appropriate "area"--he puts them away after a pause)
Blake: Go and do likewise, gents. The money's out there, you pick it up, it's yours. You don't--I have no sympathy for you. You wanna go out on those sits tonight and close, close, it's yours. If not you're going to be shining my shoes. Bunch of losers sitting around in a bar. (in a mocking weak voice) "Oh yeah, I used to be a salesman, it's a tough racket." (he takes out large stack of red index cards tied together with string from his briefcase) These are the new leads. These are the Glengarry leads. And to you, they're gold. And you don't get them. Because to give them to you is just throwing them away. (he hands the stack to Williamson) They're for closers.
I'd wish you good luck but you wouldn't know what to do with it if you got it. (to Moss as he puts on his watch again) And to answer your question, pal: why am I here? I came here because Mitch and Murray asked me to, they asked me for a favor. I said, the real favor, follow my advice and fire your fucking ass because a loser is a loser.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Almost (lost in the shuffle) until you found me.
name of song
lost in the shuffle (album?) for shizzy
lost in the shuffle (album?) for shizzy
zevia: a sweet beverage that is easy on your sweet tooth.
http://jeremyferrick.blogspot.com/2008/11/zevia-sweet-beverage-that-is-easy-on.html
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
mohawk puppy by Jeremy Ferrick
Mohawk Puppy by Jeremy Ferrick
Eagle eye
floating like a feather
rising to the sky
seaside doggy
by and by
do I know you from another life?
Pomeranian
throw your dice
lucky k9 blessed life
his best friend and alibi
Mohawk puppy friday night
technocolor tan
i'm your biggest fan
all the ladies
love the little man!
dancing on your arm
licking your hand
rock and roll doggy
running in the sand
Boogy down the boardwalk
you can love but
you can't talk
if you could what would
you say?
what's circling around your doggy brain?
Mohawk
Puppy
spinning round and round
lord of the lions
running through the town
you can pick him up
won't want to put him down
Everybody loves
the mohawk puppy.
Eagle eye
floating like a feather
rising to the sky
seaside doggy
by and by
do I know you from another life?
Pomeranian
throw your dice
lucky k9 blessed life
his best friend and alibi
Mohawk puppy friday night
technocolor tan
i'm your biggest fan
all the ladies
love the little man!
dancing on your arm
licking your hand
rock and roll doggy
running in the sand
Boogy down the boardwalk
you can love but
you can't talk
if you could what would
you say?
what's circling around your doggy brain?
Mohawk
Puppy
spinning round and round
lord of the lions
running through the town
you can pick him up
won't want to put him down
Everybody loves
the mohawk puppy.
Friday, October 31, 2008
perry video shoot, just saw this post:
WE ARE SHOOTING A SMALL, VERY LOW BUDGET, PASSION PROJECT OF A MUSIC VIDEO SATURDAY NIGHT WITH THE ONE AND ONLY PERRY FARRELL AND ARE LOOKING FOR INTERESTING, HOT, ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE WHO ARE WILLING TO HANG OUT IN A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE WITH A DECK AND A POOL, AND WATCH ONE OF THE GREATEST FRONT MEN IN HISTORY ROCK IN THE LIVING ROOM.
A FEW KEY NOTES:
1. WE WELCOME COUPLES, BUT PLEASE KNOW IF YOU ARRIVE SOLO, YOU WILL BE PAIRED UP WITH SOMEONE AND WILL BE ASKED TO MAKE OUT WITH THAT PERSON. THIS IS ALL DONE WITH TASTE AND CLASS, AND VERY PROFESSIONAL AND SHOULD NOT CONSTRUED AS ANYTHING THAN ART.
2. THERE WILL BE SOME ON SET NUDITY, AND WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR A FEW MEN AND WOMEN WHO WOULD BE WILLING TO GO TOPLESS. AGAIN, TASTE, CLASS, AND PROFESSIONAL. QUICK SHOTS, TASTEFULLY FRAMED.
PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE OPEN TO THIS.
3. IT WILL BE A LONG, BUT COMFORTABLE DAY.
WE WILL NEED YOU TO COMMIT TO BEING THERE FROM 3:30PM-1:00AM.
HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT A COLD BORING SOUND STAGE, BUT A VERY NICE HOME WHERE YOU CAN LOUNGE BY THE POOL AND ENJOY THE VIEW.
4. MEN SHOULD HAVE A BLACK SUIT WITH A BLACK SHIRT, OR AT THE LEAST THE SHIRT AND POSSIBLY A VEST. ALSO, PLEASE WEAR A RED TIE.
WOMEN, BLACK OR RED DRESSES, ACCESSORIZE HOWEVER YOU WISH.
5. AND THE WORST PART, NO PAY. WE WILL HAVE CATERING AND CRAFT SERVICE, A BEAUTIFUL SPACE, AND THE ROCK AND ROLL THOUGH.
WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM OUR LOVELY ANGELENOS THIS EVENING BEFORE YOU GO OUT AND START TROUBLE.
A FEW KEY NOTES:
1. WE WELCOME COUPLES, BUT PLEASE KNOW IF YOU ARRIVE SOLO, YOU WILL BE PAIRED UP WITH SOMEONE AND WILL BE ASKED TO MAKE OUT WITH THAT PERSON. THIS IS ALL DONE WITH TASTE AND CLASS, AND VERY PROFESSIONAL AND SHOULD NOT CONSTRUED AS ANYTHING THAN ART.
2. THERE WILL BE SOME ON SET NUDITY, AND WE ARE STILL LOOKING FOR A FEW MEN AND WOMEN WHO WOULD BE WILLING TO GO TOPLESS. AGAIN, TASTE, CLASS, AND PROFESSIONAL. QUICK SHOTS, TASTEFULLY FRAMED.
PLEASE LET US KNOW IF YOU ARE OPEN TO THIS.
3. IT WILL BE A LONG, BUT COMFORTABLE DAY.
WE WILL NEED YOU TO COMMIT TO BEING THERE FROM 3:30PM-1:00AM.
HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT A COLD BORING SOUND STAGE, BUT A VERY NICE HOME WHERE YOU CAN LOUNGE BY THE POOL AND ENJOY THE VIEW.
4. MEN SHOULD HAVE A BLACK SUIT WITH A BLACK SHIRT, OR AT THE LEAST THE SHIRT AND POSSIBLY A VEST. ALSO, PLEASE WEAR A RED TIE.
WOMEN, BLACK OR RED DRESSES, ACCESSORIZE HOWEVER YOU WISH.
5. AND THE WORST PART, NO PAY. WE WILL HAVE CATERING AND CRAFT SERVICE, A BEAUTIFUL SPACE, AND THE ROCK AND ROLL THOUGH.
WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM OUR LOVELY ANGELENOS THIS EVENING BEFORE YOU GO OUT AND START TROUBLE.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
When does music become more than entertainment?
When does music become more than entertainment?
When it was admitted on various websites, blogs, and other forms of online news medias that Jane's Addiction would be getting back together to play at La Cita downtown, there was a sudden frenzy. Was this actually going to be with Eric Avery, the original bass player, who besides the NME's Godlike Genius award show in April, hasn't been playing with the band since 1991? Before that show in April, there was no hope that Eric would ever rejoin the band. For the first reunion in 97, Perry and the Boys decided on Flea to be their Bass player, but that was after Avery firmly said "NO." Other tours included Alanis Morissette's Chris Chaney on Bass, and oddly enough, Eric had played for Alanis also, and even dated her briefly. Martin Lenoble, who played Bass in Farrell's other project 'Porno for Pyros, had also been enlisted, for a brief period before Chaney.
All of these alternate Bass players are extraordinary musicians. But most fans will agree that having Eric back into the mix makes a huge difference. Canadian Barton Saunders flew in from Toronto just for the set, which he got into by sleeping on the sidewalk outside of La Cita, and than hanging out in the bar all day. I myself spent over 5 hours in line and didn't get in. That's the last time I'll stand in line that long for a show. I'd only do it for these guys. Even "Jane" Bainter, whom the band is named after, was asking me how she could get on the list!
So, I guess something must be in the stars, because that was the same day I heard that good Old Axl and his band is finally releasing Chinese Democracy, albeit only through Best Buy. Maybe Janes and Guns will tour together? Two L.A. legends of yore? Two champions who used to be at odds? I'm sure many Jane's fans would hate me for suggesting that bill, but you have to admit, it would be interesting. I know Axl was wearing a Janes Addiction show at a certain Rock in Rio gig. Guess he didn't have anything left to prove at that point, he could admit that he loved a fellow band from the city of angels. I heard in the early days the band didn't exactly love each other. I get that it was a more passive aggressive rivalry though. Now getting the original lineup for Guns and roses, that would surely be more than entertainment- that would be a miracle. But who knows? After all, this is the city of angels.
When it was admitted on various websites, blogs, and other forms of online news medias that Jane's Addiction would be getting back together to play at La Cita downtown, there was a sudden frenzy. Was this actually going to be with Eric Avery, the original bass player, who besides the NME's Godlike Genius award show in April, hasn't been playing with the band since 1991? Before that show in April, there was no hope that Eric would ever rejoin the band. For the first reunion in 97, Perry and the Boys decided on Flea to be their Bass player, but that was after Avery firmly said "NO." Other tours included Alanis Morissette's Chris Chaney on Bass, and oddly enough, Eric had played for Alanis also, and even dated her briefly. Martin Lenoble, who played Bass in Farrell's other project 'Porno for Pyros, had also been enlisted, for a brief period before Chaney.
All of these alternate Bass players are extraordinary musicians. But most fans will agree that having Eric back into the mix makes a huge difference. Canadian Barton Saunders flew in from Toronto just for the set, which he got into by sleeping on the sidewalk outside of La Cita, and than hanging out in the bar all day. I myself spent over 5 hours in line and didn't get in. That's the last time I'll stand in line that long for a show. I'd only do it for these guys. Even "Jane" Bainter, whom the band is named after, was asking me how she could get on the list!
So, I guess something must be in the stars, because that was the same day I heard that good Old Axl and his band is finally releasing Chinese Democracy, albeit only through Best Buy. Maybe Janes and Guns will tour together? Two L.A. legends of yore? Two champions who used to be at odds? I'm sure many Jane's fans would hate me for suggesting that bill, but you have to admit, it would be interesting. I know Axl was wearing a Janes Addiction show at a certain Rock in Rio gig. Guess he didn't have anything left to prove at that point, he could admit that he loved a fellow band from the city of angels. I heard in the early days the band didn't exactly love each other. I get that it was a more passive aggressive rivalry though. Now getting the original lineup for Guns and roses, that would surely be more than entertainment- that would be a miracle. But who knows? After all, this is the city of angels.
Dear person hammering loudly every morning:
wednesday, october 29, 2008
Dear Person hammering loudly every morning:
Must you always be fixing something while I'm trying to sleep? Why can't you wait until the afternoon for your so badly needed repairs? I would love to turn up my bass and rock out here every night, but I don't because IT'S AN APARTMENT. oh yeah, did I mention OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE? I swear to god, if it's not the LEAF BLOWER, the CONSTRUCTION WORKERS, and now YOU. I need an industrial style set of ear plugs to catch some shut eye around here. Anyone else with the same problem?
Dear Person hammering loudly every morning:
Must you always be fixing something while I'm trying to sleep? Why can't you wait until the afternoon for your so badly needed repairs? I would love to turn up my bass and rock out here every night, but I don't because IT'S AN APARTMENT. oh yeah, did I mention OTHER PEOPLE LIVE HERE? I swear to god, if it's not the LEAF BLOWER, the CONSTRUCTION WORKERS, and now YOU. I need an industrial style set of ear plugs to catch some shut eye around here. Anyone else with the same problem?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
dust funder
Dust fund babies
Dressed like dylan circa 1964
5 and dime cap : you ain't even poor
your daddy's rich
but you've got a shirt you stitched
Dressed like dylan circa 1964
5 and dime cap : you ain't even poor
your daddy's rich
but you've got a shirt you stitched
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
dicotomas hippopotamus
one day you're happy and than you're mad
i thought you're laid back
and now you're mad
there's a pot of gold in your soul
but you're looking for it
in the dust bowl
in a rabbit skull
gonna find it.
i thought you're laid back
and now you're mad
there's a pot of gold in your soul
but you're looking for it
in the dust bowl
in a rabbit skull
gonna find it.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
dialogue/ movie ideas
dialogue
"You keep on lettin' them treat you like less than a man, pretty soon you ARE less than a man. Pretty soon you're just a piece of meat. Objectified, victimized. And what do you think a man does who's treated like that long enough? After he get's tired of turning the other cheek, soon he becomes the victimizer. It's only a matter of time. It may take two months, it may take 20 years, but sooner or later, weakness becomes brutality."
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 6:05 pm 0 comments
Movie Ideas.
I got a new idea about a guy who goes into a temp agency, he's a young guy looking for a job, kind of off the streets. The agency is a real catty place, a bunch of ladies sitting around gossiping, and it's run by the conservative michelle zyman.
She tells him 'never come into a job interview without a resume,' etc. All the ladies take him for a loser but she see's something in him and looks him up online and finds out he's a musician, a writer, kind of becomes interested in his character. I started thinking about how with the internet people snoop around about people more and you never hear about that in the movies.
She sees a lot of holes in his applications, and helps him around it, helps him get a job, etc.
We soon find out Michelle is a single Mother and doesn't have it as easy as some would think. We also find out that she gave up a child for adoption and begins to suspect that our main character is her son. It'll be called temps on time.
"You keep on lettin' them treat you like less than a man, pretty soon you ARE less than a man. Pretty soon you're just a piece of meat. Objectified, victimized. And what do you think a man does who's treated like that long enough? After he get's tired of turning the other cheek, soon he becomes the victimizer. It's only a matter of time. It may take two months, it may take 20 years, but sooner or later, weakness becomes brutality."
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 6:05 pm 0 comments
Movie Ideas.
I got a new idea about a guy who goes into a temp agency, he's a young guy looking for a job, kind of off the streets. The agency is a real catty place, a bunch of ladies sitting around gossiping, and it's run by the conservative michelle zyman.
She tells him 'never come into a job interview without a resume,' etc. All the ladies take him for a loser but she see's something in him and looks him up online and finds out he's a musician, a writer, kind of becomes interested in his character. I started thinking about how with the internet people snoop around about people more and you never hear about that in the movies.
She sees a lot of holes in his applications, and helps him around it, helps him get a job, etc.
We soon find out Michelle is a single Mother and doesn't have it as easy as some would think. We also find out that she gave up a child for adoption and begins to suspect that our main character is her son. It'll be called temps on time.
Rollins
Letter to Henry Rollins
Dear Henry.
I don't usually write fanmail, I usually figure people I write won't read
it or whatever. I figure you read some of yours, so maybe you'll get to
mine. I guess what I want to say is, I really appreciate your work. You
make me laugh sometimes, mad sometimes, and mainly what you make me do is
nod my head in agreement. I think about your airport schpiel when I'm
trying to make my way the escalator and people are just standing there.
I watched a bunch of your stuff today, and your Israel concert was
insane! I love that place too, my grandma lived there for a while after
surviving Auschwitz. Funny thing is, she's this 87 year old woman, and
somehow I feel like you two would get along! Anyways man, simply put, I
just wanted to say that you help me get through the day sometimes.
Because you realize the crap of the universe, but you don't let it stop
you from experiencing life the way you want to. I remember I used to jog
on the beach, and I had a vision of you telling me to run faster, work
harder. A Friend of mine recently sent me something you wrote about
working out, how that teacher encouraged you to become stronger.
I feel like you do the same thing for me. And I just wanted so say
Thank You for making my life better.
Jeremy Ferrick.
Dear Henry.
I don't usually write fanmail, I usually figure people I write won't read
it or whatever. I figure you read some of yours, so maybe you'll get to
mine. I guess what I want to say is, I really appreciate your work. You
make me laugh sometimes, mad sometimes, and mainly what you make me do is
nod my head in agreement. I think about your airport schpiel when I'm
trying to make my way the escalator and people are just standing there.
I watched a bunch of your stuff today, and your Israel concert was
insane! I love that place too, my grandma lived there for a while after
surviving Auschwitz. Funny thing is, she's this 87 year old woman, and
somehow I feel like you two would get along! Anyways man, simply put, I
just wanted to say that you help me get through the day sometimes.
Because you realize the crap of the universe, but you don't let it stop
you from experiencing life the way you want to. I remember I used to jog
on the beach, and I had a vision of you telling me to run faster, work
harder. A Friend of mine recently sent me something you wrote about
working out, how that teacher encouraged you to become stronger.
I feel like you do the same thing for me. And I just wanted so say
Thank You for making my life better.
Jeremy Ferrick.
neocons
I believe that stupid neocon pundits know that what they're saying is wrong.
But they're all bought off. Michael Savage, Hannity, O'Reilly, they're all crooks. Not only do I not believe a word they say, I don't believe that THEY believe a word they say. You got your Handel on the law moron who tends to think the louder he raises his voice, the more a point is proven. I respect porn stars more, at least they're honest about what they're shilling.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 5:55 am 0 comments
Neo cons, you know you're wrong
http://noworldsystem.com/category/bill-handel/
when are these stupid pundits gonna come forward and admit what they've been denying? They can't be THAT stupid.
But they're all bought off. Michael Savage, Hannity, O'Reilly, they're all crooks. Not only do I not believe a word they say, I don't believe that THEY believe a word they say. You got your Handel on the law moron who tends to think the louder he raises his voice, the more a point is proven. I respect porn stars more, at least they're honest about what they're shilling.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 5:55 am 0 comments
Neo cons, you know you're wrong
http://noworldsystem.com/category/bill-handel/
when are these stupid pundits gonna come forward and admit what they've been denying? They can't be THAT stupid.
spaceship martini is a great band.
Spaceship Martini is a great band.
I saw them last night at Molly Malone's. There was like 20 people there, including Terence Leclere's mother, who I talked to. Terence is in the band and also has his own band, Ric Veda. These are the kinds of bands I've been wanting to see. Both of them have sort of a post punk, semi hippy in the city type of sound that I relate to and that tugs at my heartstrings. I want to do an interview with both bands and post it on my blog.
I saw them last night at Molly Malone's. There was like 20 people there, including Terence Leclere's mother, who I talked to. Terence is in the band and also has his own band, Ric Veda. These are the kinds of bands I've been wanting to see. Both of them have sort of a post punk, semi hippy in the city type of sound that I relate to and that tugs at my heartstrings. I want to do an interview with both bands and post it on my blog.
wednesday, september 24, 2008
i only want to be famous if god will let me
i only want to be famous
if god will let me
i don't need to be popular
if it doesn't help me feel free
i don't want to preach to a choir
that doesn't get me
so help me find my way
today
i don't need a million dollars
or the biggest mansion in town
in fact i like the place i'm living
i only hope i don't get kicked out
i appreciate just about anything
that comes about
and finds it's way to me
like that time we found a guitar in the dumpster
in century city
Always thought it'd be fun to be on the cover of a magazine
or maybe just somehow be part of some kind of scene
cause I got ideas for a million things
thoughts on how life could really be
and I guess I'm just looking for the right person to listen to me.
i only want to be famous if god will let me
i only want to be famous
if god will let me
i don't need to be popular
if it doesn't help me feel free
i don't want to preach to a choir
that doesn't get me
so help me find my way
today
i don't need a million dollars
or the biggest mansion in town
in fact i like the place i'm living
i only hope i don't get kicked out
i appreciate just about anything
that comes about
and finds it's way to me
like that time we found a guitar in the dumpster
in century city
Always thought it'd be fun to be on the cover of a magazine
or maybe just somehow be part of some kind of scene
cause I got ideas for a million things
thoughts on how life could really be
and I guess I'm just looking for the right person to listen to me.
blogs moved over from my other blog
Name for a rap album:
rap album:
2 fat 2 die
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 2:39 pm 0 comments
Weekend with Suzie
Friday night we watched CASABLANCA. ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034583/ )
Saturday we went to Bagel Nosh. http://www.yelp.com/biz/bagel-nosh-santa-monica
Than we went and parked near the Promenade and danced to her Car Stereo on top of a parking garage to Springsteen,
U2's October, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Than we went to see Religulous http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/ at Laemmales, than had Sushi across the street.
Than we had some drinks at the Penthouse in the Huntley Hotel http://thehuntleyhotel.com/penthouse-restaurant.php
I do not think I've ever seen a better view from a toilet stall in my entire life. After that, we went home and watched another
Bogart movie, The dark passage. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039302/.
The next day we looked at cats and dogs at the pound py pico/ sawtelle and had some indian food. We concluded the day
by looking at 2 houses and 2 condos for sale over by Montana st.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 1:52 pm 0 comments
John Demartini
was on the radio today I was driving back from my interview for Hollywood CPR. It was exactly the stuff I needed to hear.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 1:51 pm 0 comments
tuesday, october 7, 2008
MY MOM!!!!!!!!
My mom was interviewed about the debatesin the Press Democrat, here's what she said:
Frieda Ferrick was having coffee with friend Sharon Daniels-Duerr of Rohnert Park.
Daniels-Duerr said she’d read some recent ideas on helping the financial mess and would ask the candidates about those ideas.
But she and Ferrick also wanted to know about social issues.
“I want to hear details regarding health care,” said Daniels-Duerr.
“Health care and education have been pushed aside,” Ferrick added.
Some people clearly knew what they didn’t want to hear.
No smearing, said Guthrie. “I’m really tired of that.”
Others echoed Guthrie’s disgust.
“I want them to talk about issues and not mudslinging,” Ferrick said. “There are too many important things going on.”
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:56 pm 0 comments
future reference
guy on craigslist said these clubs pay:
Janestown: $10 cover, you keep $5 for every head you bring
Kellys Pub: Gave us 10% of the bar for the duration of the show(originally 20%)
Old Towne Pub: $5 cover, goes directly to the band
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:04 am 0 comments
rap album:
2 fat 2 die
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 2:39 pm 0 comments
Weekend with Suzie
Friday night we watched CASABLANCA. ( http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034583/ )
Saturday we went to Bagel Nosh. http://www.yelp.com/biz/bagel-nosh-santa-monica
Than we went and parked near the Promenade and danced to her Car Stereo on top of a parking garage to Springsteen,
U2's October, and Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Than we went to see Religulous http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0815241/ at Laemmales, than had Sushi across the street.
Than we had some drinks at the Penthouse in the Huntley Hotel http://thehuntleyhotel.com/penthouse-restaurant.php
I do not think I've ever seen a better view from a toilet stall in my entire life. After that, we went home and watched another
Bogart movie, The dark passage. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0039302/.
The next day we looked at cats and dogs at the pound py pico/ sawtelle and had some indian food. We concluded the day
by looking at 2 houses and 2 condos for sale over by Montana st.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 1:52 pm 0 comments
John Demartini
was on the radio today I was driving back from my interview for Hollywood CPR. It was exactly the stuff I needed to hear.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 1:51 pm 0 comments
tuesday, october 7, 2008
MY MOM!!!!!!!!
My mom was interviewed about the debatesin the Press Democrat, here's what she said:
Frieda Ferrick was having coffee with friend Sharon Daniels-Duerr of Rohnert Park.
Daniels-Duerr said she’d read some recent ideas on helping the financial mess and would ask the candidates about those ideas.
But she and Ferrick also wanted to know about social issues.
“I want to hear details regarding health care,” said Daniels-Duerr.
“Health care and education have been pushed aside,” Ferrick added.
Some people clearly knew what they didn’t want to hear.
No smearing, said Guthrie. “I’m really tired of that.”
Others echoed Guthrie’s disgust.
“I want them to talk about issues and not mudslinging,” Ferrick said. “There are too many important things going on.”
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 8:56 pm 0 comments
future reference
guy on craigslist said these clubs pay:
Janestown: $10 cover, you keep $5 for every head you bring
Kellys Pub: Gave us 10% of the bar for the duration of the show(originally 20%)
Old Towne Pub: $5 cover, goes directly to the band
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 10:04 am 0 comments
wednesday, october 15, 2008
all this talk of
heaven and hell didn't get you anywhere.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:55 pm 0 comments
lyric idea
Didn't you get the memo
can't you see the signs
she ain't
giving it up to a man
without a spine
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:53 pm 0 comments
New song: ball of knowing
always thinking of the right words to say
when I'd rather say nothin' at all
takes a lot of energy to expel these thoughts
into a ball of knowing
and understanding
and contradiction,
it's my, my great affliction.
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
everybody wants to talk to me.
their words go right through me
leave a message and i'll call you back
some other time
I don't have any money for you
I feel bad but i gotta eat too
hey mister didn't your daddy tell ya
nothin's for free?
Mine did!
And it takes energy
to swim out to the sea
out past the wall of shit
where you can't hear any more of it.
Now i feel bad (no i don't)
for speakin my truth
now I feel bad (no you don't)
why do i do
what i do
what i do- oo
why do i do
what i do
what i do-oo.
all this talk of
heaven and hell didn't get you anywhere.
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:55 pm 0 comments
lyric idea
Didn't you get the memo
can't you see the signs
she ain't
giving it up to a man
without a spine
posted by jeremy ferrick's mosaic at 12:53 pm 0 comments
New song: ball of knowing
always thinking of the right words to say
when I'd rather say nothin' at all
takes a lot of energy to expel these thoughts
into a ball of knowing
and understanding
and contradiction,
it's my, my great affliction.
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
that's what it is!
everybody wants to talk to me.
their words go right through me
leave a message and i'll call you back
some other time
I don't have any money for you
I feel bad but i gotta eat too
hey mister didn't your daddy tell ya
nothin's for free?
Mine did!
And it takes energy
to swim out to the sea
out past the wall of shit
where you can't hear any more of it.
Now i feel bad (no i don't)
for speakin my truth
now I feel bad (no you don't)
why do i do
what i do
what i do- oo
why do i do
what i do
what i do-oo.
quotes
some quotes
Pessimism is the luxury of the noble classes.
two ways out of middle class slavery: education and entertainment
Pessimism is the luxury of the noble classes.
two ways out of middle class slavery: education and entertainment
Friday, October 17, 2008
John Alanis
If you're in business, you know the world is in a giant conspiracy
to screw you out of every last dime. Sounds negative doesn't it?
Certainly not positive thinking.
Or is it?
You see, when you decide you want to become successful in any
endeavor, you have to orient yourself to a whole new reality. What
is unusual to most people, is now usual to you.
See, if you're in business you're supposed to feel like you're
being boiled alive in bullshit each and every day--because if you're
not, you're probably not doing too much or making too much money.
The more ventures you engage in, the more BS you experience.
That mindset, however, is to be welcomed because it is reality.
And when you embrace reality, and accept that each and every day
you strive for success will be full of BS along the way, you
suddenly get mentally tough.
You're able to put aside the BS that sinks other, lesser men, and
concentrate on the task at hand. At the end of the day (or the
week, or the month), you'll come out beaten and battered, but with
the success you've rightly earned.
Adopting this mindset (and actually living it) has a neat side
effect--you're suddenly very attractive to women. Why? Because
they know you can deal with the BS, set it aside, and get done what
you have to get done.
They also know most men can't do this. Women are so used to the
sissy boyfriend coming over and getting teary eyed because the
"boss disrespected him" or "yelled at him."
When they meet a man who actually thinks it's a good day when he
got off with "just an ass chewing" they jump for joy because such a
man is so rare in this day and age.
So, embrace the bullshit. You don't have to like it (I don't, and
never will), but you must acknowledge its existence, deal with it
and move on. The rewards, however, are great and most men will
never experience them.
On with the fun....
to screw you out of every last dime. Sounds negative doesn't it?
Certainly not positive thinking.
Or is it?
You see, when you decide you want to become successful in any
endeavor, you have to orient yourself to a whole new reality. What
is unusual to most people, is now usual to you.
See, if you're in business you're supposed to feel like you're
being boiled alive in bullshit each and every day--because if you're
not, you're probably not doing too much or making too much money.
The more ventures you engage in, the more BS you experience.
That mindset, however, is to be welcomed because it is reality.
And when you embrace reality, and accept that each and every day
you strive for success will be full of BS along the way, you
suddenly get mentally tough.
You're able to put aside the BS that sinks other, lesser men, and
concentrate on the task at hand. At the end of the day (or the
week, or the month), you'll come out beaten and battered, but with
the success you've rightly earned.
Adopting this mindset (and actually living it) has a neat side
effect--you're suddenly very attractive to women. Why? Because
they know you can deal with the BS, set it aside, and get done what
you have to get done.
They also know most men can't do this. Women are so used to the
sissy boyfriend coming over and getting teary eyed because the
"boss disrespected him" or "yelled at him."
When they meet a man who actually thinks it's a good day when he
got off with "just an ass chewing" they jump for joy because such a
man is so rare in this day and age.
So, embrace the bullshit. You don't have to like it (I don't, and
never will), but you must acknowledge its existence, deal with it
and move on. The rewards, however, are great and most men will
never experience them.
On with the fun....
a wannabe vegetarian succumbs to a late night cornbeef sandwich at Canters, and then repents over a pineapple shake and zucchini fries at Astro Burger
So, I understand the merits of vegetarianism. I would say I do not eat meat about 95% of the time. I love juicing, raw fooding, vegan cupcakes, etc. But whenever I sit down at Canters on Fairfax the omnivore in me just jumps out of nowhere. I once was told by an actor in Northern California that sometimes he makes the 425 mile drive from his house just to go get a Pastrami sandwich. There's just nothing like a a plate of hot food after a sweaty gig in the adjacent Kibitz room. (My band has played there a dozen times this year.) And the Matzo Ball soup, while not quite as good as Grandma's, comes pretty darn close. (That's mainly veggie, except, I think the broth.)
My friends and I are usually throwing food around there like it's going out of style. Trading half a tuna for half a caesar salad, tossing bagel chips at each other in the heat of debate (comes with the matzo ball soup.) If your brain needs an omega three break during your late night studies, grab some bagel and lox!
Gotta get that Screenplay pounded out by next weekend? The coffee is strong here. And the waitstaff is truly inspirational. They've got attitude, stories, and many have been around quite a few years. It's a non kosher greasy spoon with a yiddish flavor, where the extroverted come to be reclusive, and the timid come to rock out! Canter's was established in 1924, and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Check them out here: www.cantersdeli.com
Of course if you're trying to avoid a Gastric bypass, hop down the street to Swingers at 8020 Beverly Blvd. It's literally around the corner from Canters. Decked out in with a Warhol- retro vibe, it's opened until 4 in the morning, and everything I've ever eaten here is fantastic. It's fairly healthy, and when I want a vegan burrito it's the perfect place. If you're in the mood for some finger food you can load up on some of the few dozen side dishes they have, most of which are fairly affordable and range from quinoa, goat cheese, sauteed zucchini, or my personal fave, the homemade guacamole. Honestly, their menu is so vast, and not just with shakes, smoothies, entrees and desserts, but there is also a fairly substantial booze section in case you want to continue your late night buzz! In my group, a lot of times we recommend that for anyone who has a long drive ahead, the rocket shake will give you the fuel you need. It's your basic chocolate shake but it's got an extra dose of espresso, AND some espresso beans thrown in for good measure. Check it out!
http://www.swingersdiner.com/
If you're looking for a quicker fix, we have a third option, where I believe you can do no wrong. The Astro Burger is a great late night alternative. There's a few of them, I recommend the one at 7475 Santa Monica Blvd. They're opened until three in the morning and offer everything from fried zucchini (a veggie favorite) to the pineapple shake (my personal favorite.) It's a classic example of Los Angeles at it's Melting pot multicultural best. It offers an assortment of yummified mouth watering pleasantries from Greek and Mexico, AND a vegetarian menu that it filled with so many deluxe items (I must admit I haven't tried them all - but will.) For all you Carnivores, there's more than enough for your palate. It's a guilty omnivore's dream- and easier to stay on the Veggie side of the Gastronomical line than other restaurants previously mentioned. (Sorry Canters.)
As far as veggie burgers go, there is no rival for their garden burger. I prefer the non soy patty which is a blend of mushrooms, onions, herbs, and low fat cheese. There is a soy cheese available upon request, but I'm personally avoiding soy for now so can't recommend it. Anyways, I've tasted v.b.'s at every corner of the planet and prefer the ones that you can find at the Santa Monica and Gardener Astro burger. http://www.astroburger.com/
So, I understand the merits of vegetarianism. I would say I do not eat meat about 95% of the time. I love juicing, raw fooding, vegan cupcakes, etc. But whenever I sit down at Canters on Fairfax the omnivore in me just jumps out of nowhere. I once was told by an actor in Northern California that sometimes he makes the 425 mile drive from his house just to go get a Pastrami sandwich. There's just nothing like a a plate of hot food after a sweaty gig in the adjacent Kibitz room. (My band has played there a dozen times this year.) And the Matzo Ball soup, while not quite as good as Grandma's, comes pretty darn close. (That's mainly veggie, except, I think the broth.)
My friends and I are usually throwing food around there like it's going out of style. Trading half a tuna for half a caesar salad, tossing bagel chips at each other in the heat of debate (comes with the matzo ball soup.) If your brain needs an omega three break during your late night studies, grab some bagel and lox!
Gotta get that Screenplay pounded out by next weekend? The coffee is strong here. And the waitstaff is truly inspirational. They've got attitude, stories, and many have been around quite a few years. It's a non kosher greasy spoon with a yiddish flavor, where the extroverted come to be reclusive, and the timid come to rock out! Canter's was established in 1924, and it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Check them out here: www.cantersdeli.com
Of course if you're trying to avoid a Gastric bypass, hop down the street to Swingers at 8020 Beverly Blvd. It's literally around the corner from Canters. Decked out in with a Warhol- retro vibe, it's opened until 4 in the morning, and everything I've ever eaten here is fantastic. It's fairly healthy, and when I want a vegan burrito it's the perfect place. If you're in the mood for some finger food you can load up on some of the few dozen side dishes they have, most of which are fairly affordable and range from quinoa, goat cheese, sauteed zucchini, or my personal fave, the homemade guacamole. Honestly, their menu is so vast, and not just with shakes, smoothies, entrees and desserts, but there is also a fairly substantial booze section in case you want to continue your late night buzz! In my group, a lot of times we recommend that for anyone who has a long drive ahead, the rocket shake will give you the fuel you need. It's your basic chocolate shake but it's got an extra dose of espresso, AND some espresso beans thrown in for good measure. Check it out!
http://www.swingersdiner.com/
If you're looking for a quicker fix, we have a third option, where I believe you can do no wrong. The Astro Burger is a great late night alternative. There's a few of them, I recommend the one at 7475 Santa Monica Blvd. They're opened until three in the morning and offer everything from fried zucchini (a veggie favorite) to the pineapple shake (my personal favorite.) It's a classic example of Los Angeles at it's Melting pot multicultural best. It offers an assortment of yummified mouth watering pleasantries from Greek and Mexico, AND a vegetarian menu that it filled with so many deluxe items (I must admit I haven't tried them all - but will.) For all you Carnivores, there's more than enough for your palate. It's a guilty omnivore's dream- and easier to stay on the Veggie side of the Gastronomical line than other restaurants previously mentioned. (Sorry Canters.)
As far as veggie burgers go, there is no rival for their garden burger. I prefer the non soy patty which is a blend of mushrooms, onions, herbs, and low fat cheese. There is a soy cheese available upon request, but I'm personally avoiding soy for now so can't recommend it. Anyways, I've tasted v.b.'s at every corner of the planet and prefer the ones that you can find at the Santa Monica and Gardener Astro burger. http://www.astroburger.com/
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
tennyson:
"My strength is as the strength of ten, / Because my heart is pure". He is the second most frequently quoted writer in The Oxford
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
I came across this on montalk.net:
» An acquaintance of mine familiar with these conspiracy subjects is bitter and depressed about the state of things, especially about how we are being controlled by forces we cannot even comprehend. He has experienced this control first hand and is disheartened.
About being depressed and bitter, a lifetime of being under the gun will do that. He knows full well, because he sees it every day, that there are higher negative forces who can manipulate reality to the smallest detail, and I think that is a bit overwhelming for him to see how powerless we can be in the face of that.
But when it comes to dealing with such forces, there is a way out and beyond. And it has to do with how our consciousness throttles or redirects the flow of our experiences, and how it hooks us up with whatever hyper-dimensional forces we are resonating with. It’s kind of like we parachuted behind enemy lines and are now surrounded by hostility, and our radios got thrown out of whack and we can only pick up noise or the local enemy communications. By retuning the radio, we can make contact with our own air support, who can then drop-lift supplies, give guidance, and take out a few enemies when things get too tough. This world is a rigged game, and the only way to win a rigged game is to not play by its rules, but by the rules of something outside of it that has more power than it.
And depression, hopelessness, bitterness is how not to retune the radio. I think a combination of optimism and hope concerning the things we cannot absolutely know or control is necessary, and awareness and responsible action for the things we can do something about is required. The first attunes consciousness to a certain frequency that shifts the probability of events away from further misfortune, and the latter shifts the spectrum of what is possible versus impossible. This has worked in my own life, and through it one can create a bubble of synchronicity or “good luck and protection” that only bursts when you fail to uphold that elevated state of mind and slip back into mindlessness and cynicism. Which happens to me periodically and then, after probability shifts the opposite way and holds a hot poker to my ass, I snap back to attention and turn things around.
About being depressed and bitter, a lifetime of being under the gun will do that. He knows full well, because he sees it every day, that there are higher negative forces who can manipulate reality to the smallest detail, and I think that is a bit overwhelming for him to see how powerless we can be in the face of that.
But when it comes to dealing with such forces, there is a way out and beyond. And it has to do with how our consciousness throttles or redirects the flow of our experiences, and how it hooks us up with whatever hyper-dimensional forces we are resonating with. It’s kind of like we parachuted behind enemy lines and are now surrounded by hostility, and our radios got thrown out of whack and we can only pick up noise or the local enemy communications. By retuning the radio, we can make contact with our own air support, who can then drop-lift supplies, give guidance, and take out a few enemies when things get too tough. This world is a rigged game, and the only way to win a rigged game is to not play by its rules, but by the rules of something outside of it that has more power than it.
And depression, hopelessness, bitterness is how not to retune the radio. I think a combination of optimism and hope concerning the things we cannot absolutely know or control is necessary, and awareness and responsible action for the things we can do something about is required. The first attunes consciousness to a certain frequency that shifts the probability of events away from further misfortune, and the latter shifts the spectrum of what is possible versus impossible. This has worked in my own life, and through it one can create a bubble of synchronicity or “good luck and protection” that only bursts when you fail to uphold that elevated state of mind and slip back into mindlessness and cynicism. Which happens to me periodically and then, after probability shifts the opposite way and holds a hot poker to my ass, I snap back to attention and turn things around.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Henry Rollins:
Good story...
Originally Posted by Henry Rollins
I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be
like you parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself.
Completely.
When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of
all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The
humiliation of teachers calling me "garbage can" and telling me I'd be
mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow
students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and
my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I
didn't run home crying, wondering why. I knew all too well. I was
there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was
pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every
waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some
strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy.
I hated myself all the time. As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to
talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing
that I wasn't going to get pounded in the hallway between classes.
Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a
few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the
greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his
head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and
you'll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school
sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn't think much of them
either.
Then came Mr. Pepperman, my adviser. He was a powerfully built Vietnam
veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class.
Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to
the blackboard.
Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he
asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no. He told
me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a
hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started
to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the
weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special.
My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought
the weights, but I couldn't even drag them to my mom's car. An
attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.
Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.'s office after school. He said
that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on
a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I
wasn't looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were
getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or
tell anyone at school what I was doing.
In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than
I ever did in any of my classes. I didn't want to blow it. I went home
that night and started right in. Weeks passed, and every once in a
while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my
books flying. The other students didn't know what to think. More weeks
passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense
the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.
Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of
nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I
laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home
and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just
the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My
chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can
remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one
could ever take it away. You couldn't say shit to me.
It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have
learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I
was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong.
When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing
it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it
wouldn't teach you anything. That's the way the Iron talks to you. It
tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to
resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.
It wasn't until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I
had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes
without work and a ceratin amount of pain. When I finish a set that
leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I
know it can't be as bad as that workout.
I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is
not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the
Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most
injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks
lifting weight that my body wasn't ready for and spent a few months not
picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you're not
prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and
self-control.
I have never met a truly strong person who didn't have self-respect. I
think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself
off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on
someone's shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys
working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the
worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and
insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the
difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr.
Pepperman.
Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and
sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical
and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the
heart.
Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he
was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a
weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most
romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a
woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was
racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that
sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most
intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see
her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the
loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads.
I prefer to work out alone. It enables me to concentrate on the lessons
that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you're made of is always
time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had
taught me how to live.
Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes
down these days, it's some kind of miracle if you're not insane. People
have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I
see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban
homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly.
And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by
that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the
Iron mind.
Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into
a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind
thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind
degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my
mind. The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is
no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and
body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn
back.
The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all
kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron
will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference
point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in
the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It
never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two
hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.
Originally Posted by Henry Rollins
I believe that the definition of definition is reinvention. To not be
like you parents. To not be like your friends. To be yourself.
Completely.
When I was young I had no sense of myself. All I was, was a product of
all the fear and humiliation I suffered. Fear of my parents. The
humiliation of teachers calling me "garbage can" and telling me I'd be
mowing lawns for a living. And the very real terror of my fellow
students. I was threatened and beaten up for the color of my skin and
my size. I was skinny and clumsy, and when others would tease me I
didn't run home crying, wondering why. I knew all too well. I was
there to be antagonized. In sports I was laughed at. A spaz. I was
pretty good at boxing but only because the rage that filled my every
waking moment made me wild and unpredictable. I fought with some
strange fury. The other boys thought I was crazy.
I hated myself all the time. As stupid at it seems now, I wanted to
talk like them, dress like them, carry myself with the ease of knowing
that I wasn't going to get pounded in the hallway between classes.
Years passed and I learned to keep it all inside. I only talked to a
few boys in my grade. Other losers. Some of them are to this day the
greatest people I have ever known. Hang out with a guy who has had his
head flushed down a toilet a few times, treat him with respect, and
you'll find a faithful friend forever. But even with friends, school
sucked. Teachers gave me hard time. I didn't think much of them
either.
Then came Mr. Pepperman, my adviser. He was a powerfully built Vietnam
veteran, and he was scary. No one ever talked out of turn in his class.
Once one kid did and Mr. P. lifted him off the ground and pinned him to
the blackboard.
Mr. P. could see that I was in bad shape, and one Friday in October he
asked me if I had ever worked out with weights. I told him no. He told
me that I was going to take some of the money that I had saved and buy a
hundred-pound set of weights at Sears. As I left his office, I started
to think of things I would say to him on Monday when he asked about the
weights that I was not going to buy. Still, it made me feel special.
My father never really got that close to caring. On Saturday I bought
the weights, but I couldn't even drag them to my mom's car. An
attendant laughed at me as he put them on a dolly.
Monday came and I was called into Mr. P.'s office after school. He said
that he was going to show me how to work out. He was going to put me on
a program and start hitting me in the solar plexus in the hallway when I
wasn't looking. When I could take the punch we would know that we were
getting somewhere. At no time was I to look at myself in the mirror or
tell anyone at school what I was doing.
In the gym he showed me ten basic exercises. I paid more attention than
I ever did in any of my classes. I didn't want to blow it. I went home
that night and started right in. Weeks passed, and every once in a
while Mr. P. would give me a shot and drop me in the hallway, sending my
books flying. The other students didn't know what to think. More weeks
passed, and I was steadily adding new weights to the bar. I could sense
the power inside my body growing. I could feel it.
Right before Christmas break I was walking to class, and from out of
nowhere Mr. Pepperman appeared and gave me a shot in the chest. I
laughed and kept going. He said I could look at myself now. I got home
and ran to the bathroom and pulled off my shirt. I saw a body, not just
the shell that housed my stomach and my heart. My biceps bulged. My
chest had definition. I felt strong. It was the first time I can
remember having a sense of myself. I had done something and no one
could ever take it away. You couldn't say shit to me.
It took me years to fully appreciate the value of the lessons I have
learned from the Iron. I used to think that it was my adversary, that I
was trying to lift that which does not want to be lifted. I was wrong.
When the Iron doesn't want to come off the mat, it's the kindest thing
it can do for you. If it flew up and went through the ceiling, it
wouldn't teach you anything. That's the way the Iron talks to you. It
tells you that the material you work with is that which you will come to
resemble. That which you work against will always work against you.
It wasn't until my late twenties that I learned that by working out I
had given myself a great gift. I learned that nothing good comes
without work and a ceratin amount of pain. When I finish a set that
leaves me shaking, I know more about myself. When something gets bad, I
know it can't be as bad as that workout.
I used to fight the pain, but recently this became clear to me: pain is
not my enemy; it is my call to greatness. But when dealing with the
Iron, one must be careful to interpret the pain correctly. Most
injuries involving the Iron come from ego. I once spent a few weeks
lifting weight that my body wasn't ready for and spent a few months not
picking up anything heavier than a fork. Try to lift what you're not
prepared to and the Iron will teach you a little lesson in restraint and
self-control.
I have never met a truly strong person who didn't have self-respect. I
think a lot of inwardly and outwardly directed contempt passes itself
off as self-respect: the idea of raising yourself by stepping on
someone's shoulders instead of doing it yourself. When I see guys
working out for cosmetic reasons, I see vanity exposing them in the
worst way, as cartoon characters, billboards for imbalance and
insecurity. Strength reveals itself through character. It is the
difference between bouncers who get off strong-arming people and Mr.
Pepperman.
Muscle mass does not always equal strength. Strength is kindness and
sensitivity. Strength is understanding that your power is both physical
and emotional. That it comes from the body and the mind. And the
heart.
Yukio Mishima said that he could not entertain the idea of romance if he
was not strong. Romance is such a strong and overwhelming passion, a
weakened body cannot sustain it for long. I have some of my most
romantic thoughts when I am with the Iron. Once I was in love with a
woman. I thought about her the most when the pain from a workout was
racing through my body. Everything in me wanted her. So much so that
sex was only a fraction of my total desire. It was the single most
intense love I have ever felt, but she lived far away and I didn't see
her very often. Working out was a healthy way of dealing with the
loneliness. To this day, when I work out I usually listen to ballads.
I prefer to work out alone. It enables me to concentrate on the lessons
that the Iron has for me. Learning about what you're made of is always
time well spent, and I have found no better teacher. The Iron had
taught me how to live.
Life is capable of driving you out of your mind. The way it all comes
down these days, it's some kind of miracle if you're not insane. People
have become separated from their bodies. They are no longer whole. I
see them move from their offices to their cars and on to their suburban
homes. They stress out constantly, they lose sleep, they eat badly.
And they behave badly. Their egos run wild; they become motivated by
that which will eventually give them a massive stroke. They need the
Iron mind.
Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into
a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind
thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind
degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my
mind. The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is
no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and
body have been awakened to their true potential, it's impossible to turn
back.
The Iron never lies to you. You can walk outside and listen to all
kinds of talk, get told that you're a god or a total bastard. The Iron
will always kick you the real deal. The Iron is the great reference
point, the all-knowing perspective giver. Always there like a beacon in
the pitch black. I have found the Iron to be my greatest friend. It
never freaks out on me, never runs. Friends may come and go. But two
hundred pounds is always two hundred pounds.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Email from Bernard Rhodes, manager of the Clash.
Jeremy,
Thanks for the praise; my compliments on your foresight.
Things are real busy at the moment, I?ll get back with some feedback soon.
Meantime stay on it?.
Regards,
BR
Thanks for the praise; my compliments on your foresight.
Things are real busy at the moment, I?ll get back with some feedback soon.
Meantime stay on it?.
Regards,
BR
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Racism sucks.
So, unfortunately I find there to be more and more racism out there. I wanted to apply for the Streetlights program where they help people that don't have a lot of money learn how to work on movie sets. Check out what they wrote me back:
Thank you for your interest in our program.
Our mission is to assist ethnic minorities as governed to us by the federal
government. The racial ethnic guidelines break down as follows: Latino,
African/African-American, Asian/Pacific Islander or Native American (this
must be acknowledged by the tribe).
We wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.
In other words, fuck you whitey.
Thank you for your interest in our program.
Our mission is to assist ethnic minorities as governed to us by the federal
government. The racial ethnic guidelines break down as follows: Latino,
African/African-American, Asian/Pacific Islander or Native American (this
must be acknowledged by the tribe).
We wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors.
In other words, fuck you whitey.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Renouncer Ramblings
Setting up your morning routine.
We've all had those moments where we feel invincible. I can recall certain athletic settings, a brisk jog in the mountains, swimming on a pristine beach on the big island of hawaii. We have to recreate those kinds of feelings in the morning when we wake up so that we can program the day for success. I have a lot of things I'm worried about right now, but I can't let that get in the way: For instance, I don't have any money. Literally, I have like not even a dollar left in my bank account. And yet, today, I'm going to therapy, (I may have to ask my therapist if I can pay her next week.) I am practicing with my band downtown. I owe $50 for rehearsal space rent, and I have barely any gas in my car to get there. I've been ignoring my dental problems for months now and on saturday part of one of my upper back molars got chipped off while I was using a plastic floss stick. So I think I'm going to need to go to the LA free clinic tomorrow.
Shit! I've just realized I have a 115 pm appointment at apple one which coincides with my therapy appointment- gonna have to make a change. Oops, now I'm realizing I don't even know whether my therapy appt. is today or wednesday- I don't have a set routine with my therapist- we pretty much decide on the next meeting at the end of every session.
So I'm beginning to realize why people establish order and routines in their life. Have I EVER had that? If I really think hard about it, the most routine time in my life was Junior High School. I actually got decent grades in Junior High (not like high school), and I played soccer in the fall after school. On top of that I did theater the first year and a lot of guitar playing too. (That was when I started.)
There was also a time when I lived in North Carolina, where all I did was work. I was 19 years old. I was paying $200 a month in this rinky dink room adjacent to the landlord, who was a paranoid Greek man who claimed to be ex-CIA- I think that's what made me interested in espionage. Anyways, I would get up and be at work at whole foods at like 8 or 9 in the morning, than at 5 I would ride my bicycle way across town to my other job, Salsa Fresh, over 6 miles, than ride back home another 6 miles when I got out at like 11. So I'd get home at midnight or 1 and I'd fall asleep to Tom Snyder.
I never really had a very regimented life. Hard as it is for me to admit it, I'm just not very disciplined. Now when it comes to doing things I like, I'm pretty good at cracking the whip on myself. But if I really look at it realistically, I do tend to be more motivated when somebody is cracking it on me. AHA! That's why I haven't developed the leadership t start my own band! I must develop discipline.
We've all had those moments where we feel invincible. I can recall certain athletic settings, a brisk jog in the mountains, swimming on a pristine beach on the big island of hawaii. We have to recreate those kinds of feelings in the morning when we wake up so that we can program the day for success. I have a lot of things I'm worried about right now, but I can't let that get in the way: For instance, I don't have any money. Literally, I have like not even a dollar left in my bank account. And yet, today, I'm going to therapy, (I may have to ask my therapist if I can pay her next week.) I am practicing with my band downtown. I owe $50 for rehearsal space rent, and I have barely any gas in my car to get there. I've been ignoring my dental problems for months now and on saturday part of one of my upper back molars got chipped off while I was using a plastic floss stick. So I think I'm going to need to go to the LA free clinic tomorrow.
Shit! I've just realized I have a 115 pm appointment at apple one which coincides with my therapy appointment- gonna have to make a change. Oops, now I'm realizing I don't even know whether my therapy appt. is today or wednesday- I don't have a set routine with my therapist- we pretty much decide on the next meeting at the end of every session.
So I'm beginning to realize why people establish order and routines in their life. Have I EVER had that? If I really think hard about it, the most routine time in my life was Junior High School. I actually got decent grades in Junior High (not like high school), and I played soccer in the fall after school. On top of that I did theater the first year and a lot of guitar playing too. (That was when I started.)
There was also a time when I lived in North Carolina, where all I did was work. I was 19 years old. I was paying $200 a month in this rinky dink room adjacent to the landlord, who was a paranoid Greek man who claimed to be ex-CIA- I think that's what made me interested in espionage. Anyways, I would get up and be at work at whole foods at like 8 or 9 in the morning, than at 5 I would ride my bicycle way across town to my other job, Salsa Fresh, over 6 miles, than ride back home another 6 miles when I got out at like 11. So I'd get home at midnight or 1 and I'd fall asleep to Tom Snyder.
I never really had a very regimented life. Hard as it is for me to admit it, I'm just not very disciplined. Now when it comes to doing things I like, I'm pretty good at cracking the whip on myself. But if I really look at it realistically, I do tend to be more motivated when somebody is cracking it on me. AHA! That's why I haven't developed the leadership t start my own band! I must develop discipline.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
organized........
Liberating myself from organized religion.
I have recently become liberated from organized religion. I have come to understand, that for the most part, organized religion is nothing but a business. i think that being a stripper is more pure than being in the religious business. And definitely more honest. Strippers are up front about what they're doing. A preacher is most likely spouting off about a philosophy that he's not following. I have hopped around churches, temples, buddhist centers. I'm not taking that stuff seriously any more. Yeah, I'll go to holiday services every once and a while for community purposes. But my true temple is my body, my spiritual center my heart.
Recently I have been attending meetings at a certain spiritual center that I do not want to mention and have discontinued
going there. Many of the people I've met there were extremely friendly, yet I get the sense that they do not socialize much outside of their religious circle. This is the kind of thing that divides. On more than one occasion I had been talking about being inspired by 'the Secret' and being told that it was a watered down version of their teachings! I beg to differ. I am not going to name this organization but I felt that the members, while being friendly, were very pushy about having me become a member, trying to have me believe that the reason I wasn't successful in certain endeavors was because I wasn't a member. Meanwhile there's a lots of people there whose whole lives merely seemed to revolve in religious meetings, and it seemed like many of these people were neglecting other important aspects of their lives.
Again, many of these people are very good people. I just feel that they are buying into an illusion that isn't real. And what made me suspicious from the very beginning was the fact that they worshipped a human being. I will never ever worship a human being. I've come close to worshipping my mother, but even she isn't God.
I have recently become liberated from organized religion. I have come to understand, that for the most part, organized religion is nothing but a business. i think that being a stripper is more pure than being in the religious business. And definitely more honest. Strippers are up front about what they're doing. A preacher is most likely spouting off about a philosophy that he's not following. I have hopped around churches, temples, buddhist centers. I'm not taking that stuff seriously any more. Yeah, I'll go to holiday services every once and a while for community purposes. But my true temple is my body, my spiritual center my heart.
Recently I have been attending meetings at a certain spiritual center that I do not want to mention and have discontinued
going there. Many of the people I've met there were extremely friendly, yet I get the sense that they do not socialize much outside of their religious circle. This is the kind of thing that divides. On more than one occasion I had been talking about being inspired by 'the Secret' and being told that it was a watered down version of their teachings! I beg to differ. I am not going to name this organization but I felt that the members, while being friendly, were very pushy about having me become a member, trying to have me believe that the reason I wasn't successful in certain endeavors was because I wasn't a member. Meanwhile there's a lots of people there whose whole lives merely seemed to revolve in religious meetings, and it seemed like many of these people were neglecting other important aspects of their lives.
Again, many of these people are very good people. I just feel that they are buying into an illusion that isn't real. And what made me suspicious from the very beginning was the fact that they worshipped a human being. I will never ever worship a human being. I've come close to worshipping my mother, but even she isn't God.
Monday, September 1, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Ideas for gig/ party/ reunion.
So the Kibitz room is always where our band the Dirty Suits always have our funnest gigs. At the same time, I've been reconnecting with a lot of people from my summer camp on facebook, and am going to organize an Alonim reunion type of thing. I have an idea to pass out disposable cameras so that everyone will be taking pictures. I was at a party in NYC once and it was really fun.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
i didn't write this but i love it
How to Vanquish Fear (Don Juan & Carlos Castenedas) May 23, 2007
Subject: How to vanquish fear
From: Justin
Date: Wed, May 23, 2007
To: Editor
Dear Ken,
Thanks for your great site, thought you might appreciate this.
How to vanquish the predator's foreign installation of fear = Bravely, courageously, facing infinity with inner silence.
Please keep up the good work, your site promotes awareness.
Sincerely,
Justin
A conversation between Carlos Castenedas and Yaqui shaman don Juan
"They discovered that we have a companion for life," he said, as clearly as he could. "We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master.
"It has rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don't do so."
It was very dark around us, and that seemed to curtail any expression on my part. If it had been daylight, I would have laughed my head off. In the dark, I felt quite inhibited.
"It's pitch black around us," don Juan said, "but if you look out of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you."
He was right. I could still see them. Their movement made me dizzy. Don Juan turned on the light, and that seemed to dissipate everything.
Don Juan said, "You have arrived, by your effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics.
"I have been beating around the bush all this time, insinuating to you that something is holding us prisoner. Indeed we are held prisoner! This was an energetic fact for the sorcerers of ancient Mexico."
"Why has this predator taken over in the fashion that you're describing, don Juan?" I asked. "There must be a logical explanation."
"There is an explanation," don Juan replied, "which is the simplest explanation in the world.
"They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance.
"Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops, gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them."
I felt that my head was shaking violently from side to side. I could not express my profound sense of unease and discontentment, but my body moved to bring it to the surface. I shook from head to toe without any volition on my part.
I heard myself saying, "No, no, no, no. This is absurd, don Juan. What you're saying is something monstrous. It simply can't be true, for sorcerers, or for average men, or for anyone."
"Why not?" don Juan asked calmly. "Why not? Because it infuriates you?"
"Yes, it infuriates me," I retorted. "Those claims are monstrous!"
"Well," he said, "you haven't heard all the claims yet. Wait a bit longer and see how you feel.
"I'm going to subject you to a blitz. That is, I'm going to subject your mind to tremendous onslaughts; and you cannot get up and leave because you're caught. Not because I'm holding you prisoner, but because something in you will prevent you from leaving while another part of you is going to go truthfully berserk. So brace yourself!"
There was something in me which I felt was a 'glutton for punishment'. He was right. I wouldn't have left the house for the world; and yet I didn't like one bit the inanities he was spouting.
Don Juan said, "I want to appeal to your analytical mind. Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer, and the stupidity of his systems of beliefs; or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior.
"Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs; our ideas of good and evil; our social mores. The predators are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations, and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, [* covetousness- an envious eagerness to possess something] greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal."
"But how can they do this, don Juan?" I asked, somehow angered further by what he was saying. "Do they whisper all that in our ears while we are asleep?"
"No, they don't do it that way. That's idiotic!" don Juan said, smiling. "They are infinitely more efficient and organized than that.
"In order to keep us obedient, meek and weak, the predators engaged themselves in a stupendous maneuver- stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a fighting strategist; a horrendous maneuver from the point of view of those who suffer it.
"They gave us their mind! Do you hear me? The predators give us their mind which becomes our mind. The predators' mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, and filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.
"I know that even though you have never suffered hunger," he went on, "you have food anxiety which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered, and its food is going to be denied.
"Through the mind, which after all is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. The predators ensure in this manner a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear."
"It's not that I can't accept all this at face value, don Juan," I said. "I could, but there's something so odious about it that it actually repels me. It forces me to take a contradictory stand.
"If it's true that they eat us, how do they do it?"
Don Juan had a broad smile on his face. He was as pleased as punch.
He explained that sorcerers see infant human beings as strange, luminous balls of energy covered from the top to the bottom with a glowing coat something like a plastic cover that is adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy.
He said that that glowing coat of awareness was what the predators consumed, and that when a human being reached adulthood, all that was left of that glowing coat of awareness was a narrow fringe that went from the ground to the top of the toes. That fringe permitted mankind to continue living, but only barely.
As if I were in a dream, I heard don Juan explaining that, to his knowledge, man was the only species that had the glowing coat of awareness outside that luminous cocoon. Therefore, he became easy prey for an awareness of a different order; such as the heavy awareness of the predator.
He then made the most damaging statement he had made so far. He said that this narrow fringe of awareness was the epicenter of self-reflection where man was irremediably caught.
By playing on our self-reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us, the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless, predatory fashion.
They give us inane problems that force those flares of awareness to rise, and in this manner they keep us alive in order for them to be fed with the energetic flare of our pseudo-concerns.
There must have been something in what don Juan was saying which was so devastating to me that at that point I actually got sick to my stomach.
After a moment's pause long enough for me to recover, I asked don Juan, "But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although they see the predators, don't do anything about it?"
"There's nothing that you and I can do about it," don Juan said in a grave, sad voice. "All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us.
"How can you ask your fellow men to go through those rigors of discipline? They'll laugh and make fun of you; and the more aggressive ones will beat the shit out of you- and not so much because they don't believe it.
"Down in the depths of every human being, there is an ancestral, visceral [* visceral- obtained through intuition rather than from reasoning or observation] knowledge about the predators' existence."
My analytical mind swung back and forth like a yo-yo. It left me and came back, and left me and came back again. Whatever don Juan was proposing was preposterous, incredible.
At the same time, it was a most reasonable thing; so simple. It explained every kind of human contradiction I could think of.
But how could one have taken all this seriously? Don Juan was pushing me into the path of an avalanche that would take me down forever.
I felt another wave of a threatening sensation. The wave didn't stem from me, yet it was attached to me. Don Juan was doing something to me, mysteriously positive and terribly negative at the same time. I sensed it as an attempt to cut a thin film that seemed to be glued to me.
His eyes were fixed on mine in an unblinking stare. He moved his eyes away, and began to talk without looking at me anymore.
"Whenever doubts plague you to a dangerous point," he said, "do something pragmatic about it. Turn off the light. Pierce the darkness; find out what you can see." He got up to turn off the lights. I stopped him.
"No, no, don Juan," I said, "don't turn off the lights. I'm doing okay."
What I felt then was a most unusual, for me, fear of the darkness. The mere thought of it made me pant. I definitely knew something viscerally, [* visceral- relating to or affecting internal organs collectively rather than from reasoning or observation] but I wouldn't dare touch it, or bring it to the surface, not in a million years!
"You saw the fleeting shadows against the trees," don Juan said, sitting back against his chair. "That's pretty good. I'd like you to see them inside this room. You're not seeing anything. You're just merely catching fleeting images. You have enough energy for that."
I feared that don Juan would get up anyway and turn off the lights, which he did. Two seconds later, I was screaming my head off. Not only did I catch a glimpse of those fleeting images, I heard them buzzing by my ears.
Don Juan doubled up with laughter as he turned on the lights.
"What a temperamental fellow!" he said. "A total disbeliever, on the one hand; and a total pragmatist on the other.
"You must arrange this internal fight, otherwise you're going to swell up like a big toad and burst."
Don Juan kept on pushing his barb deeper and deeper into me. "The sorcerers of ancient Mexico," he said, "saw the predator. They called it the flyer because it leaps through the air. It is not a pretty sight. It is a big shadow, impenetrably dark, a black shadow that jumps through the air. Then, it lands flat on the ground.
"The sorcerers of ancient Mexico were quite ill at ease with the idea of when it made its appearance on Earth. They reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one point, with stupendous insights and feats of awareness that are mythological legends nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man."
I wanted to get angry and call him a paranoiac, but somehow the righteousness that was usually just underneath the surface of my being wasn't there.
Something in me was beyond the point of asking myself my favorite question: What if all that he said is true? At the moment he was talking to me that night, in my heart of hearts, I felt that all of what he was saying was true, but at the same time and with equal force, I felt that all that he was saying was absurdity itself.
"What are you saying, don Juan?" I asked feebly. My throat was constricted. I could hardly breathe.
"What I'm saying is that what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is very smart and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He's an average piece of meat. There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic."
Don Juan's words were eliciting a strange, bodily reaction in me comparable to the sensation of nausea. It was as if I were going to get sick to my stomach again. But the nausea was coming from the bottom of my being, from the marrow of my bones. I convulsed involuntarily.
Don Juan shook me by the shoulders forcefully. I felt my neck wobbling back and forth under the impact of his grip. The maneuver calmed me down at once. I felt more in control.
"This predator," don Juan said, "which, of course, is an inorganic being, is not altogether invisible to us as other inorganic beings are. I think as children we do see it, but we decide it's so horrific that we don't want to think about it.
"Children, of course, could insist on focusing on the sight, but everybody else around them dissuades them from doing so.
Continuing, he said, "The only alternative left for mankind is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent.
"But by discipline I don't mean harsh routines. I don't mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you're blue.
"Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For sorcerers, discipline is an art; the art of facing infinity without flinching; not because they are strong and tough, but because they are filled with awe."
"In what way would the sorcerers' discipline be a deterrent to the flyers?" I asked.
Don Juan scrutinized my face as if to discover any signs of my disbelief. He said,"Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer.
"The result is that the predators become bewildered. An inedible glowing coat of awareness is not part of their cognition, I suppose. After being bewildered, they don't have any recourse other than refraining from continuing their nefarious [* nefarious- extremely wicked] task.
He continued, saying, "If the predators don't eat our glowing coat of awareness for a while, it will keep on growing. Simplifying this matter to the extreme, I can say that sorcerers, by means of their discipline, push the predators away long enough to allow their glowing coat of awareness to grow beyond the level of the toes. Once it goes beyond the level of the toes, it grows back to its natural size.
"The sorcerers of ancient Mexico used to say that the glowing coat of awareness is like a tree. If it is not pruned, it grows to its natural size and volume. As awareness reaches levels higher than the toes, tremendous maneuvers of perception become a matter of course.
"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times," don Juan continued, "was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline.
"Sorcerers found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, and give any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin.
"The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong; and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine until one day it flees permanently.
"That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices which are nearly zero. A sad day indeed! There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to.
"My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued,"that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life for the real mind that belongs to us.
"The sum total of our experience after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty.
"Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation."
I became genuinely agitated. I wanted to know more, and yet a strange feeling in me clamored for me to stop. It alluded to dark results and punishment, something like the wrath of God descending on me for tampering with something veiled by God himself. I made a supreme effort to allow my curiosity to win.
I heard myself say, "What-what-what do you mean, by taxing the flyers' mind?"
"Discipline taxes the foreign mind no end," he replied. "So, through their discipline, sorcerers vanquish the foreign installation."
I was overwhelmed by his statements. I believed that don Juan was either certifiably insane or that he was telling me something so awesome that it froze everything in me.
I noticed, however how quickly I rallied my energy to deny everything he had said. After an instant of panic, I began to laugh, as if don Juan had told me a joke. I even heard myself saying, "Don Juan, don Juan, you're incorrigible!" [* incorrigible- not capable of being affected by correction or punishment]
Don Juan seemed to understand everything I was experiencing. He shook his head from side to side, and raised his eyes to the heavens in a gesture of mock despair.
He said, "I am so incorrigible, that I am going to give the flyers' mind which you carry inside you one more jolt. I am going to reveal to you one of the most extraordinary secrets of sorcery. I am going to describe to you a finding that took sorcerers thousands of years to verify and consolidate."
He looked at me, smiled maliciously, and said, "The flyers' mind flees forever when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers' mind flees in defeat. And that's exactly what you are going to do; hold on to the energy that binds you together."
I had the most inexplicable reaction I could have imagined. Something in me actually shook, as if it had received a jolt. I entered into a state of unwarranted fear, which I immediately associated with my religious background.
Don Juan looked at me from head to toe.
"You are fearing the wrath of God, aren't you?" he said. "Rest assured, that's not your fear. It's the flyers' fear, because it knows that you will do exactly as I'm telling you."
His words did not calm me at all. I felt worse. I was actually convulsing involuntarily, and I had no means to stop it.
"Don't worry," don Juan said calmly. "I know for a fact that those attacks wear off very quickly. The flyer's mind has no concentration whatsoever."
After a moment, everything stopped as don Juan had predicted. To say again that I was bewildered is a euphemism. [* euphemism- an inoffensive expression that is substituted for one that is considered offensive]
This was the first time in my life ever, with don Juan or alone, that I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
I wanted to get out of the chair and walk around, but I was deathly afraid. I was filled with rational assertions, and at the same time I was filled with an infantile fear.
I began to breathe deeply as a cold perspiration covered my entire body. I had somehow unleashed on myself a most godawful sight: black, fleeting shadows jumping all around me wherever I turned.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the arm of the stuffed chair. "I don't know which way to turn, don Juan," I said. "Tonight, you have really succeeded in getting me lost."
Don Juan said, "You're being torn by an internal struggle.
"Down in the depths of you, you know that you are incapable of refusing the agreement that an indispensable part of you, your glowing coat of awareness, is going to serve as an incomprehensible source of nourishment to, naturally, incomprehensible entities.
"And another part of you will stand against this situation with all its might.
"The sorcerers' revolution," he continued, "is that they refuse to honor agreements in which they did not participate.
"Nobody ever asked me if I would consent to being eaten by beings of a different kind of awareness. My parents just brought me into this world to be food, like themselves, and that's the end of the story."
Don Juan stood up from his chair and stretched his arms and legs. "We have been sitting here for hours. It's time to go into the house. I'm going to eat. Do you want to eat with me?"
I declined. My stomach was in an uproar.
"I think you'd better go to sleep," he said. "The blitz has devastated you."
I didn't need any further coaxing. I collapsed onto my bed, and fell asleep like the dead.
At home, as time went by, the idea of the flyers became one of the main fixations of my life. I got to the point where I felt that don Juan was absolutely right about them. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't discard his logic.
The more I thought about it, and the more I talked to and observed myself, and my fellow men, the more intense the conviction that something was rendering us incapable of any activity or any interaction or any thought that didn't have the self as its focal point.
My concern, as well as the concern of everyone I knew or talked to, was the self.
Since I couldn't find any explanation for such universal homogeneity, I believed that don Juan's line of thought was the most appropriate way of elucidating the phenomenon.
I went as deeply as I could into readings about myths and legends. In reading, I experienced something I had never felt before: Each of the books I read was an interpretation of myths and legends. In each one of those books, a homogeneous mind was palpable.
The styles differed, but the drive behind the words was homogeneously the same: Even though the theme was something as abstract as myths and legends, the authors always managed to insert statements about themselves. The homogeneous drive behind every one of those books was not the stated theme of the book. Instead, it was self-service. I had never felt this before.
I attributed my reaction to don Juan's influence. The unavoidable question that I posed to myself was: Is he influencing me to see this, or is there really a foreign mind dictating everything we do?
I lapsed, perforce, into denial again, and I went insanely from denial to acceptance to denial. Something in me knew that whatever don Juan was driving at was an energetic fact; but something equally important in me knew that all of that was guff.
The end result of my internal struggle was a sense of foreboding; the sense of something imminently dangerous coming at me.
I made extensive anthropological inquiries into the subject of the flyers in other cultures, but I couldn't find any references to them anywhere. Don Juan seemed to be the only source of information about this matter.
The next time I saw him, I instantly jumped to talk about the flyers.
I said, "I have tried my best to be rational about this subject matter, but I can't. There are moments when I fully agree with you about the predators."
"Focus your attention on the fleeting shadows that you actually see," don Juan said with a smile.
I told don Juan that those fleeting shadows were going to be the end of my rational life. I saw them everywhere.
Since I had left his house, I was incapable of going to sleep in the dark. To sleep with the lights on did not bother me at all. The moment I turned the lights off, however, everything around me began to jump. I never saw complete figures or shapes. All I saw were fleeting black shadows.
"The flyers' mind has not left you," don Juan said. "It has been seriously injured. It's trying its best to rearrange its relationship with you. But something in you is severed forever. The flyer knows that. The real danger is that the flyers' mind may win by getting you tired and forcing you to quit by playing the contradiction between what it says and what I say.
"You see, the flyers' mind has no competitors," don Juan continued. "When it proposes something, it agrees with its own proposition, and it makes you believe that you've done something of worth.
"The flyers' mind will say to you that whatever Juan Matus is telling you is pure nonsense, and then the same mind will agree with its own proposition, 'Yes, of course, it is nonsense,' you will say. That's the way they overcome us.
"The flyers are an essential part of the universe," he went on, "and they must be taken as what they really are- awesome, monstrous. They are the means by which the universe tests us.
"We are energetic probes created by the universe," he continued as if he were oblivious to my presence, "and it's because we are possessors of energy that has awareness that we are the means by which the universe becomes aware of itself.
"The flyers are the implacable [* implacable- incapable of being more favourably inclined, or gaining the good will of] challengers. They cannot be taken as anything else. If we succeed in doing that, the universe allows us to continue."
I wanted don Juan to say more. But he said only, "The blitz ended the last time you were here. There's only so much to be said about the flyers.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Subject: How to vanquish fear
From: Justin
Date: Wed, May 23, 2007
To: Editor
Dear Ken,
Thanks for your great site, thought you might appreciate this.
How to vanquish the predator's foreign installation of fear = Bravely, courageously, facing infinity with inner silence.
Please keep up the good work, your site promotes awareness.
Sincerely,
Justin
A conversation between Carlos Castenedas and Yaqui shaman don Juan
"They discovered that we have a companion for life," he said, as clearly as he could. "We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master.
"It has rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don't do so."
It was very dark around us, and that seemed to curtail any expression on my part. If it had been daylight, I would have laughed my head off. In the dark, I felt quite inhibited.
"It's pitch black around us," don Juan said, "but if you look out of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you."
He was right. I could still see them. Their movement made me dizzy. Don Juan turned on the light, and that seemed to dissipate everything.
Don Juan said, "You have arrived, by your effort alone, to what the shamans of ancient Mexico called the topic of topics.
"I have been beating around the bush all this time, insinuating to you that something is holding us prisoner. Indeed we are held prisoner! This was an energetic fact for the sorcerers of ancient Mexico."
"Why has this predator taken over in the fashion that you're describing, don Juan?" I asked. "There must be a logical explanation."
"There is an explanation," don Juan replied, "which is the simplest explanation in the world.
"They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance.
"Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops, gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them."
I felt that my head was shaking violently from side to side. I could not express my profound sense of unease and discontentment, but my body moved to bring it to the surface. I shook from head to toe without any volition on my part.
I heard myself saying, "No, no, no, no. This is absurd, don Juan. What you're saying is something monstrous. It simply can't be true, for sorcerers, or for average men, or for anyone."
"Why not?" don Juan asked calmly. "Why not? Because it infuriates you?"
"Yes, it infuriates me," I retorted. "Those claims are monstrous!"
"Well," he said, "you haven't heard all the claims yet. Wait a bit longer and see how you feel.
"I'm going to subject you to a blitz. That is, I'm going to subject your mind to tremendous onslaughts; and you cannot get up and leave because you're caught. Not because I'm holding you prisoner, but because something in you will prevent you from leaving while another part of you is going to go truthfully berserk. So brace yourself!"
There was something in me which I felt was a 'glutton for punishment'. He was right. I wouldn't have left the house for the world; and yet I didn't like one bit the inanities he was spouting.
Don Juan said, "I want to appeal to your analytical mind. Think for a moment, and tell me how you would explain the contradiction between the intelligence of man the engineer, and the stupidity of his systems of beliefs; or the stupidity of his contradictory behavior.
"Sorcerers believe that the predators have given us our systems of beliefs; our ideas of good and evil; our social mores. The predators are the ones who set up our hopes and expectations, and dreams of success or failure. They have given us covetousness, [* covetousness- an envious eagerness to possess something] greed, and cowardice. It is the predators who make us complacent, routinary, and egomaniacal."
"But how can they do this, don Juan?" I asked, somehow angered further by what he was saying. "Do they whisper all that in our ears while we are asleep?"
"No, they don't do it that way. That's idiotic!" don Juan said, smiling. "They are infinitely more efficient and organized than that.
"In order to keep us obedient, meek and weak, the predators engaged themselves in a stupendous maneuver- stupendous, of course, from the point of view of a fighting strategist; a horrendous maneuver from the point of view of those who suffer it.
"They gave us their mind! Do you hear me? The predators give us their mind which becomes our mind. The predators' mind is baroque, contradictory, morose, and filled with the fear of being discovered any minute now.
"I know that even though you have never suffered hunger," he went on, "you have food anxiety which is none other than the anxiety of the predator who fears that any moment now its maneuver is going to be uncovered, and its food is going to be denied.
"Through the mind, which after all is their mind, the predators inject into the lives of human beings whatever is convenient for them. The predators ensure in this manner a degree of security to act as a buffer against their fear."
"It's not that I can't accept all this at face value, don Juan," I said. "I could, but there's something so odious about it that it actually repels me. It forces me to take a contradictory stand.
"If it's true that they eat us, how do they do it?"
Don Juan had a broad smile on his face. He was as pleased as punch.
He explained that sorcerers see infant human beings as strange, luminous balls of energy covered from the top to the bottom with a glowing coat something like a plastic cover that is adjusted tightly over their cocoon of energy.
He said that that glowing coat of awareness was what the predators consumed, and that when a human being reached adulthood, all that was left of that glowing coat of awareness was a narrow fringe that went from the ground to the top of the toes. That fringe permitted mankind to continue living, but only barely.
As if I were in a dream, I heard don Juan explaining that, to his knowledge, man was the only species that had the glowing coat of awareness outside that luminous cocoon. Therefore, he became easy prey for an awareness of a different order; such as the heavy awareness of the predator.
He then made the most damaging statement he had made so far. He said that this narrow fringe of awareness was the epicenter of self-reflection where man was irremediably caught.
By playing on our self-reflection, which is the only point of awareness left to us, the predators create flares of awareness that they proceed to consume in a ruthless, predatory fashion.
They give us inane problems that force those flares of awareness to rise, and in this manner they keep us alive in order for them to be fed with the energetic flare of our pseudo-concerns.
There must have been something in what don Juan was saying which was so devastating to me that at that point I actually got sick to my stomach.
After a moment's pause long enough for me to recover, I asked don Juan, "But why is it that the sorcerers of ancient Mexico and all sorcerers today, although they see the predators, don't do anything about it?"
"There's nothing that you and I can do about it," don Juan said in a grave, sad voice. "All we can do is discipline ourselves to the point where they will not touch us.
"How can you ask your fellow men to go through those rigors of discipline? They'll laugh and make fun of you; and the more aggressive ones will beat the shit out of you- and not so much because they don't believe it.
"Down in the depths of every human being, there is an ancestral, visceral [* visceral- obtained through intuition rather than from reasoning or observation] knowledge about the predators' existence."
My analytical mind swung back and forth like a yo-yo. It left me and came back, and left me and came back again. Whatever don Juan was proposing was preposterous, incredible.
At the same time, it was a most reasonable thing; so simple. It explained every kind of human contradiction I could think of.
But how could one have taken all this seriously? Don Juan was pushing me into the path of an avalanche that would take me down forever.
I felt another wave of a threatening sensation. The wave didn't stem from me, yet it was attached to me. Don Juan was doing something to me, mysteriously positive and terribly negative at the same time. I sensed it as an attempt to cut a thin film that seemed to be glued to me.
His eyes were fixed on mine in an unblinking stare. He moved his eyes away, and began to talk without looking at me anymore.
"Whenever doubts plague you to a dangerous point," he said, "do something pragmatic about it. Turn off the light. Pierce the darkness; find out what you can see." He got up to turn off the lights. I stopped him.
"No, no, don Juan," I said, "don't turn off the lights. I'm doing okay."
What I felt then was a most unusual, for me, fear of the darkness. The mere thought of it made me pant. I definitely knew something viscerally, [* visceral- relating to or affecting internal organs collectively rather than from reasoning or observation] but I wouldn't dare touch it, or bring it to the surface, not in a million years!
"You saw the fleeting shadows against the trees," don Juan said, sitting back against his chair. "That's pretty good. I'd like you to see them inside this room. You're not seeing anything. You're just merely catching fleeting images. You have enough energy for that."
I feared that don Juan would get up anyway and turn off the lights, which he did. Two seconds later, I was screaming my head off. Not only did I catch a glimpse of those fleeting images, I heard them buzzing by my ears.
Don Juan doubled up with laughter as he turned on the lights.
"What a temperamental fellow!" he said. "A total disbeliever, on the one hand; and a total pragmatist on the other.
"You must arrange this internal fight, otherwise you're going to swell up like a big toad and burst."
Don Juan kept on pushing his barb deeper and deeper into me. "The sorcerers of ancient Mexico," he said, "saw the predator. They called it the flyer because it leaps through the air. It is not a pretty sight. It is a big shadow, impenetrably dark, a black shadow that jumps through the air. Then, it lands flat on the ground.
"The sorcerers of ancient Mexico were quite ill at ease with the idea of when it made its appearance on Earth. They reasoned that man must have been a complete being at one point, with stupendous insights and feats of awareness that are mythological legends nowadays. And then everything seems to disappear, and we have now a sedated man."
I wanted to get angry and call him a paranoiac, but somehow the righteousness that was usually just underneath the surface of my being wasn't there.
Something in me was beyond the point of asking myself my favorite question: What if all that he said is true? At the moment he was talking to me that night, in my heart of hearts, I felt that all of what he was saying was true, but at the same time and with equal force, I felt that all that he was saying was absurdity itself.
"What are you saying, don Juan?" I asked feebly. My throat was constricted. I could hardly breathe.
"What I'm saying is that what we have against us is not a simple predator. It is very smart and organized. It follows a methodical system to render us useless. Man, the magical being that he is destined to be, is no longer magical. He's an average piece of meat. There are no more dreams for man but the dreams of an animal who is being raised to become a piece of meat: trite, conventional, imbecilic."
Don Juan's words were eliciting a strange, bodily reaction in me comparable to the sensation of nausea. It was as if I were going to get sick to my stomach again. But the nausea was coming from the bottom of my being, from the marrow of my bones. I convulsed involuntarily.
Don Juan shook me by the shoulders forcefully. I felt my neck wobbling back and forth under the impact of his grip. The maneuver calmed me down at once. I felt more in control.
"This predator," don Juan said, "which, of course, is an inorganic being, is not altogether invisible to us as other inorganic beings are. I think as children we do see it, but we decide it's so horrific that we don't want to think about it.
"Children, of course, could insist on focusing on the sight, but everybody else around them dissuades them from doing so.
Continuing, he said, "The only alternative left for mankind is discipline. Discipline is the only deterrent.
"But by discipline I don't mean harsh routines. I don't mean waking up every morning at five-thirty and throwing cold water on yourself until you're blue.
"Sorcerers understand discipline as the capacity to face with serenity odds that are not included in our expectations. For sorcerers, discipline is an art; the art of facing infinity without flinching; not because they are strong and tough, but because they are filled with awe."
"In what way would the sorcerers' discipline be a deterrent to the flyers?" I asked.
Don Juan scrutinized my face as if to discover any signs of my disbelief. He said,"Sorcerers say that discipline makes the glowing coat of awareness unpalatable to the flyer.
"The result is that the predators become bewildered. An inedible glowing coat of awareness is not part of their cognition, I suppose. After being bewildered, they don't have any recourse other than refraining from continuing their nefarious [* nefarious- extremely wicked] task.
He continued, saying, "If the predators don't eat our glowing coat of awareness for a while, it will keep on growing. Simplifying this matter to the extreme, I can say that sorcerers, by means of their discipline, push the predators away long enough to allow their glowing coat of awareness to grow beyond the level of the toes. Once it goes beyond the level of the toes, it grows back to its natural size.
"The sorcerers of ancient Mexico used to say that the glowing coat of awareness is like a tree. If it is not pruned, it grows to its natural size and volume. As awareness reaches levels higher than the toes, tremendous maneuvers of perception become a matter of course.
"The grand trick of those sorcerers of ancient times," don Juan continued, "was to burden the flyers' mind with discipline.
"Sorcerers found out that if they taxed the flyers' mind with inner silence, the foreign installation would flee, and give any one of the practitioners involved in this maneuver the total certainty of the mind's foreign origin.
"The foreign installation comes back, I assure you, but not as strong; and a process begins in which the fleeing of the flyers' mind becomes routine until one day it flees permanently.
"That's the day when you have to rely on your own devices which are nearly zero. A sad day indeed! There's no one to tell you what to do. There's no mind of foreign origin to dictate the imbecilities you're accustomed to.
"My teacher, the nagual Julian, used to warn all his disciples," don Juan continued,"that this was the toughest day in a sorcerer's life for the real mind that belongs to us.
"The sum total of our experience after a lifetime of domination has been rendered shy, insecure, and shifty.
"Personally, I would say that the real battle of sorcerers begins at that moment. The rest is merely preparation."
I became genuinely agitated. I wanted to know more, and yet a strange feeling in me clamored for me to stop. It alluded to dark results and punishment, something like the wrath of God descending on me for tampering with something veiled by God himself. I made a supreme effort to allow my curiosity to win.
I heard myself say, "What-what-what do you mean, by taxing the flyers' mind?"
"Discipline taxes the foreign mind no end," he replied. "So, through their discipline, sorcerers vanquish the foreign installation."
I was overwhelmed by his statements. I believed that don Juan was either certifiably insane or that he was telling me something so awesome that it froze everything in me.
I noticed, however how quickly I rallied my energy to deny everything he had said. After an instant of panic, I began to laugh, as if don Juan had told me a joke. I even heard myself saying, "Don Juan, don Juan, you're incorrigible!" [* incorrigible- not capable of being affected by correction or punishment]
Don Juan seemed to understand everything I was experiencing. He shook his head from side to side, and raised his eyes to the heavens in a gesture of mock despair.
He said, "I am so incorrigible, that I am going to give the flyers' mind which you carry inside you one more jolt. I am going to reveal to you one of the most extraordinary secrets of sorcery. I am going to describe to you a finding that took sorcerers thousands of years to verify and consolidate."
He looked at me, smiled maliciously, and said, "The flyers' mind flees forever when a sorcerer succeeds in grabbing on to the vibrating force that holds us together as a conglomerate of energy fields. If a sorcerer maintains that pressure long enough, the flyers' mind flees in defeat. And that's exactly what you are going to do; hold on to the energy that binds you together."
I had the most inexplicable reaction I could have imagined. Something in me actually shook, as if it had received a jolt. I entered into a state of unwarranted fear, which I immediately associated with my religious background.
Don Juan looked at me from head to toe.
"You are fearing the wrath of God, aren't you?" he said. "Rest assured, that's not your fear. It's the flyers' fear, because it knows that you will do exactly as I'm telling you."
His words did not calm me at all. I felt worse. I was actually convulsing involuntarily, and I had no means to stop it.
"Don't worry," don Juan said calmly. "I know for a fact that those attacks wear off very quickly. The flyer's mind has no concentration whatsoever."
After a moment, everything stopped as don Juan had predicted. To say again that I was bewildered is a euphemism. [* euphemism- an inoffensive expression that is substituted for one that is considered offensive]
This was the first time in my life ever, with don Juan or alone, that I didn't know whether I was coming or going.
I wanted to get out of the chair and walk around, but I was deathly afraid. I was filled with rational assertions, and at the same time I was filled with an infantile fear.
I began to breathe deeply as a cold perspiration covered my entire body. I had somehow unleashed on myself a most godawful sight: black, fleeting shadows jumping all around me wherever I turned.
I closed my eyes and rested my head on the arm of the stuffed chair. "I don't know which way to turn, don Juan," I said. "Tonight, you have really succeeded in getting me lost."
Don Juan said, "You're being torn by an internal struggle.
"Down in the depths of you, you know that you are incapable of refusing the agreement that an indispensable part of you, your glowing coat of awareness, is going to serve as an incomprehensible source of nourishment to, naturally, incomprehensible entities.
"And another part of you will stand against this situation with all its might.
"The sorcerers' revolution," he continued, "is that they refuse to honor agreements in which they did not participate.
"Nobody ever asked me if I would consent to being eaten by beings of a different kind of awareness. My parents just brought me into this world to be food, like themselves, and that's the end of the story."
Don Juan stood up from his chair and stretched his arms and legs. "We have been sitting here for hours. It's time to go into the house. I'm going to eat. Do you want to eat with me?"
I declined. My stomach was in an uproar.
"I think you'd better go to sleep," he said. "The blitz has devastated you."
I didn't need any further coaxing. I collapsed onto my bed, and fell asleep like the dead.
At home, as time went by, the idea of the flyers became one of the main fixations of my life. I got to the point where I felt that don Juan was absolutely right about them. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't discard his logic.
The more I thought about it, and the more I talked to and observed myself, and my fellow men, the more intense the conviction that something was rendering us incapable of any activity or any interaction or any thought that didn't have the self as its focal point.
My concern, as well as the concern of everyone I knew or talked to, was the self.
Since I couldn't find any explanation for such universal homogeneity, I believed that don Juan's line of thought was the most appropriate way of elucidating the phenomenon.
I went as deeply as I could into readings about myths and legends. In reading, I experienced something I had never felt before: Each of the books I read was an interpretation of myths and legends. In each one of those books, a homogeneous mind was palpable.
The styles differed, but the drive behind the words was homogeneously the same: Even though the theme was something as abstract as myths and legends, the authors always managed to insert statements about themselves. The homogeneous drive behind every one of those books was not the stated theme of the book. Instead, it was self-service. I had never felt this before.
I attributed my reaction to don Juan's influence. The unavoidable question that I posed to myself was: Is he influencing me to see this, or is there really a foreign mind dictating everything we do?
I lapsed, perforce, into denial again, and I went insanely from denial to acceptance to denial. Something in me knew that whatever don Juan was driving at was an energetic fact; but something equally important in me knew that all of that was guff.
The end result of my internal struggle was a sense of foreboding; the sense of something imminently dangerous coming at me.
I made extensive anthropological inquiries into the subject of the flyers in other cultures, but I couldn't find any references to them anywhere. Don Juan seemed to be the only source of information about this matter.
The next time I saw him, I instantly jumped to talk about the flyers.
I said, "I have tried my best to be rational about this subject matter, but I can't. There are moments when I fully agree with you about the predators."
"Focus your attention on the fleeting shadows that you actually see," don Juan said with a smile.
I told don Juan that those fleeting shadows were going to be the end of my rational life. I saw them everywhere.
Since I had left his house, I was incapable of going to sleep in the dark. To sleep with the lights on did not bother me at all. The moment I turned the lights off, however, everything around me began to jump. I never saw complete figures or shapes. All I saw were fleeting black shadows.
"The flyers' mind has not left you," don Juan said. "It has been seriously injured. It's trying its best to rearrange its relationship with you. But something in you is severed forever. The flyer knows that. The real danger is that the flyers' mind may win by getting you tired and forcing you to quit by playing the contradiction between what it says and what I say.
"You see, the flyers' mind has no competitors," don Juan continued. "When it proposes something, it agrees with its own proposition, and it makes you believe that you've done something of worth.
"The flyers' mind will say to you that whatever Juan Matus is telling you is pure nonsense, and then the same mind will agree with its own proposition, 'Yes, of course, it is nonsense,' you will say. That's the way they overcome us.
"The flyers are an essential part of the universe," he went on, "and they must be taken as what they really are- awesome, monstrous. They are the means by which the universe tests us.
"We are energetic probes created by the universe," he continued as if he were oblivious to my presence, "and it's because we are possessors of energy that has awareness that we are the means by which the universe becomes aware of itself.
"The flyers are the implacable [* implacable- incapable of being more favourably inclined, or gaining the good will of] challengers. They cannot be taken as anything else. If we succeed in doing that, the universe allows us to continue."
I wanted don Juan to say more. But he said only, "The blitz ended the last time you were here. There's only so much to be said about the flyers.
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